running through hallways with walls of glass
my face reflected in distorted images as i glance back
constant over my shoulder so conflicting
my chest is restricting
literally
i suck through my tube for the drug
anything to replace the lack of love
pressing the button that releases the mist
alone in my bed
i am distressed.
i take small steps to reach the counter
i feel devoured
as my hand leans against the wall to rest
and catch my breath.
i am alone, and it hurts none the less,
that life has been diminished to this
i stand with my palms on the bathroom sink,
studying my face, my eyes with tears on the brink
of spilling over
and realize, that i am the strongest person i know
beside my mother.
i have battled every demon alone
riding swells and raging storms
to come out victorous each and every time
a little bit weakened, but flags held high,
they are the darker side of scorpio
those that claim to love me
to know me
but never stop to show me
i am no more real to them
then they feel they are to me
my tongue reaches out to lick the envelope
that seals my wishes and contains my hope
i will always see my future a solitary path
tainted with occasional bitterness and wrath
misunderstanding of absense of existence
but the portal will always give way to resistance
so I sit here struggling for shallow breath
knowing the underlying possibility of death
but not accepting as strength never does
only thoughts to fight and soar above
i see far... so far below
the darker side of scorpio.
X