Never Want to Fly
July 2003
By Skylier
Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing all about me
He was lying so quietly there sound asleep. We had talked most of the night only to have it end in an argument. I knew if he caught me sitting here watching like this he would yell and curse me till hell wormed over. He stirred slightly I couldn't leave.
I was sick of running from him, Sick of hiding. All I had wonted for the last 200 years was to be close to him. Will he reject me? 'He'll turn you away again'. Came my frightened pestering thoughts. I lent back against one of the posts at the foot of the bed and closed my eyes. Suddenly I could feel his eyes glaring at me, burning holes in my soul. I turned looking at him.
"Lestat what are you doing here? Get out! Get out NOW"! He yelled and I stood leaving the room. I heard him gasp lightly he. He was surprised that I was so willing to leave, willing to so as he told me.
I was sitting on the couch when he came out; He sat on the opposite end of the couch from me. I tried to ignore him and continued aimlessly flipping through channels.
Some time I feel like this is only chemistry
Stuck in a maze
Searching for away to shut down turn around
Feel the ground beneath me
Your so close were do you and were do I begin
Always pushing and pulling
Some times sanity takes vacation time on me
I'm in a daze stumbling bewildered
North of gravity end up in the stratosphere
You and roller coaster riding love
You're the center of adrenaline
And I'm beginning to understand
He had taken out the paper and sat flipping through the pages; I continued to go through the channels of the T.V till I couldn't stand it any longer. He was to close, and far to quiet. I knew he was angry but did he have to torture me this way.
I stood leaving the room. I felt his eyes follow me out of the room. I went into the office and sat at the computer, turning it on. Not five minutes passed before I heard his footsteps slowly approaching. He came to stand in the doorway.
"Lestat what's wrong"? He came forward kneeling down beside my chair. He kissed my cheek I pushed him away.
"Stop it Louis".
"What's wrong Lestat? Don't you still love me"? His voice was soft and sad suddenly.
"Of course I love you. I just don't know about you any more. Half the time your shy and avoiding me, yelling when ever I try just to be close to you. The half you wont to cuddle and be close. I just don't know what you wont from me".
"Your always pushing me away, but then you turn around and invite me into the most loving embrace known to man", he looked at me like he didn't understand. He reached out whipping away the tears that had begun to slide down my cheeks. I hadn't even noticed them.
I slid down out of my chair into his arms. He was warm though I knew he hadn't fed that night.
Walk on broken glass make my way through fire
These are the things I would do for love
Farewell peace of mind kiss good bye to reason
Up is down impossible occurs each day
I only prey it doesn't kill me
"Please Louis you have to tell me, I have to know. I feel like I'm going mad". I was sobbing against him now. He was rocking me gently, caressing my cheek softly, but he didn't say anything he just held me. I pulled back away from him looking into his eyes so beautiful. "Louis please", he just continued to look at me.
I stood walking away. I went into his room not my own. I lay on his bed were he had been lying not an hour before. I could smell him there, his sweet sent. I wonted to die, to simply through myself into the sun. The agony of the sun would less then this.
The door slid open and he slowly walked into the room. I felt his weight as he lay down on the bed beside me, he wrapt his arms around me; laying his head against my shoulder.
Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing all about me