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| Tremor Tales page 27 |
| Vitamins Are Good Yeah, vitamins are good. Too bad they can't fix The mutated chromosome that's got me twixt Steadiness and shaking attacks. But nice of you to think to sell me a pack. What? They will? Okay, then I'll buy one. That should be enough to fix that chromosome. Four weeks and you're back. What's wrong, you look scared? No. Well I tell you, those vitamins repaired My mutated chromosome perfectly. No more shake attacks. They made my skin scaly, And my teeth like razors, but here's more dollars... What? Forget you were ever here? Don't holler, It's making me hungry. Don't run from me! Why're you climbing that stupid tree? Eat you? Yuck, no. I'm not suicidal. Huh? A month without 'em will rid me of all Their effects? Lucky for you. You're stuck up there? Don't sell anymore vitamins, swear? Good, then I'll help you down from that tree... When I'm back to pre-vitamin me. |
| Vitamins Are Good II Once the vitamins were out of my system, My skin went back to normal from scaly. My teeth edges were dull again And my chromosome back to mutated in me. I researched the vitamins that me had undone And found them pellet snacks for crocodiles. Holy cow! No wonder I almost became one. This got me studying closely the vile Looking croc placed recently in the zoo. It looked close to human, sharp teeth, scaly skin. When I knelt near, it scooted out of view. Auk, it was the guy who sold me the vitamins. "Ran out of customers, didn't you!" I yelled. "And when out of money for food you ate Your phony vitamins. Um, yum. Do tell, How do you like your life of late?" He roared like a sick croc and whipped around To shove his snout into a pile of dirt dusted Pellets--his "vitamins" piled high in a mound. And off I strode, encouraged that life is just. |
| Tuning Fork Stressed The neurologist, eyes wide and dark, Stared into my face. Then, in a flash, He struck me between the eyes with a tuning fork. "Why are you crying, my head, my head," he asked. "Oh, I don't know. Cuz you clobbered it?!" "Hmmm, stressed. That shows I made the right call. Your dystonia tremor is a stress caused fit." No!" I snapped. "Oh yes. It's all emotional." "You're a crackpot!" I shrieked, livid, and left. I soon found two doctors who saw my tremor Truly a disease and would treat me for it. I returned to the crackpot to tell of their care And found him bopping his forehead With the tuning fork and muttering, "No stress. No stress, no dystonia tremor as I said. I was correct in my diagnosis." His nurse spotted me and she said, "He's been Bopping his head since you left." She put Him to sleep with a tranquilizer injection, Then hid the fork in a Dystonia book, A book we both knew he'd not likely open. |
| This Itch! This Itch! Oh man, oh man, oh man, I'm such a mess. I got this itch I can't reach on my back. Got to scratch or go mad from itchiness. But where's my scratcher? Gotta find it fast. I've dragged myself all over looking for it And no luck. This itch! This itch! It won't quit! My mind is going, it's almost gone I just know. Must phone my darling, my obliging beau. Honey, I knew you'd come you're so gallant. I've got this terrible itch I can't reach. Please, use your neurological talent To take it from me, your thankful peach. That's it. That's the right spot. Cup your hand and let your fingernails Do their thing. Ahhh, that feels good. Thanks a lot. At last, the itch is gone, so too madness ails. You feared my love would end cuz you tremor, But it won't, why it even brought us closer When your vibrating nails scratched my itch. Wow, I can't wait for us to get hitched. |
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| Jiggly Vision "Like my new blouse?" my date asked. "I bought it cuz its black and white stripes Do so well my thinness mask." I couldn't answer, so taken aback was I By the jiggling of those stripes that I feared To mention it, it was just too weird. "Uh, yes I like it, the stripes make it come alive." "Oh they do, don't they. Lets drive Around town so I can show it off." "No! Look, the stripes are moving on their own!" "What? Good grief, is your sanity lost? You've been watching too much Twilight Zone." "Oh sure, blame it on that." "Well then back up And look again. Still jiggling?" "No, so what? Ohhh, I get it, you're saying the E T In my eyes worsened by peering closely. So no jiggly stripes, just jiggly vision. Hmmm, what a great plot for Twilight Zone. Need more ideas though. Let me look closer. Okay, okay! I'll use binoculars!" |
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