The Pre-Season Meeting

It is very important to have a preseason meeting with both parents and players. This is your opportunity to set out your coaching philosophy (including your plans for the team as a whole and your approach to player development). This is also your chance to explain team rules in a non-confrontational setting (before any discipline is needed), and to recruit volunteers to help you with administrative tasks.

Skip this first meeting at your peril. If the first time that some bossy parent has any contact with you is on Game Day when your team is getting pounded, and this parent tries to "help" you by yelling at the kids or standing beside you to offer "helpful" suggestions, you will be very sorry that you did not lay out your game-day ground rules early. And, when little Johnny doesn't show up for 4 practices running, doesn't call, and then appears on game-day without shin guards and no uniform (and Mom is furious that he isn't starting - or even listed on the game board), you will be very sorry that you had not given out Team Rules which covered mandatory equipment or your expectations on attendance.

We are not kidding when we suggest that this is probably the most important meeting which your team will have for the entire season. So, plan it carefully; get organized; and do your best to make an excellent first impression.

1. Where To Have The Meeting

You will need about 30-45 minutes to go over the items which you want to cover, so you want your "audience" to be comfortable. There are many places where you might consider holding your meeting. Libraries often have meeting rooms available. Churches also may make their meeting facilities open to outside groups. In addition, cafeterias often have meeting rooms, as do many pizza parlors and family-oriented restaurants. Of course, your home is also an option if your team is not very large.

2. When To Have The Meeting

Try to schedule your meeting very soon after you get your team roster. Most players will have friends on other teams in your age group, so they will know when their buddies have gotten calls from their coaches. Players can get very anxious when they haven't heard in a day or two, so get your meeting set up quickly. If you don't have a place yet, you can always call and tell the parents when you plan on having it - and then call back with the place/time.

Families are often busy with church or school activities, and it can be tough to find a time when everyone can attend. Busy times may vary from one region to another, and it's hard to set out general rules: use your own judgement in trying to find a moment when most people are likely to be free. In some places, Sunday afternoon may be the only unclaimed time in the schedule of many busy families, so around 4pm on Sunday can be an excellent time to hold this type of meeting. Mondays and Tuesday evenings frequently are slow times for restaurants, and often may be less hectic for families. Scheduling around 7 pm allows the family to eat first if they want, or to decide to eat at the restaurant. Try to avoid times when people are likely to be at church and times when parents who also have other kids may need to take them to other activities.

3. What To Cover At The Meeting

Here is a sample agenda for a preseason meeting, which addresses the common topics to be covered in the meeting.

• Introductions
  First of all, introduce yourself and your assistants (if any) to the parents. Most parents like to hear something about your background and your philosophy of coaching, especially as it impinges on their own child, so you may want to say something about how much playing time each player can expect.
  It's also a good idea to go around the room and ask parents to introduce themselves and say which player they're related to. Some of the parents may know one another well, others may not, and they'll be seeing quite a bit of one another!
  You may also want to pass around a sign-in sheet and ask people to put their name and phone number on it; this can be useful later to see who was present at the meeting and to check phone numbers.
• Distribution of Player Packets (see below)
• Discussion of Plans for the Team
• Need for every player to do soccer homework between practices.
• Expectations for player development by end of season.
• Expectations for win/loss record by end of season.
• Review materials in Player Packet (Player roster with phone numbers and addresses, Team Rules and Parent Expectations, Questionnaires, Practice place/times, Player equipment needs, Game Information, Need by Team for volunteers (Calling trees, assistants, etc.).
• You may want to set up a parent committee if there are matters such as fundraising or carpooling to be handled that are outside your jurisdiction. If possible, it's a good idea for this committee to be appointed on the spot and meet for a few minutes to get to know one another.
• Team Uniforms/Team Name
• A means of contacting everyone without one person doing all of the calling.(Phone chains.)
• Discuss the laws of the game, which are quite simple at this level.
• Practice and game schedules. How you feel about starting and ending on time, what your attendance expectations are, what you think is a good excuse to miss practice
• What each player should bring to practice: inflated ball, filled water bottle,soccer attire, shin guards (Cleats are not mandatory.)
• Special Skills Clinics
• Questions/Answers

Probably the most important aspect to discuss with your parents is your philosophy about coaching U-6 players. Let them know that everyone plays; that the game does not look like the older player's games; that you are there to ensure that their player is safe and has a good time, as well as learn about soccer.

The second most important aspect is your expectations from them during game time. For example, how do you want them to cheer? Do they know that they should never coach from the sidelines?

4. Tips On Making The Meeting Run Smoothly

Many parents will want to go ahead and fill out the questionnaires at the meeting, so bring plenty of pencils/pens. Young players tend to get fidgety, so try to talk to them as much as you can. Bring a sack of candy or little treats (pencils, stickers, etc.), and start asking questions like "Why do you suppose that I want you to call me if you cannot come to practice?" - and toss a piece of candy to the people who answer correctly. Don't hesitate to reward parents, as well - they will get a kick out of this.

Some parents may be divorced, so bring extra questionnaires, rosters and game schedules to the meeting for the other parent. If you note that the parents are divorced, make a mental note to check with the parent attending the meeting with the child about custody problems (including who is allowed to pick up the child after practice). This can save a lot of arguments later.

Be sure to go over the Team Rules, and your expectations for parental behavior (especially at games). While being friendly, be firm that you expect that parents will not yell at kids on the field or yell at referees - and that the ONLY talk that you want to see is positive (good try, nice save, etc.). Remind parents that children perform worse if distracted or harshly criticized, so you really need their cooperation. Also remind them that Refs are usually inexperienced themselves at lower age groups, and often will make mistakes. However, if we yell at the Refs, we can make the Ref more rattled, or get the Ref mad at the team, or even might convince the kids that the Ref is against them, which tends to make players want to stop trying or say/do bad things to the Refs themselves (which can get the kids in really hot water) - so you expect the parents to set a good example of sportsmanship for the team.

If you are going to take a long-term approach toward player development, and move players around (instead of locking players into single positions to increase your win/loss record), tell the parents why you have chosen this route. Explain how you define "winning", and what your approach towards player development will be. Of course, there may be some parents who really want their child on a hyper-competitive team. By giving them early warning of your approach, this allows them to talk to the club about moving to a different team (which may be best for all concerned).

Some coaches haven't done much public speaking, and may be nervous about talking (especially if they have never coached soccer before and are not sure what they are doing). As an old college professor used to say, "There is a big difference between ignorance and stupidity one is curable." Don't be afraid to make mistakes, and to admit that you are learning. If you are trying hard, and doing your best to be fair and make learning fun, most kids and most parents will give you the benefit of the doubt. So, try to relax; get prepared for the meeting ahead of time; ask some questions yourself to get the kids/parents talking; and enjoy. It is going to be a fun year!

5. Sample Handout

Sample Information for Players

Player Packets

Each new player has received a packet with Team Rules, and Player and Parent Information Sheets

Other Information

Please make sure that your player always comes to practice with a ball; water bottle; and layered clothing. On windy days, players can chill quickly so they really do need to bring a jacket.

Please be sure to put name on your balls.

(items of particular interest to the U6 coach)

It's important to make sure parents understand what you are trying to accomplish and how you will be going about it. So, explain the objectives to the parents at the beginning of the season and get agreement. Some of the parents will be new to soccer, so (In addition to following the guidelines on the pre-season meeting) give the parents a written summary containing the following:

• safety rules (e.g. spikes and shinguards required at games and practices),
• the names of all children on the roster (this will help the kids get to know each other),
• the coach's rules or the additional guidelines that you ask the parents to commit to.

Some that are appropriate for wee ones are:

• bring water,
• need to make sure kids go to the bathroom just before leaving the house,

you should have one ball for each child plus one for yourself. You should ask the kids to bring their own balls if one is not provided to them. At this age group, it is more important than ever to get a couple or more parents to help with the practice. Believe me, you will need extra help to chase balls, tie shoes, and wipe noses to allow you to move among the kids to ensure they are practicing what you instructed. Ideally, you will have at most two or three kids per parent/coach.

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