Questionnaire
4/28/03


     Everyone has a story about filling out job applications� I�d watch my mother look each one over, skeptical, and asking herself out loud why stores required such insignificant information. For instance, the question,
   �Where are you currently employed?�
   �No where!� She�d exclaim, �If I was currently employed, I wouldn�t be filling out your damn application!�
Well, my day came when I needed a real job with a weekly paycheck. Sixteen and searching. I took an application from any local store that was hiring, and sat down at the kitchen table with my nice big stack of forms. I began the questionnaire: �Name. Last Name First.� 
OK. Off to a good start!
   �Do you agree with these terms of service?�
   "Yes" sure, why not? Of course, I didn�t actually read the terms of service, never have, and most likely never will. I don�t know anyone else who does. Not gonna start now.
   �With whom are you currently employed?�
Oh that one�s easy, my parents! I do chores and baby-sit, I figured if I got paid, that it counts. 
One by one the papers form a �send out� pile. Aside from my �yet to read� pile.  Medical questions, personal history questions, schooling questions;
   �Age?� 16.
   �School of Graduation?� M i d d l e  S c h o o l  E a s t.  Oh, college, umm, I�m not there yet.

  As a 16-year old with a short attention span, I had to take frequent breaks. There were only so many questions I could handle at a time.  Finally, I was fed up. I threw down my pen and yelled, �SCREW IT! Baby-sitting is fine!�

     20 years later, as I sit on my overstuffed chair, happily content with my life and career, I glance at my 16-year old daughter, who is sifting through hiring store�s applications.  I know she is getting frustrated, I can see it in her mouth, her lips pursed tight. Before I continue reading the newspaper, I pause shortly to acknowledge the fact that I know exactly how she feels.  I filled out many an application in my life, searching till I found the one thing that made me happy, that fit me best. It�s like searching for clothes; it even takes about the same amount of time�forever! 
     I restrain myself from helping her.  She needs to learn how to do it herself.  That�s what my mom told me. 
I hear my daughter in the kitchen, sighing and muttering answers to insignificant questions.  She shouts out loud at the application in front of her, �WHO AM I CURRENTLY EMPLOYED TO?!� �No one you idiots! If I was already employed, I wouldn�t be filling out your friggin` application!� she slams her pen on the table, �Screw it!� she says, �Babysitting is fine!�
1