* Confused Feelings *

Hi all. I'm starting to get some confused feelings. No, I'm not going back to girls, I've just been feeling like there is something missing in my life. I guess it's true friends. Sure, I have Mary, but she is so busy with her life I never get to talk to her, and it seems like her and I are starting down two seperate paths for each other. Maybe one day our path will cross again, but for now the fork in the road is seperating us. It seems like that happens between me and all my friends. I need to get more friends, but it's hard at the place I am at now, I barely know anyone, and I haven't seen anyone in my age range. This was always so much easier as a kid, but now it's so hard as an adult.

As for me and Robby, well, we still talk. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for another relationship mentally. I long for the companionship, but I don't want to get hurt anymore. I cared about Mike a lot, and I think about him so freaking much it drives me crazy sometimes. I even cry myself to sleep sometimes wishing we were still together. I hope he's ok, he never calls and he's never on-line. I know he had a lot of problems, and I was willing to help him, but he wouldn't let me. Mike, if you ever read this, then contact me, let me know your ok. With Robby, I'm just not sure what to think. When I talk to him(on-line or text messaging) I feel like he's just lonely like I am. I mean, he doesn't seem like he wants a relationship because he's not wanting to be around me, which I can't say that I haven't been doing the same. I want to go to his house, hang out and do all that fun stuff, but without transportation, that's sorta hard. I always look for him at work, even though he may not realize it. I even went on Revenge of the Mummy a few days ago just to see if I could find him, of course he wasn't there(that I saw anyway).

Well, tomorrow I get to open again. I've been opening all this past week and next because one of our leads is moving so he needed time off, and my supervisor did the same thing, so that sorta makes me the #1 guy in games. It's wierd cause I have all this responcibility, but I can handle it. I just HATE getting up so early in the morning. The good part is that I get to leave around 5ish so it's not that bad. Speaking of which, I need to get some sleep. And a special thanks to Xavier and James M for all the stuff they do. They have no clue how much it means to me to have someone that takes time out of their busy lifes to read this and/or talk to me on AIM. Thanks again. Well, good night everyone!

~James