You're a stoner if... ...you could find enough bud to smoke scattered around in your car. You're a stoner if... ...you have lit up a fat blunt by yourself. You're a stoner if... ...you have named your boat, business, pet or child after anything dealing with marijuana. You're a stoner if... ...you have a website dealing with Weed.( damn I am a stoner then! ) You're a stoner if... ...you have resorted to smoking a fat ball of resin to get high when you are out of herb. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke all the weed you can right now and not think about later. You're a stoner if... ...you'd call the weedman and ask for a sack up front and ask to pay later. You're a stoner if... ...you get high with anybody and everybody. You're a stoner if... ...you laugh at stupid stuff even when you aren't stoned. You're a stoner if... ...you have a pot leaf tattooed on your ankle. You're a stoner if... ...you starve all week at work because you spent all your money on herb. You're a stoner if... ...most of your electric bill is from powering your Hydroponics Set-up. You're a stoner if... ...you wake, smoke, shower, smoke, eat, smoke, work, smoke, smoke, smoke. You're a stoner if... ...you get red-eyed even when you aren't smoking. You're a stoner if... ...you pick a fight in a club and by the time you get outside you forgot why you were going to fight. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke a bowl before you eat, just so it will taste better. You're a stoner if... ...you carry a bong in your school bag. You're a stoner if... ...you can't remember if you just smoked or not. You're a stoner if... ...If you have a thick coat of resin forming on the inside of your car. You're a stoner if... ...you wear moccasins everywhere, including school. You're a stoner if... ...you spend more money per month on weed than rent. You're a stoner if... ...you've lost weight since you started smoking. You're a stoner if... ...you go through a bottle of Visine in an hour. You're a stoner if... ...when visiting relatives, you plot out the best place to get high and not get caught. You're a stoner if... ...you wonder whether or not you are a stoner. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke a J within a half hour of you getting up. You're a stoner if... ...absolutely any food appeals to you when you are high, and must be consumed in large quantities. You're a stoner if... ...if you can make a pipe from just about anything lying around your house. You're a stoner if... ...you can call more than 3 pipes yours. You're a stoner if... ...all the faucet screens in your house are gone. You're a stoner if... ...you try to analyze if everyone is a stoner or not. You're a stoner if... ...you carry an air freshener with you at all times. You're a stoner if... ...you are paranoid even when you aren't stoned. You're a stoner if... ...you are late to appointments because you were smoking. You're a stoner if... ...you support the legalization of Marijuana. You're a stoner if... ...you sit in your car with your pals and fish bowl it until you can't see out of it, then go driving just for fun. You're a stoner if... ...you've ever lost 2 or more pipes by cashing them out a car window of a moving vehicle. You're a stoner if... ...nobody questions the inch thick glaze on your eyes, because it is normal. You're a stoner if... ...you've ever walked into a store with a J in your ear. You're a stoner if... ...you've pulled out a pocketful of change and a couple of roaches fall out too. You're a stoner if... ...you pack a bowl when you are stoned and forget to smoke it. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever smoked an entire bowl with a pack of matches. You're a stoner if... ...cartoon pizza makes you hungry when you are stoned. You're a stoner if... ...you go to your favorite gas station and they throw down a pack of zags without you asking. You're a stoner if... ...you try to get your cat to smoke. You're a stoner if... ...you leave your house to get food but end up smoking instead. You're a stoner if... ...you try to hit your pipe backwards. You're a stoner if... ...you go to school high not high school. You're a stoner if... ...you study books on joint rolling instead of your school books. You're a stoner if... ...you forget what it is like being sober. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke a 2 - g joint for wake-and-bake. You're a stoner if... ...you have permanent munchies from smoking too much. You're a stoner if... ...you think April 20th should be a national holiday. You're a stoner if... ...you have dropped a Joint in the principal's office on the floor. You're a stoner if... ...you buy a bag, then forget where you put it and loose it. You're a stoner if... ...you only leave your domain to get the bare essentials. You're a stoner if... ...your day consists of nothing but smoking green. You're a stoner if... ...you go over to your girl's house and steal money to buy a bag. You're a stoner if... ...you pay for weed in change. You're a stoner if... ...you look in the fridge and see nothing but then 20 minutes later you go back to look again. You're a stoner if... ...you have smoked yourself sober before. You're a stoner if... ...when you are out of weed you run frantically around the houses collecting old, dirty roaches, then you crush them up in a bowl and smoke it. You're a stoner if... ...you use Weed for lettuce. You're a stoner if... ...you would rather smoke a blunt than get Oral Sex. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever gotten a bag of Weed in your Christmas stocking. You're a stoner if... ...you pull a chair up to the fridge when you get the Munchies. You're a stoner if... ...you request a second bag on credit before you finish the first one. You're a stoner if... ...you go to the store to but food and leave it in the car then 20 minutes later you go back to the store to buy more. You're a stoner if... ...you buy Papers at Costco. You're a stoner if... ...you're so desperate to smoke that you sneak out and fishbowl your dog's "Lil Igloo" in the backyard. You're a stoner if... ...your idea of a classic movie is " Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke". You're a stoner if... ...you can roll a J while driving. You're a stoner if... ...your school books smell like Herb. You're a stoner if... ...your dog waits at the door for you to get home so it can get smoked out. You're a stoner if... ...you sit in class and read "Stoner If's" instead of class work. You're a stoner if... ...you dream about Pot. You're a stoner if... ...you get High at lunch instead of eating. You're a stoner if... ..the tips of your fingers are stained yellow. You're a stoner if... ...you stop a stop sign and wait for it to turn green. You're a stoner if... ...you spend most of your time deciding whether or not you are a stoner. You're a stoner if... ...you're watching TV and a commercial comes on and you can't remember what show you were watching. You're a stoner if... ...you get stoned before work, at work, and after work. You're a stoner if... ...you have a bong taller than you. You're a stoner if... ...you laugh at a sales clerk when she says the total is 4.20 $ You're a stoner if... ...you smoke at 4:10, realize what time it is and smoke another bowl at 4:20. You're a stoner if... ...you think of your paycheck as increments of weed. You're a stoner if... ...the only reason you are going to college is to make more money to buy more herb. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke stems you find on the floor when you are out of herb. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke in class and blow it in a balloon. You're a stoner if... ...a Pot commercial comes on while you are watching TV with your parents and you become very anxious. You're a stoner if... ...you can't ever find your keys but you know the EXACT spot where that bud fell out of your bowl last week. You're a stoner if... ...you get a headache from not being high. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever thought about packing a bowl of seeds to get high, cause you are out of herb. You're a stoner if... ...all of your pipes have clever names. You're a stoner if... ...you go to a babysitting job blazed out of your nut. ( Ali B. ) You're a stoner if... ...you go to lawn college because you heard them mention Weed in their commercial. You're a stoner if... ...you have your dealer's number on speed dial. You're a stoner if... ...you say "Dude" more than 4 times in under 10 minutes. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke a fat blunt while reading stoner ifs. You're a stoner if... ...you have leftover shake in your pockets after a hard night. You're a stoner if... ...you find buds in your pocket and you take them out and smoke em' You're a stoner if... ...you would rather get high than get pussy. You're a stoner if... ...you wake up to a fat blunt and go to sleep with a fat blunt. You're a stoner if... ...you get weed from your mother's hands. You're a stoner if... ...you can scrape enough resin off your teeth to smoke. You're a stoner if... ...you wake up stoned and still want to get even higher. You're a stoner if... ...you slow down too soon at stop lights even when you aren't high at all. You're a stoner if... ...you question whether or not your teacher's smoke and whether or not to ask them if they want to. You're a stoner if... ...every time you walk into a hardware store you think " man I could make the best bong out of this ". You're a stoner if... ...every pair of pants you have has a secret stash pocket. You're a stoner if... ...you dog gets mad when you hold out on him. You're a stoner if... ...you pack a bowl for someone else and accidentally smoke it yourself. You're a stoner if... ...you sit at this stoner if's page and try to think of them for hours on end. You're a stoner if... ...you plan your day around how much weed you can get. You're a stoner if... ...you know every place you smoked last week but can't remember for the life of you what you did in school today. You're a stoner if... ...you have more names picked out for future bongs than for future children. You're a stoner if... ...you put seeds in a pepper grinder and put it on your food. You're a stoner if... ...you spend more time thinking of a name for your bong than you spend on homework. You're a stoner if... ...your mom gets her car back from you the next day and asks if you are wearing a new cologne. You're a stoner if... ...you would rather watch the Discovery channel than MTV. You're a stoner if... ...you spend more time burning in the park behind you house than you did when you played in it as a kid. You're a stoner if... ...you feel that everyone is staring into your eyes. You're a stoner if... ...you slow down for a green light. You're a stoner if... ...you wonder whether or not you should have sex, and you decide to think about it while you smoke a J, then you forget what you were thinking about. You're a stoner if... ...you save your lunch money to buy pot. You're a stoner if... ...you would rather listen to trippy music on the Weather Channel than watch anything else. You're a stoner if... ...everytime you belch smoke pours out everywhere. You're a stoner if... ...you only like going to school when you have a nice fatty waiting for you in the morning. You're a stoner if... ...you travel across the city to get herb. You're a stoner if... ...you forget your dealer's name. You're a stoner if... ...you sit in your backyard and can carry a conversation with your dog. You're a stoner if... ...you need to smoke in order to get any sleep. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke then wash your clothes and they still reak of herb. You're a stoner if... ...you purposely do every stoner if on this page just so you can be a bigger stoner. You're a stoner if... ...all you think about is pot. You're a stoner if... ...you think hanging out is boring if you aren't smoking. You're a stoner if... ...you zone out and have no idea what your friends are talking about but still pretend to. You're a stoner if... ...you scream for all non-potheads to kill themselves over the school PA. You're a stoner if... ...you are lighting up as you read this. You're a stoner if... ...everytime you walk in someone's house you contemplate the best place to hide pot. You're a stoner if... ...marijuana is the main ingredient in everything you cook. You're a stoner if... ...you buy twice as much weed, cause your dealer is going out of town for a few days. You're a stoner if... ...you can recite the scene from Half baked where they name all the Munchies. You're a stoner if... ...you treat your pipes like babies. You're a stoner if... ...you can't remember whose hit it is. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever stolen your mom' car and gotten high. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever gotten caught smoking and said it was peer pressure. You're a stoner if... ...the only motivation you have is to eat and smoke. You're a stoner if... ...you can make a pipe from a stick of chewing gum. You're a stoner if... ...you have more pot growing in your backyard than grass. You're a stoner if... ...you can find pot under your couch cushions. You're a stoner if... ...you steal smoking accessories from your school. You're a stoner if... ...your lizard is as high as you are. You're a stoner if... ...you think about smoking a pound in an hour. You're a stoner if... ...you roll a joint with bible papers. You're a stoner if... ...someone asks if you are a stoner and you deny it. You're a stoner if... ...you cut a hole in the tongue of your shoe for a stash pocket. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever smoked a bowl using a candle cause there was no matches around. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever stolen pieces from your chemistry class to make a bong. You're a stoner if... ...you get in fights over who gets to take the first hit. You're a stoner if... ...you drink bong water. You're a stoner if... ...you eat pot brownies for munchies. You're a stoner if... ...you twitch when your not high, You're a stoner if... ...you make a new pipe or bong every chance you get. You're a stoner if... ...you wake and bake at 2 in the afternoon. You're a stoner if... ...you smoke so much weed that after it is gone you complain about how you don't buy enough. You're a stoner if... ...you have to buy a new lighter every day. You're a stoner if... ...you take film in for one hour developing and don't pick it up for three days. You're a stoner if... ...your dealer knows your number by heart. You're a stoner if... ...your late to work because you were finishing bong hits. You're a stoner if... ...you save 4000 $ to buy a car, but end up going to the cannabis cup in Amsterdam You're a stoner if... ...you sit at home all day and the only thing you get accomplished is getting ripped as hell. You're a stoner if... ...you ask your mom to spare you some chronic for when you get home that night You're a stoner if... ...you misspell words on your own website. You're a stoner if... ...you can justify smoking a bowl before you do any homework. You're a stoner if... ...you have ever used a can to smoke weed cause you had no papers left. You're a stoner if... ...your mom makes fun of you because she is stoned and you aren't. You're a stoner if... ...you pick up your papers off the ground and then proceed to look for them for 20 minutes. |
