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| Tremor Tales page 32 |
| She Loves Wearing It "You want to break up, that's for sure." "What?! Why do you think that?" "You can't fool me, I see your finger. I paid big bucks for that ring, broke me flat." "My ring finger? Just what is it doing?" "For weeks you've been jiggling it In an attempt to lose your promise ring. You want to break up, don't be a sneak Say so." "Oh honey, that's no jiggle, That's my essential tremor shaking it. The weight of the diamond puts big ole Stress on the tremor, gives it a fit." "Well I sure am glad I was wrong. Hon, Would you mind if we trade it in for one Much cheaper? Oh yeah, and one that weighs less? It'd benefit us both." "Wouldn't mind...I guess." The man now has funds back in his account, And his love has a plastic ring so light Her finger tremors not any amount. She loves wearing it--in the dark of night. |
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| Out Of The Storm Four miles of walking along And no leg tremor, not a trace Till I stopped, and wow they came out strong. Oh man, two long blocks yet to my office. So tired. Better thumb a ride for the rest of the trip. Hurry up someone, stop, give me a lift. Ahhh, one at last. "Thanks, sir, for stopping. You didn't want me caught in the coming storm? You could tell one's coming by the wind whipping My slacks? Oh that. My legs shake. It's the norm When you have orthostatic leg tremor. As far as I know, there's no storm coming." The guy chuckled, "So that's your posture?" "Oh yes sir." And rain started pouring. "What's that about shaking legs being the norm?" "Oh nothing. Sure great to be out of the storm." |
| Kidding I'm Not "I see you've stopped shaking your head no To everything I request," said my wife. "Yes, thought I'd be open to them, more so." I didn't tell her that two weeks ago my life Began a change when I received botox shots In my neck to stop my no-no head tremor. From our first meeting, I determined to not Let my essential tremor be known to her, And this began a rift between us. Thus the botox shots. Trouble is, whew! I can't shake my head no! And look a wuss When I say no without no-noing too. And she takes my every no as yes When she throws out her many requests. Finally, I tell her of the botox shots And she says, "Well gee, hon, thanks alot, You couldn't have told me before?" Every three months I still get botox shots, But now we have improved rapport, When I say no, she knows kidding I'm not. |
| Fencing Lessons "Grab it!" my dentist exclaimed. "I can't!" Said his assistant. "It's too slippery." "Her tongue is whipping like a fencing champ On crack," griped my dentist. "Quick, parry It with a tongue depressor." She did and I, With essential tremoring tongue held still, Gagged all the way through the repair of my Teeth. This so upset my dentist's will To work, next day he took his assistant To tongue depressor fencing lessons. No more would she gag this patient For she learned to parry with precision. But I, too, was there, learning to fence Defensively with my tongue and jaws. Seeing this, my dentist swore that hence He'd have his assitant use gauze. |
| Aiming That Stills "L!" the marshal hissed. "Get over here." Sir!" his deputy hissed back. "L? Why? He can't hit the convict, not even near." "Quiet, He's got good aim with his eyes." L scooted behind the marshal's tree And knelt beside him, his rifle held Tightly in his trembling hands. "He's Got to be put out of commission, L. If he escapes from that cabin He'll rob and injure more victims. I've seen you straight on hit a target With rifle steady as a rock. I need you to do it again. Down him!" L figured a straight line to the escaped Convict and concentrated his rifle aim On the convict's shadowed shape Standing inside the cabin's front window, And steadiness in his arms and hands Took him over. "No problem, will do." His shot downed the convict as planned. "I knew you could do it," the marshal said. "Aiming always stills my tremor, sir." And teasing, L aimed at the deputy's head. (Of course he didn't pull the trigger.) |
| Secret Code I was at the self-checkout counter Electronically punching in my Personal identification number To pay for my groceries, fingers awry With tremor and jumping 'round the symbols, When three FBI agents rushed up to me, Grabbed me by the arm and hauled Me into their car. "Okay, sir, quickly Tell how it is you know the Bureau's Secretly kept emergency code To the President?" "Say what?! Whoa, It sure isn't something I would know." "Yeah...what were your plans in sending it?" "None! I mean I didn't! My fingers are shaky. They punched out a whole mess of digits On the electronic payment doohicky." Well, it took a lot of convincing and proof, But at last they saw the tremor caused truth. To compensate for troubling me, They paid for a years worth of groceries. |
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