I have come to accept what an impact you have had on the person I have become and am becoming. At first, I didn't want that allowance, fought it, could not surrender my thoughts to realizing the truths of how real your harshness was. I stood alone, outside of myself, looking at someone that I did not like. All of these years of wearing masks of confidence and dillusion, hoping that others would see me as I thought I saw myself, yet realizing, that what was seen was not what appeared to be. Even now, I feel unsure, confused, wondering why the first thought I awaken to is of someone I have never touched. I have never wanted so much, or wished, or fantasized at night when I'm falling into sleep of this union that I wonder will ever exist. No one compares or matches what I feel, and it brings me to tears. Like steel to magnet, I am grounded, unable to move left or right, back or even forward to anything or anyone. Am I alone in this state of being?
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