HEY YOU! Click the Black Square to STOP the barking!
My name is Samson Beauregard Tardo.... better known as Sammy. And I just happen to be the cutest, sweetest, smartest, most handsome Basset in the entire world.
I need HELP! Listen, I've been eavesdropping on my Mom... I keep hearing her talk about Bulls. What's a bull? A Bully? I knew a bully once, she kept trying to beat up on me. Is a bully moving in here with ME!? If you know anything at all, pleeeeease tell ME! OK PEOPLE - NOW I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! A Bully is an English Bulldog! And guess what... last night one walked right into MY house! And jumped on MY couch! And she's sitting on my mom's lap. Something is WRONG with this picture. Actually, she's not too bad! She chases me around the house, and wants to play with me. And the coolest thing is - I can look right into her eyes!! Not looking UP at her, like I do everyone else - but we are the same height! Once I train her how to stay off MY spots in the house, things will be better - but honestly, she's kind cool already.
I get away with murder at my house. OK, well, maybe I have my moments. But all I have to do is hang my head, let my ears droop more than usual, and look up with my saddest, most PATHETIC look... and everyone within a 10 foot radius is MUSH. Humans... they are SO simple-minded. I've got to be the most spoiled rotten dog on the face of the earth. This is THE LIFE. My mom, Lisa, is crazy about me. It's sickening! For the most part, Lisa & Jessica are pretty much Basset trained - but they still have *quite* a few things to learn. Scott, on the other hand, doesn't put up with ANYTHING. If he even looks at me sideways - I take off and hide. I can't get anything over on that guy! He doesn't even fall for "THE LOOK". And that LITTLE kid - the mini one - you know, John? He pulls on my ears, my fur and skin, and even my tail. He still goobers all over me - I have snot and spit all over me!! That's ok though - cauz BOY does he drop lots of food. And he lets me sleep with him sometimes, but he kicks at lot in his sleep!! He sure does love to hug me ... but sometimes I can't breathe - he loves a little too long, if you know what I mean. OK - he can stay. These humans are kinda dumb.. it's really hard to make them understand anything I try to teach them. Oh well, I'll just keep peeing and pooping whenever they don't listen. That little trick of mine CERTAINLY seems to get their full attention!! Although I sure don't like the ummm, disciplining, I get after pulling those little stunts. I also get in trouble for stealing dirty clothes, and eating out of the garbage (which I carefully toss all over the kitchen floor before dining). Of course, eating those old HORSE TRINKETS in our old yard was also called GROSS in my house, but MMMMMMMM are they DEE-licious! Great breath afterwards, too. And Mom just LOVES it when she hears the click-click-click of my long toenails on the KITCHEN TABLE. Yup, I jump up on the chair, then onto the table. That way - I can see right over the gate that is supposed to keep me in the kitchen. Or, I could jump up on the kitchen counter. She LOVES the wet paw prints I leave behind!
Visit LUCY the English Bulldog here, KINDA CUTE, isn't she?
Nothing much else is new to report. This new house (been here a little less than a year) is STILL not done. No fence yet in the yard, but boy are they making a mess out there. Now my hilly yard is flat in two places, and they're putting up a big rock wall in the front. I guess it'll be cool when they're done, cauz I hear I've have my own special spot to run around in without a leash.
Oh, and that little baby thing they brought home a few years ago isn't so little anymore. He STILL leaves me those yummy treats in the garbage tho - chocolatey filled underwear-looking things! Mmmmm do they smell GREAT! I can smell them no matter where I am in the house sometimes. Mom still freaks tho - says ewwwww and calls me bad-dog when she catches me trying to knock the garbage over. Hey, will she ever learn - if it's counter-level or below - it's MINE! Dirty trick though - locking up the garbage pail so I can't get at it - NOT nice.
What else... oh yeah, remember those REALLY tall dogs that used to live with us in the backyard of our old house? They called them horses sometimes? Well, I hear that they went to live with a really cool family just a few miles away. Their daughter needs riding therapy, whatever that means, and I hear that "the boys" are now living in the lap of luxury with LOTS of land and room to roam. Mom and dad sure seem kinda bummed out tho - I think they miss them a lot. They said that once we buy another house with land again, they'll come live with us again. I kinda miss them too, I guess.
(How humiliating)
I can't stand this weather, either - WAY too much wet stuff coming down out of the sky lately. Like many of my fellow Bassets - I don't like getting my tootsies wet or cold. I take one look outside through the open door and say NO WAY... and hightail it back to the couch where it's WARM and DRY. Never works though, someone always picks me up and brings me outside anyway. I learned how to 'pee on the run'... a couple of steps and I'm ready to go!
I'm also famous for knocking things over with my tail. I may be short - but my tall tail is always getting me into trouble. One time I was walking by the cocktail table and I hit a McDonalds "Super-Size" Diet Coke with my tail. F-U-L-L. It landed upside down and went ALL over the rug ... never saw someone move so fast. And WHILE they were on their hands and knees, I saw the yummy hamburgers they left, for me of course, on the cocktail table. I gobbled them up in a split second. WHOA - I ended up outside on my run sooooo quick... and my mom was talking another language - words my ears have never heard before. Rhymes with DUCK... that much I know! I would have saved her a little IF she gave me a chance! It's ok, I got even. When she let me back in the house - I was kinda thirsty. Took a loooong drink of water, and *PRESTO* - - with a couple of head shakes, I covered EVERYTHING in water and slobber... that's just the kind of guy I am! She was wipin' slobber from the TV screen, the entertainment center, everything!! And, wouldn't ya know - I heard those words again!
Here's a quote my fellow Basset Hounds would understand:
It stinks to have such SHORT legs and such HIGH expectations!
Here are some pics of GORGEOUS me...
MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE MAIN PAGE and UPDATES PAGE for loads more pictures. Mom RARELY ever gets to update these pages tho - way too busy, well, being Mom!
The cutie-pie sitting next to me on the couch is Jessica. (Sure - she LOOKS all sweet, right? Well - lemme tell you - looks are NOT everything!) Sorry these aren't the greatest pictures - I think Lisa may be a little scanner-illiterate! Better (and more recent) photos are found on the other two pages mentioned above!
Well... what else can I say about WONDERFUL ME?
Belly rubs;
stealing Jessica's clothes & making her chase me around the house;
going thru the garbage looking for something good;
F-O-O-D;
my 4-legged buddies Samantha (who now lives with grandma & pop-pop), Shadow (my cousin), Rio & Chance (tall dogs that they call horses;
watching over the John & making sure his crumbs never go to waste;
rides in the car (even though I WHINE the whole time);
eating choco filled diapers;
long walks in the woods;
McDonalds burgers & fries;
huge rawhide bones;
when mom comes home;
FOOD!! Yum;
tennis balls;
sleeping on the bed with Jess (feet straight up in the air);
bugging Samantha;
eating horse POOP;
waking up Mom by shoving a cold nose in her face;
waking up Jessica by pulling her hair with my teeth;
stealing slurps of coffee from Lisa in the morning - those Lids were made for Licking!;
running around the house "a gazillion MPH", a/k/a "crazy dog";
FOOD!!!!!;
staring at the birds outside;
staring at the bird INSIDE - you know, Harley - the nasty macaw;
sitting on the back of the couch staring out the window;
putting dog snot on the windows;
and oh, and did I mention FOOD?
**BATHS**...
Harley the macaw trying to grab my tail thru the cage bars;
Chick Peas... yuck; rain and snow...
Getting my feet wet!!
Do YOU have a Basset like me? Are we the COOLEST, or what??
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LISA & (of course) SAMMY, The Wonderhound are proud members of
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1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's YOURS.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you're gone.
- Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs admit when they're jealous.
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs do not play games with you- - except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
- You can train a dog.
- Dogs are easy to buy for.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the worst disease you really can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
- Dogs understand what "no" means.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:
10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.
It's on the MAIN PAGE!!!
But the pages are probably OUTDATED! Sorry.
Click here to Visit The Roosters Shop - our Antiques Shop ... 
Click here to VISIT Lucy the Bulldog! ...
Click here to Check out the LINKS PAGE ...
food-slave to visit! 
This page is always under construction & needs LOTS of work. We're workin' on it!!
More pictures of ME will be coming real soon! Check out the main page - there's more of ME to love there!!
SEARCH THE WEB.. right from here!!
