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and so i find myself being dragged, kicking and screaming into adulthood.  it's weird because now i know why my parents didn't buy me toys or other nonessentials when i was a wee lad just on a whim.  life has revealed itself as survival.  sustanence.  the challenge then is to make sense of it all.  to live ones life, not just to be there in it.  the meaning of life?  who knows.  get back to me on that.   sometimes i think i'm much too young to be thinking of these sorts of things....but i don't know.  maybe everyone else is too old and can't deal with the question anymore.
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