| Thoughts 5th. |
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| Jannuary 19, 2003 yea i havent been writing and so much has happened but i've been writing it in my subprofile. well i'm not gonna say that much. just that i'm happy. |
| Febuary 9, 2003 [ 2:02pm} okay so much things have happened. okay first lets see i hooked up bobby and herjit to gether so yea there preeti happy sort of i mean herjit stil like u know complains.. bad kisser.. i miss him. ehh i dont want to see him... why isnt he here?.. and so on. my chicka sharon and i have been coloser not in that way u sicko. like okay u know she likes steak so the other day we went to my church to see him but he didnt show up cuz he had a game and like the enxt day she tells me he has a gf a freshman cuz she saw them holding hands so shes sad of that. Also in winter ball or whatever she had no date. sorry. he hee. this reminds me of how me and her and eric, daniel and andy are gonna hang out like old times sort of. like i really want to hang out with eric or daniel cuz its been like forever. i dotn know if andy still hate me but yea not like i care. umm okay i'm going to church today. well to life group. and kim is probbaly trying to convince me to go to winter camp and brian will be pist if i dont go. the thing is i want to go sort of but like that weekend i was thinking of liek redecorating my room and like getting the new furniture so yea i dont know. Jared.. okay this guy is so the best guy ever because if like u know him he'll always be there for u 24/7. My resolution with sean is working out and yea. OKay bad things sort of lets see i have to sit next to bob in class so annoying with his stupid jokes.. but then again its sort of a good thing. i dont know like i dont care anymore. but u know what i think miss erica has a crush on him than again i have paranoid.. but who knows. umm ADAM.. yea weve been friends off and on so yea hopefully this time we wont get a fight.. were like an old marrid couple hahah jk.. but u know u started it. you shouldnt always be a funny guy.. okay okay okay now i will finally talk about you kjnow who mark. geez.. umm lets see what can i say besides like hes most of what i want in a guy and what scares me is being with him and how it seems like he loves me more than i do. Yoiu guys asked me why i run away from him... i guess thats why. i dont know what else to say if he does do sumthing for me on valentines day thats sweet but yea. candice sorry about how i say about how ehh not so good looking jj is but like i dont want u to like him more than a friend and u probbaly thinking i dont hes just a friend well u might think that but he might not. sometimes i wish u can just tell me the truth like not to just me but everyone like if u dont want to talk to cory just say it . and if you dont want to go out with jj or any one just tell them. i dont know sumtimes your too nice. and your thining well you are but look at u grace at least i'm not mean and stuff.. yea well sorry but i just like to tell how i think and truthfully. you know how your mom always say how i'm gonna miss u when u leave.. and i always say ha yea right.. laughs.. so not true.. i'd probbaly cry at nights. okay i dont want to end it in a like sad thing.. i have a feeling candice jj is gonna do sumthing for u on valentines day or sumone.. a guy like i dont know how i know.. i just feel it. JESSICA IF YOUR READING THIS YOU ARE SOO LAME LIKE I WOULD TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS> |
| Febuary 14, 2003 Okay valentines day was not the same it turned out okay i guess i dont know. lets see in the morning i had an english test yea helped a friend out. then spanish lets see i got invited to this party which i will go. Then i was gonna visit john at nutrition but candice got called out and needed her backpack so we had to wiat at her class. 3rd was soo boring but oh well. adam suprised me and gave me this rose. which was sweet. becase I LOVE FLOWERS hint hint. laughs 4th was boring too but i kep tthinking about u know who and errrGHH [die] jk. then at lunch laughs i dont know if this is the good part u want me to tell u but but he was waiting for me at my locker and he was about to leave to check the other one because he thought he got the wrong locker but he saw me so yea then we walked together and hes like okay i just have to ask yyou this first, wilkl you be my valentine" and i said.... no.. ha jk i said yes. and he gave me a gift and smiled.. then we went to my locker and got my stuff. i gave him his gift and like i told him he cant open it infront of me. smiles. and he so wnated to.. but yea then we hanged out at lunch.. ye he put his arms around me.. omg then this guy like that gave candice the valentine gram came up and was like hey and we started laughing and they talked a little bit but had this awkward silence and we were like should we go in and talk to them or whatt.. laughs then like my gf's came along and yea he left camddice said he was wearing cover up.. MAKE UP. dang. umm then lunch was over and i almost forgot my gift but mark was there to get it and i walked them to their class then i said bye.. haa ha no i didnt kiss him. and he knows why. yea i left and matt wa slike so are u and him going out and i was like ehh no.. we tried.. then i saw jj but was like hey u know u should visit cnadice.. but matt was still there and lecturing me marks such a great guy.i guess.. and that was it basically it err we had to take a quiz in math but yea. then me marrked talked for a long time.. and yea |
| febuary 18, 2003 my plan of my room seems to be harder. prehaps he is testing me. Days pass like a summers day. I went to the movies at last with mark yesterday.It felt different. Nothing happened,of course no one believes me, well i guess you'll never know unless you were there.I just watched a movie called murder by #.sad not because of the movie, juss cuz.Bobby is a great guy you know that herjit,and NO BOB i will not kiss her.I was just kidding.Saw jj again and sean.it dosent bother me anymore. Nothing I Can Except.Have you ever felt like death is always watching you and not God.Yet death never takes you as if it was the devils work and you are in pain each and everyday, yet its a gift and an honor to live by god.candice to answer your question,I dont know wether i still like him. Does it matter anymore? Today is the sadddest day like everyday of my life. |
| febuary 24, 2002 okay err i tell everything to mark ti seems laughs and now i have no effort to put it hear well its not like nayone wants to read this boring stuff or hear it. smiles. wel anyways its 10:21pm yea havent finished spanish and english tell u more. nothing much to say.. tell more tom. and mark if u are reading this. tsk tsk tsk.. yea anyways hope your not mad but only wirting how i felt. |
| Febuary 28, 2003 i am sad. again. listening to i melt with you. " moving foward using all my breath, making love to you was never second best, i saw the world thrashing all around your face, never really knowing it was always mesh and lace." love that song... makes me feel better. me mark arent talking for two weeks. why? you wonder. no reason well mostly I .. just need sum time alone. no i am not sad about this. how can i be sad about this. laughs. yea that was cruel to say.. but thats life huh. well i'm gonna stop mendling into peoples bussiness and trying to help.. because it seems that my effort dont make a change. i dont know what to say except that i was never happpy nor will be so stop trying to make me. just let it be. and remember just cuz i smile dosent mean i feel that way inside. one day when you figure me out .. it'll already be too late. and not even god himself can save me. |