My Letter to Ari
Written the day after he died and read as part of his eulogy.
Friday, April 23, 1999
Dear Pooh Bear,
It's been only about 12 hours since you left, but it feels like an eternity already. You were such a special person; we all miss you terribly. Meeting you was the best thing that ever could have happened to me; you changed my life around so much for the better. You were the one who made me feel more confident in myself and the first person who saw who I really am. You were a constant ray of sunshine to me. As you know, my love for you is so strong that I've never been able to put it into words. Everyday, while at work, I'd keep looking at the clock to see how much longer until I'd see you in the evening. Our time together was the happiest year I've ever had.
I hope you know that I was with you last night the whole time. We all know how incredibly happy you were this past year; your whole life had changed around and everyone who knows you is so proud of you. I don't think you ever met anyone who could say you weren't a great person, you had a very special gift. I consider myself the luckiest person around to have been the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
Believe it or not, I knew the first time I ever saw you that I loved you. There was always something so magical about your personality. I truly believe you were my soul mate. I know that where you are right now you're happy, and that you won't feel any more pain. It helps knowing that you were asleep and did not know what happened to you. I was there with you last night, holding your hand, and I always will be. We all will always be with you.
I don't know why this had to happen to the most wonderful person I ever met; I keep feeling like I'm having one of my nightmares again. When I got home last night, I watched "The Wedding Singer" remembering how you hated me watching that movie every night since you were sick of it. I remember you telling me that as soon as I get sick of it, you were going to play it to get back at me.
I don't want you to worry about me; I'll be fine. All our friends and family are here with me to support me. I will make you so proud of me, I know I'll get through this somehow, although I don't know how. I will make it through this because I know that's what you'd want me to. You know I'll always do anything for you to make you happy as you made me happy.
Love, Shnookums J
December 9, 1998
The Proposal