* Same old stuff *

Ok, well it seems as if my routine is going just as it did last year. Get depressed around Christmas, then cheer up a bit, then go back into depression. Maybe I should be on medication, but the reason I am so depressed is because I feel I have no life. Well, I do have a life and my life is WORK. I love where I work, but a guy needs more than just working. I wanted things between Robby and I to work, but I don't think it is. I saw on his away message one night that he was spending the night with Jean. Now that didn't really bother me to much, until I found out who Jean was. Jean is his supervisor/lead at his other job and he's been kinda "seeing" him on the side. Now how is that supposed to make me feel?! Here he is trying to hook up with me or whatever, yet he's seeing someone on the side? I'm just confused about the whole relationship thing. But we haven't actually talked other than a few moments on-line. He's always too busy or not interested in talking, which is EXACTLY what happened the last time and I knew in my heart that is was going to, but I kept telling my self it wasn't. Maybe Robby will read this and understand the crazy messages I'd text him. He keeps sending mixed signals...asking if I'm on-line...telling me not to go to bed, but then at the same time it's like he doesn't care. I just want an honest relationship, is that too much? I go to girls, because they never screw me over...I go to guys cause I feel comfortable around them, BUT NEITHER WORKS OUT! I need to get laid or something. Well, tomorrow I open..maybe it will be a good day.

~James