| Stream of consciousness 6/13/03 I am a liar but not a good one I am a poet who writes words I feel but cannot understand I am one soul looking for something like everyone else and they�ve all seemed to find that one thing except me the wanderer who walks lonely paths trying to humor herself with bad things and ends up feeling so down she longs to just cry it out but cant because she�s too strong her body wont allow tears to fall she�s so exhausted so she cries in her sleep because it�s the only way the only way to relieve the pain and the only way it becomes a fantasy is in the imagination of the subconscious and this is when I can lie to myself in my sleep which has become my reality is if I�m crying in my sleep and I can only lie if I really believe its not happening to me so like I said I�m a liar but not a good one. ============================================================================================ Who Am I? I am the lost little girl who�s confused and been used because she�s too mature for her age and isn�t ready for the information that�s coming her way who cries in her sleep without shedding a tear by the light of the moon she wishes she could take back her lies and be rid of her fears because now someone she shared something so special with is rehashing at one bad time not looking at not remembering the good times he is always depressed she is an optimist who knows things will get better and focuses on the good times but in her optimism she ignores the problems pretending they will go away pretending she�s really ok but everyone knows she�s hurting but she refuses to let it eat her inside she wants to be ok I want to be ok I want not to lie the truth is that is who I am. |