*loolaville _poetry    



My Son

The air outside is cold and still
and cars roll by on the dark pavement,
machines indifferent with lights
harsh white and hot red.
And I tremble.

The leaves rustle at my feet
as if they're telling each other
secrets they don't want me to hear.
The wind invades from nowhere
and they scramble furiously.

Everything seems to be happening
so effortlessly,
and my heart catches in my throat
for maybe not loving you enough.
The tears sting at my eyes
though I thought I had none left to cry.

I try to remember the exact color
of your eyes but I'm afraid I can't
and I wonder at this moment
if they are open alive and lucid
or if they rest shut
safely sleeping.

I breathe in deep and seconds pass
as you flash inside my mind.
I see you as a babe at my breast,
wrapped warm and tight in cotton blankets.
I can smell innocence
in your damp hair.

What I would give to stop time
in this empty and aching moment
to hold you again
and erase the heavens,
and the earth if I have to,
to free you from this hell.
 


   
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