| The Maitre d' "Oh, oh," I groaned to myself. "They'll see My tremor when I eat." So, pointing To the ceiling I said, "Look! A spider! Eee!" They all looked and missed my shaking As I scooped up spoonfuls of soup. "There's no spider, you silly dope," Harrumphed my puzzled date. "No? Could've sworn I saw one, mate." Still hungry, I motioned to the maitre d' To come over and give us a table less small, Thinking a large one would better help me To hide my tremor from all. "I'll set up a new table," he said helpfully, If you promise to stop hiding your E T. I take it that they are all your friends, So why would they care that you are shaky?" His good sense reached me deep within And I said, "You're right, I'll trust that they Have no care if I tremor while I eat messily." And they didn't. So to him, "Thankyou," I did say, "You've given me release from what plagued me." |
| Tremor Tales page 36 |
| Big Head A weird thing happened over the months I boasted, Man, I'm the greatest! There's no one as intelligent, As talented. Why, I'm the handsomest Man you'll find. All said in an effort To build my esteem, as my tremor Doctor had prescribed. And all court From strangers was lost. Bummer. My friends called me big head For the boasting that healed my want To hide the shaking I did sorely dread. In time, stunned, they stopped their taunts. "What's wrong, friends?" I asked, and in a mirror I saw the answer. My noggin had swelled From all that boasting! But I filled with cheer, The swelling had stopped its tremoring dead. I still boast, as prescribed by my doctor, And Big Head's now my welcome moniker. |
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| The Would-be Bomber I'll tell you a story that was told to me About the would-be bomber who had E T. Essential tremor it was in this good man Who put together an explosive plan To get a pay raise where he worked in haste. He snipped from newsprint words he did paste Into a note telling the boss, "Me, you don't know, But if you don't pay your workers more dough I'll bomb you sky-high!" If you've listened closely To my story, you know that a man shaky Would likely blow himself up, so he chose to drop Only the note into the company mailbox And forget building a bomb. But this action So worried him, he loaded up with fear when The next day the boss headed straight for him Waving the note, his lips in a chilling grin. "You crazy joker! Thanks for making my day. You knew that I'd know that the jagged way The words were cut were cut by you whom shakes. Also, for showing you have the guts it takes To get a raise, you have it." And the would-be bomber fainted. |
| Supermarket Mall Took my tremor med, drove to the mall. Thinking went foggy like I can't recall. In the supermarket, knocked food off shelves, Staggered around seeing cute little elves. Thought, This isn't right I've got to exit, If I can find my way out of this market. I squinted and squinted to see where to get out, But when I did I could only knock about. Finally a clerk came and put me in a cart And wheeled me to the lot outside the mart. Got in my car, couldn't find the starter, And fell asleep as I looked harder. When I woke, my tremor was back, And the fog in my head was gone at last. Home I did drive, no groceries bought, And off went my wife to shop as she ought. Hey, she knew help from the med was iffy, And she doesn't think me a chauvenist piggy. She loves me as I am, tremor and all, But won't let me shop anymore at the mall. |
| Pterodactyl My binoculars shook so badly Everything I peered at through them Was maddenly blurred. Having shaky Hands was really messing up my plan To be the first in the group that would Spot a pterodactyl rumored to be living Around the mesa on which we stood. "Holy cow, man!" a guy yelled at me, chortling. "You're gonna fall apart, you're so scared. Why don't you hide behind that rise?" I wanted to punch the guy, but just glared At him and he jerked his binocs to his eyes. Suddenly, a sharp squawk, loud, frightening, Came from behind, overhead. All but I Dropped flat as a pterodactyl like lightning Swooped round us and vanished on the fly So quickly the others missed a look. They all chose to avoid the 'dactyl in fear And raced down the mesa with no sighting proof. But I, binocular stabilizer With camera switched on, had it photograped. It hasn't been seen by anyone again And my photos earned me a fortune. No gaff Of tremors matter when you prepare for them. |
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