Actual quotes taken from employee performance evaluations:
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not much of a has-been; more of a definite
won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and sooner he starts, the better.
11. Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together.
12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn't suffer from depression, but he's a carrier.
14. He's been working with glue too much.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
18. She has a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
22. He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
26. It's hard to believe he beat the other 1,000,000 sperm.
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; she only gargled.
29. It takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Found a couple of bullets today. As usual, middle of woods, middle of nowhere, not even my county. Im doing a bit of research into where theyre from. They arent shotgun cases, more rifle bullets, like you'd find on a 2ww site Anyway they have the letters K66 on the top edge and L9Z on the bottom edge of the end. Also found 1 x 50p, 2 x 2p, 1 x old 10p, 1 x crap thing, 1 x remains of some sort of container.
Update: Turns out they are Koschler Batch No. L9Z made in 1966, probably some groover showing off to his girlfriend.
Woods a few miles from home
1942 threpenny bit.
Axe head (unknown date. Could anyone date it by its shape?)
Toy Tractor (broken, damn i wanted that)
2p
Small tent pole
nail crusted with 1" of crud (could anyone date a nail by its appearance?)
Unidentified peice of scrap
Whittling knife (again could it be dated by its style?)
Went to Cleethorpes, not a short journey when you live in Sheffield. Grand total for the day; 7 pence. Loadsa ringpulls, nails and shotgun cartridge butts. I dug down 3 foot with a family watching me. Eventually, all except the dad got bored and wandered off. The target was still in the hole, i widened the hole to about 2ft and got the head in, still there. Frightened the crap out of the guy when i suggested it could be an unexploded bomb. Eventually uncovered it. It was a spade. Still complete but the metal folded in half. And the guys reaction? "Guess i dont have to get my camera after all"
