I never imagined it would be like this. I cannot define what I am feeling, for it is new. I am not overwhelmed by the urge to run, or shut it out. Instead, I feel grounded, like a rock, unable to move, asking myself if I am stunned or if I am finally feeling what it is to give in love. I sit here, viewing this pain, this wrenching flatness that owns no walls, spread like one who has surrendered to the fullness of it. This connection, so powerful, like a magnet of softness has me completely surrounded. Yearning to experience this is something beyond any yearning I have ever experienced... so different... so opposite. I have ran my hands over the smoothest diamond, absorbing light and richness, cultivating inside of my coal mine where darkness has lain, producing the finest of jewels.
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