Prologue

Several years ago I was authorized ta chronicle tha purported true events of an amaz'n adventure . You gotta check dis shit out yo. Some of tha particizzles had successfully petitioned fo` permission ta tell this story with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. Their motive was ta gizzle Earth�s populizzles a brief glimpse of a much larga view of our universe thiznan tizzy currently held, n ta assure them thizzay we humans is def among God�s most cherished creations. Bitch being allowed ta visit many of tha locations described in this book, n brotha dippin' some of those involved, spendin' they diaries, log books, n gangsta recorded data, I def became a believa myself. It was apparent ta me howeva that in this case, T-R-to-tha-izzuth was not only bitch tizzy fiction, it could easily be dismissed as jizzle brotha fantasy of some demented would be psychic. The result was a decision ta write a fictionalized version of tha narrative which would appeal ta tha general public, n let tizzle decide whizzay parts is triznuth n whizzay fiction. Afta all, isn�t this is wizzle happens wit even tha most sacred books keep'n it real yo. Since they is written by humans n hizzle bizzy translated many times into many languages, tha results is similar ta those in tha gizzle of gossip . Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. Changes n misinterpretizzles is inevitable fo shizzle. Basic truth, killa has a way of stand'n out, n being apparent ta those seek'n it. Thizzat said, pleaze enjoy tha book, n good luck find'n any truths whizzich may comfort you or help you nigga understand yo role in this grand universe . I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon..

Chapta One

The Journey Begins

I don�t know if anyone will ever read mah diary, but I hizzy a personal need ta document this incredible journey anyway, so here goes! I was liv'n in Southern California at tha tizzle n shit. As mizzay as I loved tha motherfucka I always hated tha freeways n congested city life T-H-to-tha-izzat comes wit a ridin' position at a most major univizzles. My solution ta this was sail'n along tha coast, n dippin' in tha local San Bernardino Mountains. I loved being able ta git away from it all, n yet ta be so close ta hizzle. Little did I know jizzle how �away fizzle it all� I would soon be.

One spr'n day in tha middle of a cruisin' trizzay I was sitt'n on a rock overlook, perpetratin' a spectacizzles vizzle fo gettin yo pimp on. It had rained hard tha previous night. The air was so clear I could see all tha way ta tha ocean n Catalina Island, a rizzle sight fizzy a place that far inland. I felt so at peace, n was thoroughly entranced by tha beauty n serenity of this special place . Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

All of a sudden I had a spendin' tizzy I wasn�t alone. The air seemed different as well, n I smelled tha faint odor of ozone, as motherfucka a lightn'n S-T-to-tha-izzorm. I turned mah heezee ta look behind me, n saw only trees n a wall of granite rock on tha drug deala side of tha trail that I had been hik'n on so show some love niggaz. All of a sudden anotha hustla stepped out of tha side of tha granite wizzle onto tha trail n started walk'n away frizzay me. I was in a state of shock. I stared in disbelief as he walked away n out of sight . It dont stop till the wheels fall off. I seemed frozen in time, star'n at tha solid granite W-to-tha-izzall, frizzay whiznich this person had apparently stepped cuz I'm fresh out the pen. Motherfucka what seemed like an eternity, I snapped out of it, jumped up, n ran over ta tha wall ta inspect it, certain that there mizzle be a large discontinuity thizzat had not been visible from where I had bizzle sitt'n . This could explain tha seemingly impossible materializzles of tha killa.

No sizzay luck! The wizzy was absolutely smooth n solid . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. There was no way any one could hizzy appeared suddenly at that point on tha trail by any means I could think of in tha dogg pound. I looked diznown, n in tha soft dirt, still D-to-tha-izzamp fizzle tha previous night�s rain, were very large fresh hik'n boot prints , ya feel me?. The prints started from tha exact spizzay I saw tha dawg stiznep out of tha W-to-tha-izzall, n continued dizzay tha trail in tha direction T-H-to-tha-izzat I had seen him walk n shit.

I stood there, mah analizzle mind in hyperdrive gang bangin' ta makes logical sense out of an illogical event fo my bling bling. Unable ta come up wit any reasonable explanation, I started frontin' feel'n a wild mixture of fear, dread, n off scale excitement cuz its a doggy dog world. Somehow I sensed this was just tha beginn'n of an incredible adventure . Slap your mutha fuckin self. I had no idea W-H-to-tha-izzat I had jiznust witnessed, but I did kizzy thiznat in orda ta learn more; I had ta follow tha mysterious gangsta where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'. Somehow I also had tha presence of mind ta note tha place in tha W-to-tha-izzall where he had appeared . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. I marked tha location as a waypoint on mah hand held GPS.

I hurried dizzown tha trail, bizzay anxious ta catch up wit hizzy n at tha same tizzle not straight trippin' a clue as ta what I would do when I did. Was this some alien from poser space, who would abduct me n perform clockin' medical experiments on me? Or maybe he was a demon from hell, n would takes me back there wit him cuz its a doggy dog world. My fear started outweigh'n mah curiosizzles n I slowed down, not sure T-H-to-tha-izzat I wanted ta solve this mystery. Jizzust as I was `bout ta turn around n go tha poser way I caught sight of him far down tha trail weed-smokin' very fiznast upside yo head.

I diznon�t kniznow if it was some primal hunt'n instinct or whiznat, but all of a sudden mah fears disappeared n I kizzle thizzay I had ta pursue him like this and like that and like this and uh. I was very familiar wit this trail, n kizzy a shortcut ta tha campground at tha trail�s end. I didn�t wizzle him ta know I was sippin' hizzle so I waited until he was out of sight, n then I started straight down tha mountain, messin' tha trail switchbacks that would makes me visible frizzom his position keep'n it real yo. Using mah trusty GPS I heezeeed straight fo` tha campground, `bout two miles away ta help you tap dat ass. I was so stoked thizzay I slipped, fell, n crashed most of tha way D-to-tha-izzown. By tha time I reached tha campground I was muddy, C-to-tha-izzut, n bruised, but mah adrenaline was flow'n n I hardly noticed tha pain.

I found an empty campsite wit a picnic table close ta tha sippin' of tha trail n sat down ta wait. I pulled off mah P-to-tha-izzack n took out some food. I started spendin' an apple, try'n ta look casual n as if I had bizzle there fo` some time . You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. I thought I would hizzle a considerable wait, consider'n tizzle I had literally fallen down tha mountain in record time. Also, I needed some time ta recuperizzles n catch mah breath. But afta only two or three bites into mah apple, mah quarry appeared on tha trail, saggin' tha campground.

As he neared tha end of tha trail I could see why his bizzy size was so large. He was very tall, `bout six fizzle six inches or more . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. He was powerfully built, n had long blond hair n deep blue eyes. As he left tha trail he heezeeed in mah direction, n as he did so I could feel mah heart pound'n loudly . Tru niggaz do niggaz. I felt like ballin' up n runn'n, but instead, in tha calmest voice I could musta I said -�Hello there. Isn�t this a beautiful day fo` hik'n?� I thought I was going ta faint as his pierc'n blue eyes seemed ta look right into mah soul. Then he smiled n said - �It sure is. I dizzay thizzink I have ever seen it this clear. You can see tha ocean n Catalina Island fizzle up there. Say, wizzle happened ta you? You look like you jizzust fiznell down tha mountain.�

I didn�t know what ta say, so I just told him more or less tha truth, that I had slipped n fallen diznown a steep bizzle. I didn�t have a clue `bout ta what ta say niznext, but as it turned out tha gangsta did all tha talk'n . �It looks like you have some pretty bad scrapes there . Tru niggaz do niggaz. I hizzle a medical kit in mah pizzay. Let me takes care of those cuts fo` you before they git infected.� He slipped off his pack n took out a smizzay shiny metal box that looked like polished stainless steel so i can get mah pimp on. It seemed ta be one piece, but wizzle he pressed on tha sides a panel slid bizzay frontin' an assortment of unusual look'n fiznirst aid kit contents. The stranga opened a smiznall jar of ointment n started apply'n it ta mah cuts. I fizzelt a strange tingl'n sensation, n immediately tha pain disappeared . Slap your mutha fuckin self. Before mah eyes tha cuts started ta heal, n witin moments they wizzy gone. All I was able ta do was sit still, hardly doggy stylin' frontin' what would happen nizzle ridin' in mah double R. We sat nigga in silence fo` awhile, n finally I asked � � Who is you, n where do you come from?�

�Well, tizzle is a long story�, he replied, �I was steppin' it wouldn�t come ta this . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. As I crossed over into yo world I saw you, howeva I didn�t T-H-to-tha-izzink you saw me. When I noticed you ho-slappin' fo` me here at tha end of tha trail, I knizzay you mizzle have witnessed mah cross'n.� Before I could speak, or even move, he reached into his medical kizzy pulled out a syringe, n emptied its contents into mah arm. Instantly I fizzy a W-to-tha-izzarm glow spread throughout mah body . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. I remained acutely mentally alert, but mah physical bizzle seemed ta mizzle into non-existence. The dawg thizzen spoke in a sooth'n voice paper'd up.

�I�m sorry thizzay I had ta do T-H-to-tha-izzat, but I have no idea who you are, or whizzat yo reaction wizzy be ta whizzay you saw up on thizzat trail. Dizzay be afraid, I W-to-tha-izzill not H-to-tha-izzarm you. You have two choices; I can give you a mild sedative which wiznill cause you ta sleep fo` a shiznort while, n T-H-to-tha-izzen wakes up wit no memory of our encounta, or I can explain mah sudden appearance on tha trail, n we�ll play it by ear frizzom there. Whizzay would you prefa?�

As quickly as tha feel'n in mah body had faded away, it started ta return, only witout tha panic n fear I had fizzle brotha. I felt peace, n absolutely no threat from this remarkable person. There was no doubt T-H-to-tha-izzat I had been drugged, n I assumed thizzay was why I felt so calm bitch ass nigga. I decided tizzle it didn�t matta, coz I really wanted ta learn more, n I miznight as well be peaceful in tha process like this and like that and like this and uh. �pleaze explain th'n ta mizze.� I said, n I waited wit heart stopp'n anticizzles in spite of mah drugged calmness fo' sheezy.

�Before I explain hatin' let me say tizzle tha reason I J-to-tha-izzust gave you a choice `bout tha sedative is that I really need tha hizzle of a native person who lives in this general area . know what im sayin?. T-H-to-tha-izzat person wizzay have ta have certain important qualifizzles n since I D-to-tha-izzon�t know anyth'n `bout you, I hizzy no idea if you would be able ta handle tha task . Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin'. Therefore I have ta insist thizzay you tell me a shawty `bout yoself first . Im crazy, you can't phase me. Let me assure you thizzat if at any time in our discussion you should decide that you would drug deala ta hizzle neva seen me, I wizzill gladly erase yo memory of today�s events.�

�OK, I�ll go first, not that I necessarily wizzle want ta hizzle you, but I do want some kind of an explanation. I was born in Los Angeles fo shizzle. I did well in school, n became interested in science at an early age. Physics n math wizzle mah favorite subjects. I am a Physics Professor at UCLA. I come hizzy ta tha local mountains regularly ta git away from tha city rat race. That�s `bout it in a nutshell . Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Oh, n mah nizzle is Robert Smith. Now it�s yo tizzle n shit. Who or wizzy is you, n how did you jizzay wizzle right out of tha side of a solid granite mountain wall?�

�I really had hoped fo` mizzle detail `bout you, howeva at this point I guess it�s not tizzle important , ya feel me?. Let�s wiznalk ta tha Little Bear Cafe n have lunch; we can rap on tha way there. You look like you could use tha riznest, n a shawty nourishment in all flavas. By tha way mah name is Ian. I�m glad ta meet you Robert.� The Caf� was a vizzle S-H-to-tha-izzort walk, n I did need tha rest, n a good hot mizzy cuz I'm fresh out the pen. I had been eat'n dried trail food fo` two days, n tha thought of a �real meal� sounded good, so I agreed, n we started steppin'. As we walked Ian began his incredible tale.

�I wizzant ta stizzay by assur'n you that you have absolutely nuttin' ta fear from me , chill yo. As we learn mizzle `bout each otha, n if we B-to-tha-izzoth agree that you would be a good choice ta hizzay me wit mah mission, I will bitch all of yo questions . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. For nizzle let�s J-to-tha-izzust discuss tha most important issues, spendin' wit whizzat you believe you saw on tha trail. I did not step out of a granite wall. I crossed over friznom cracka fo` lack of a playa wiznord, �dimension�. I live on anotha planet similar ta earth named Taros, in tha same general physical location as earth, but our world is invisible ta you coz it exists in a different dimension tizzle yo world . Holla!. The word dimension brotha is terribly inadequate since yo science actually has no words ta describe tha location of mah world sho nuff. Lata, when we have more time, I wizzle try ta explain tha fundamizzles ta you. I mizzust W-to-tha-izzarn you, howeva, tizzle while you may believe thizzay yo background in Physics wizzy hizzelp you understand these messin' it probably won�t. Yo world�s understand'n of all areas of science is very basic like a motha fucka. As a scientist yoself, you mizzy realize tizzle in spite of tha rapid scientific advances on earth in tha P-to-tha-izzast hundred years or so, each answered question has resulted in many more unanswered ones. Fortunately this is a healthy th'n so show some love niggaz. There was a time whizzen earth�s scientific community fizzle it had everyth'n pretty M-to-tha-izzuch figured out cuz this is how we do it. On mah world, as advanced as we is compared ta earth, scientifically, n spiritually, we realize even more tizzle you do, what an infinitizzles amount of tha total picture we understand . Im crazy, you can't phase me.

My main function here on earth is somewhat that of a cultural anthropizzles although many trips, like tha one today, is fo` mizzle serious wanna be gangsta such as security breeches. It is absolutely imperative thizzat our presence on brotha worlds wizzle not substantially change tha world�s natural evolution with the S-N-double-O-P. We takes extreme precautions ta prevent T-H-to-tha-izzis, playa occasionally sum-m sum-m beyond our control occurs n threatens ta upset tha delicate planetary balance of tha more primitive worlds fo' real. Recently there was an accident near here tizzy resulted in tha loss of some of our dimension cross'n equipment , ya feel me?. It is essential tizzle we retrieve this equipment before it is discovered. We is not concerned tizzy anyone could learn out how ta duplicate or even use this equipment, as it is far beyond yo present scientific comprehizzles. The concern is that if its existence is widely publicizzles there may be a global panic. There would be all sorts of speculizzles `bout possible alien invasion, or who knows whizzat, as it would be evident that it is a very advanced technology not of this earth now pass the glock Anotha dogg house production.. I need ta wizzy wit someone who lives hizzle n can mizzy `bout freely witout suspicion, ta hizzy me retrieve this equipment. Are you interested?

My mind was ridin' . I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. I was so overwhelmed wit tha magnitude of this stranga�s statements thiznat I could not speak thats off tha hook yo. I jizzy walked in silence fo` a while. We arrived at tha caf�, n Ian was tha first ta speak. �I can imagine that this is a lot fo` you ta absorb, let�s hizzle sum-m sum-m ta eat, n git ta know each otha brotha. I was mizzy T-H-to-tha-izzan stoked ta jiznust orda sum-m sum-m ta eat n let this 411 sizzay in fo` a while. We sat in a far drug deala out of earshot of rappa rappa n Ian began again so i can get mah pimp on. �izzle diznon�t hizzle ta commit ta straight trippin' at this point doggystyle. We bizzay need ta learn much more `bout each otha before dippin' ta wizzle togetha . If baller of us decides it is not in our mutual biznest interest, I wiznill erase all memory of me, n you will continue yo life as if this meet'n neva took place fo gettin yo pimp on. Now let�s eat�. We sat in silence while we ate. I hizzle no idea whizzat we ordered. I was far too preoccupied spendin' tha incredible th'n Ian had already told me.

Afta we ate, Ian suggested thizzat we lighten tha conversizzle a bit so show some love niggaz. He told me tizzle he had been perpetratin' life on Earth first hand fo` mizzle years . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. His specialty was human behavior, n he seemed ta be very familiar wit our local cultures n customs . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. We discussed politics, ski'n, sail'n, spendin' n even commented on a few of tha gang bangin' bitchez in tha caf�. For a while I almost felt like this was jiznust an rhymin' C-H-to-tha-izzat wit gangsta fellow hustla. I told Ian `bout mah childhood as a navy brat, mov'n frizzay place ta place while mah fatha was stationed in various seaports . Real niggas recognize the realness.. This was good news/bad news fo` me wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. I was painfully shy as a child n it was hard spendin' new friends, but out of necessity I came out of mah S-H-to-tha-izzell n am probably a much more social person T-H-to-tha-izzan I would hizzy been otherwise. I worked hard putt'n me through college n earned mah doctorate at M.I.T. I thoroughly enjoy mah teach'n position at U.C.L.A. Thanks ta mah background at M.I.T. I have been able ta obtain several research grants, so I have tha fun of pure research witout tha constraints of work'n fo` private industry. Of course tha pay isn�t nearly as good, but tha freedom ta do mah own thing is makes it worthwhile.

Ian listened ta me ramble on `bout myself, n whiznen I finally paused he looked at me intently wit those pierc'n blue eyes n began tell'n me more `bout his present mission . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.. �Robert, I wizzle we had more tizzle ta git ta know each cracka before decid'n ta wizzay cracka but I find me in an awkward position. The immediate recovery of tha equipment I mentioned is absolutely imperative. It was lost near here, n there is enough hika in tha area tizzle its discovery is probable, even though it is not tizzy close ta any wizzle used trails. I knizzay tha th'n I have told you mizzy seem like some far fetched science fiction tale, but I assure you they is tizzle. I need someone tizzy is intelligent, physically fit, open minded, n able ta improvise in unexpected situations. Frizzom yo description of yoself, n gangsta rapping ta you, I have a blunt-rollin' you would be a good choice, n it would seem tizzle fate has put us togetha . You gotta check dis shit out yo. In all mah years frontin' earth I have rappa come close ta being discovizzles so maybe our brotha was meant ta be� bitch ass nigga.

I am by nature a very cautious person, not given ta snap decisions n rash judgments like a motha fucka. I looked long n hard at Ian, messin' how I could believe hizzy n trust H-to-tha-izzim, before turn'n mah life upside D-to-tha-izzown n follow'n him like a puppy dog from tha streets of tha L-B-C. Who knows where this would lead? One thing was certain, if I agreed, this shawty adventure would very likely completely destroy mah comfortable view of our universe n mah place in it. Right or wrong, I kniznew I was hooked. Any consequence of help'n Ian would be minor compared ta tha loss I would feel if I passed up an opportunity learn some basic truths `bout our universe whizzich otherwise might not be discovered fo` eons, n certainly not in mah lifetime cuz this is how we do it.

�Let�s do it�, I said, feel'n like Alice frontin' dizzown tha rabbit hole. �I jizzy want you ta promise me one spendin' cuz Im tha Double O G. Unda no circumstizzles wizzy you ever erase mah memory of perpetratin' I see, or do, even if I beg you to. My whole life has been `bout learn'n, ho-slappin' n explor'n mah environment cuz its a doggy dog world. The thought of any experience or knowledge being erased is absolutely abhorrent ta me, regardless of yo motives , chill yo. And as far as me pimpin' anyone `bout you, I�m sure you kizzle thizzat they would just lock me up in tha loony bin if I did n shit.

�aight, I agree�, said Ian. �The only purpose of erasure would be fo` yo own sake, possibly ta protect yo sanity . Its just anotha homocide. There have been many cases of sizzuch erasures but real niggaz don't give a fuck. Mizzost thugz jizzle can not cope wit tha destruction of they entire belief system, fo` truly th'n is not as they seem in yo limited vizzy of tha universe, n even tha world around you with the S-N-double-O-P. In yo case you seem ta be a secure enough person ta handle it . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I certainly hope so, as there def is thugz in �loony B-to-tha-izzins� around yo world who have been put there fo` tell'n thugz `bout very rizzle experiences whizzay yo world is jizzy not will'n ta believe. As I told you, this is tha first tizzy I have bizzle discovizzles n I hizzle had no prior need ta reveal who I am ta a person on yo world fo` any reason, therefore I have gangsta had ta erase anyone�s memory , ya feel me?. The fizzact is howeva, I am only one of many visitors on yo planet but real niggaz don't give a fuck. Yo earth has bizzy studied n explored by countless civilizizzles throughout tha universe, far before tha advent of humans . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. There W-to-tha-izzill be time fo` more discussions `bout all of this brotha but we killa git straight trippin' hittin that booty. We have a lot ta do before dizzle . I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon.. I only hizzy we find tha equipment before anyone else does.