Work Break with Jesus
Three and a half hours and only 62 entries. My eyes were bugging out of my head and my toes were cold. I needed a break. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and a chocolate peanut butter cup (there is something about chocolate with a cigarette) and headed down the stairs. As soon as I stepped outside, the warm air wrapped itself around me and everything softened.
"I was wondering when you were going to finally take a break!" I looked up as I sat down on a big rock and saw him walking toward me. He was really sweaty and a little sun burnt on his nose, but looking as great as ever. He had his hair tied back at the nape of his neck and his beard was freshly trimmed. He wasn't wearing sandals today and his toe nails were dirty. I removed my sandals and set my peanut butter cup on my lap.
"I get addicted to those stupid things. I can't stop myself. But Rach kept telling me to take a break, so I finally did." I grinned and took my lighter out to light a cigarette.
"When did you switch?" he asked, pointing to the carton. "Oh, I never did really. I just take whatever I can get when I really need a smoke and the place I went didn't have special lights." I lifted the cigarette and continued, "Really, if I kept smoking these, I'd quit because I don't really like them very much. I don't know how people can smoke Marlboros."
He chuckled and sat down on the pavement across from me. Just then, I noticed a black butterfly by his feet. It was crawling away from me, and I wondered if I had almost sat on it. "She's pretty," I said, pointing at her with my cigarette. "She looks hurt."
"You think?" He asked as we both watched her crawl a little further and then stop, motionless. "Mmm, maybe," I replied. "Her wings look funny." Everytime the wind picked up, they bent and swayed, almost turning her little body over. She sat with her back to me, and the yellow spots on her behind were cute. I observed the detail of her wings, with yellow spots at the top and then larger orange and blue circles on the side. They were very beautiful. Almost hypnotic. I turned my attention back to him and smiled.
"Can I have some of that?" He asked, peering at my buttercup. "Sure," I said handing it to him. "I actually don't want to eat it anyway. I already had a half of a chocolate chip cookie."
He laughed under his breath and took a bite. "Too many calories?"
"Something like that," I said with a lopsided grin. "You don't care what you eat, do you?"
He took another big bite and spoke again while chewing. "Not really. He grinned wildly and continued, "I love food....I love eating, and everywhere I go everyone is always eating something.
"Well, you can finish that off then," I replied and took a drag of my cigarette.
I turned my attention back to our little butterfly again. "I really think she's hurt. Maybe I could take her in and help her. I don't know how I'd do that though. Don't I need a jar or something?"
"I guess," he said glancing at her. "But I think she's okay."
I felt a little indignant. "She looks so tired though, and she's hardly moving. Just when the wind picks up, her wings flop a little." I narrowed my eyes and watched her closely. "And she's probably hot," I pointed out.
He held the peanut butter cup in one hand while he laid his other palm on the ground and then traced the line where the sun met the shadow of the canopy we sat under. "She's in the shade," he said shortly, as if that made everything fine. I rolled my eyes and found myself irritated with his lack of concern. Couldn't he just snap his fingers and heal her so she could fly away? I mean, isn't that the kind of thing he likes to do?
"Well, whatever," I said, putting my cigarette out. "I guess you know what's best." He looked up at me surprised. Suddenly I felt awful.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I mean, here you came all this way to see me on my break and I'm cranky because you won't help this stupid butterfly. I guess I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."
He finished the butter cup and brushed his hands together. "Were you having nightmares?"
"Yeah. I don't know why, though. I've been trying to figure out if there was some sort of trigger to it or something, but I've got nothin." I stood up and dropped my cigarette butt in a pot of water that had become my co-workers' designated ashtray. "I guess I'll figure it out one of these days."
He stood up behind me and leaned against the pole of the canopy, scratched his beard, and smiled. We stood there for a few seconds and let the warm air rush between our legs and through our hair. I realized I should head back inside. "I guess I'll see you later?"
"Yeah," he said, pushing my sandals toward me with his big toe. "And don't worry about her, she's just resting." I followed his glance back to the butterfly and then slipped my sandals on.
I smiled sheepishly, realizing how different we thought about things sometimes. "Oh. I didn't think about that....Okay." I smiled again and headed inside. When I reached the stairs I turned and looked back to see him gone, and our pretty little friend fluttering away.
