A/N: I couldn�t resist. I got an idea and had to run with it (though a bit self-degrading.) I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it. And please review.

Oh, and one more thing; I know some people may get insulted by this and wanna hurt me, but it�s all in good humor so sit back and have a good laugh�.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime mentioned in this fanfic and I am not profiting from this at all.

 

ANYWAY! On with the show!

 

Interviews: One on One

Part I: Himura Kenshin

 

In the small studio people are scurrying to make sure the lighting is perfect. Phoenix sits on stage in a pink kimono looking at a list of names and mentally cursing.

I wanted to interview Ichijouji Ken from Digimon first, but he won�t be available until exams are over. She pauses in her thoughts and whispers to herself. �What a sweet child.� Then she looks at the list again. All of her preferred choices of anime characters to interview first were unavailable at the time. The only one that was free was Himura Kenshin. Phoenix was lost in her thoughts cursing the Batousai�s name when POOF! The makeup artist smacked her in the face with an oversized powder puff.

�Oi! What do you think-.� Phoenix was cut short, by Uingumon who was yelling to her across the room.

�Five minutes Phoenixchan!� He said waving a hand in the air. �Oh and I sent the cameraman home. I wanted to shoot the first interview myself.� He said smiling.

�Please don�t frown Hoshikasan.� The makeup artist said with a thick Japanese accent as she applied mascara to Phoenix�s face. Relaxing Phoenix trails off into her thoughts again.

�Where the hell is that idiot?� She thought hoping he wouldn�t show, however getting more and more peeved at the thought that he wouldn�t

�Sorry, I�m late, that I am.� Kenshin said walking up onto the stage which was set up to look like a living room with a tatami matted floor in the center surrounded by lavendar carpret.

�Damn!� Phoenix thought smiling at Kenshin with a slight glare.

Finishing Phoenix the makeup artist quickly started on Kenshin. POOF!

�Orooo.� Kenshin said as the powder flew into his eyes.

�Gomennasai.� The makeup artist said rushing to make Kenshin camera ready.

�Aho.� Phoenix thought then shook her head. She inhaled deeply to calm herself down before the camera�s started rolling.

 

Uingumon started the countdown and all unnecessary personal cleared the set.

Phoenix looked into the camera tightly holding her hands on her lap fighting not to show her nervousness. She hated cameras.

�Hello everyone and welcome to the first edition of One on One. I am your host Phoenix Hoshika and joining us today is our first guest Himura Kenshin.�

�Thank you for inviting, Hoshikadonno.�

�We�re lucky to have you.� Phoenix said laughing on the inside has she read the teleprompter.

�As you know the show is to give our watchers incite to various characters. So before shooting we gathered the top three questions people wanted to ask. Let�s start with number three.� Phoenix dramatically paused as she read the script. �Do you believe that Hiko really thinks you are an idiot?�

Hiko was standing behind a crowd of film students unnoticed nodding his head.

�Maybe you should ask my master yourself, Hoshikadonno.� Kenshin replied avoiding the question.

�Understood.� Phoenix said smiling all the while thinking smart-alec. �Here is question number 2.� Phoenix was tickled as she read the next question, but wanted to throw up as the words came from her lips. �Does any of the Doujinshi featuring yourself and Sagara Sanosuke have any truth of your true feelings toward each other?�

�O-o-oro???�

�Are you in love with Sanosuke?� Phoenix asked fighting off a shudder.

Kenshin turned serious. �Sano is a good friend and nothing more.�

�Would you care to tell us more about it?� Phoenix asked improvising.

�No.�

Just then Sano slipped in and everyone turned to look at him with questioning eyes.

�Well, damn.� Sano whispered glaring at the crowd.

�I know this only a half hour show but his short answers are going to make it two minutes. I am no good at this improve crap hopefully this next question will get him to talk more.� Phoenix thought becoming irritated. �It is obvious Karou is in love with you, why haven�t you openly displayed your feelings for her?� Phoenix wanted to gag.

�Is it that obvious I have feeling for her too?� Kenshin asked quietly.

�Yes.�

��..�

�Himurasan?�

�Since it is so obvious there is nothing more for me to say.� Kenshin said standing up.

�CUT.� Uingumon shouted as he stopped filming.

Phoenix grinned gritting her teeth. �Kuso! This was a waste of time.� She felt like pounding her head on the tatami mat they were sitting on. Kenshin was walking off the stage when Phoenix suddenly called out to him. �Wait!�

Uingumon turned on the camera again.

�I want to talk to you in private.� She said in a calm voice. Phoenix then looked at the crowded studio. �Everyone, could you please leave. Now.� Phoenix added noticing their hesitation. �You too Uingumon and please turn that thing off.�

�Yare, yare.� Uingumon complained as he left. Phoenix waited until she heard the click of the studio door.

�You know you just wasted a lot of people�s time, Himurasan.�

�I apologize that I do, but did the questions have to be so personal?�

"Your fans wanted to know, but we will take that into consideration.�

�Fans?�

�Never mind that right now. Have a seat.� What am I doing? Phoenix thought, as she pulled a jug of sake from under the buffet table. "Maybe if I get him to loosen up he will talk more, but this sake is for me. Phoenix looked at the large bottle curiously. I never drank alcohol a day in my life, but I�m gonna gag sitting in here trying to talk him into finishing the interview."

�Would you like something to drink; spring water, tea, soda-.�

�Sake, would be fine, that it would.�

�Hai.� Phoenix said smiling at him then turned around frowning. "Drunkard." Phoenix put the bottle and two cups on a tray and brought it over to the tatami placing it between them.

After his first cup of sake. Kenshin gave Phoenix a questioning look. �What do you want Hoshikadonno?�

�I want to finish the interview.� She said pouring her third glass of sake.

�You could have asked me plainly.�

�Maybe but things seemed a bit tense.�

�So they were.�

 

Outside Uingumon was huddled close to the door with the makeup artist and the three other cameramen. He was carefully holding a box to his ear that was connected to a microphone in the studio unknown to Phoenix and Kenshin.

�What�s going on?� the makeup artist asked.

�Nothing, they�re just talking.� Uingumon replied in a hushed voice. �She wants him to finish the interview.�

�Ah.� They said.

�Shh,� Uingumon hissed.

 

�We can continue when you are ready, that we can.� Kenshin said finishing his fifteenth cup of sake. Phoenix was on her twelfth and they were both drunk but did not let on to this fact whatsoever; Kenshin because he was too Kenshin and Phoenix because she didn�t even want to admit it to herself and especially not in front of him.

�Yes, but before I get everyone back in here tell me something.�

�What?�

�What is about teenage girls that older men find attractive?�

"Their innocence, their tolerance, their trusting nature," Kenshin thought his thoughts leaning on Karou. "Just because they are unused and-.�

�Himurasan, I would like to know what you�re thinking.� Phoenix said taking the cup from her lips.

�Because they are young.�

�That�s it?�

�Yes.�

�Hmm.�

�You seem troubled by this?� Kenshin asked a little surprised.

�I know what it is like to be a teenage girl and have men old enough to be your uncle flirt with you. Freely speaking, I find it perverted. The only reason you get away with it is because you�re so sexy.�

�Oro?�

Phoenix continued to drink. Still, even though, I think you�re a pervert.

�Hoshikadonno. Don�t you think you had enough to drink?� Kenshin said attempting to pull the cup away from her hands.

�Iie!� Phoenix said snatching her hands out of his grasp holding the cup close to her chest starting to cry.

�It�s my birthday today. I just turned twenty two. My friend gave me this sake even though she knew I never drank any type of alcohol before. But today I started because�dealing with�YOU, and I thought why not? At first it was bitter, but then it started to taste sweet. So I haven�t had enough till it�s gone. Anyway, since you're already drinking all my joy away I ask you to just sit and finish the bottle with me.�

�Hoshikadonno��

�Finish it!� Phoenix shouted tossing the bottled at him.

�Hai.�

 

�What�s going on now?� One of the camera guys asked.

�I think they�re drinking.�

�What?!� They all exclaimed.

�Shh. I think Phoenixchan is drunk.�

�WHAT?� They all exclaimed again, louder.

�Be quiet.� Uingumon hissed glaring at them.

�Gomen.� They apologized in unison looking a little frightened.

�It�s almost gone.� Kenshin said. �I�ll finish it.� He said pouring the last of it into his cup. Before he could put it to his lips again Phoenix grabbed it from him.

�No, I will.�

�Hoshikadonno� should you��

�I�m going to finish it.� Phoenix drank the last of the sake slowly to savor the flavor.

�Are you ok?� Kenshin asked carefully watching Phoenix as she sat with her eyes closed.

�I�I�I�.� Phoenix started breathing heavily. �I�I�I challenge you Battousai.� She stood up pulling a long Japanese sword from her kimono. Kenshin stared dumbfounded. He didn�t see that coming!

�I said I challenge you Battousai. Now draw your weapon.� Phoenix said unsheathing the sword and dropping the sheath to the ground.

�It�s the sake talking. You should put that away before you hurt yourself.�

�I�m not drunk, damnit! And I know what I am doing!� Phoenix sliced the coffee table in half then kicked it away so that nothing was between her and Kenshin.

�Okay, I accept your challenge.� Kenshin said standing up. �But I can�t take you seriously you're too drunk.� He said lowly.

�CHIII! You bastard!! I am not drunk. Phoenix swung the sword around then stuck it into the stage kneeling down. �I� you� Damn you, damn you, DAMN YOU BATOUSAI!!� Phoenix had grabbed the sword up and swung it at his neck just missing him as he moved out of the way.

 

By this time Uingumon had moved the filming crew and the audience back in studio to see the fight with cameras rolling. Everyone was stark silent as they watched the battle unfold.

Hiko stood in a dark corner watching shaking his head. �My dumb pupil, getting into a drunken sword fight with a woman. Yare, yare,� he said with a slight chuckle.

 

�Running away may have worked on Senkaku but it won�t work on me!� Phoenix said purposely speeding up as she slashed at Himura.

"She�s fast, but�." Kenshin thought to himself as he moved behind Phoenix so fast it seemed he disappeared.

�That won�t work either,� Phoenix yelled slicing at him with her katana. Kenshin had no choice but to draw his sword to block being struck. Phoenix bore down on him with her blade and oddly enough Kenshin seemed to be struggling.

"She�s strong" Kenshin thought has he felt something rearing up inside him. Suddenly he felt a swift kick to his abdomen and went flying across the stage. Kenshin flipped over and landed on his feet in a crouched position his hair breaking loose of its ponytail as he did. Kenshin then darted at Phoenix at light speed.

 

Off on the side lines everyone was watching in silence because Uingumon threatened to personally out anyone who made a peep, but it didn�t seem to matter at this point.

�Kenshin!� Sanosuke yelled. �What the hell are you doing? Kick her ass!� POW! Sanosuke was hit in the jaw. �What the hell?� Sanosuke asked falling to the floor. Holding his jaw he looked up to see Uingumon smiling at him. �What the f-.�

�Sagarasan, you should really watch you mouth, ne?� Uingumon said smiling.

�You�re not human?� Sanosuke said still on the floor looking up at the gijinka while balling up his fists.

�Iie, so it would be unwise to mess with me.�

�The hell! Human not human I�ll kick your ass!� Sanosuke lunged at Uingumon who caught his fist and sent him sliding backward on his butt.

Uingumon giggled. �Sagarasan we can play if you want, but I was kind of busy filming the main event.�

Sanosuke shook his head declining from the fight for the time being. �Who the hell does that guy think he is? I was kind of busy filming the main event.� Sano muttered. He continued to mutter unintelligible curses under breathe has he got up to finish watching the fight.

 

�Hoshikadonno, I�m ending this.�

Phoenix scuffed, taking a battle stance.

�Amekakiryu ryu no hiramaki!�

�Kuso!� Phoenix said out loud recognizing the attack. What did Sensei say about this? Ah, I can�t remember, I can�t remember. I better just dodge the thing. These thoughts rushed through her mind in a flash as she clumsily avoided the attack, but Kenshin�s attack created a vacuum that was pulling her into a certain beating. Phoenix was obviously off balance as her feet slid across the floor, Kenshin�s sword inches from her body. "I can�t loose!" Phoenix thought forcing herself to take the escaping step backward. As she stepped back it was like closing the door on a strong gust of wind, Phoenix flew back ten feet struggling to stay standing. She was barely balancing on one foot and Kenshin was coming in for the strike. In a panic Phoenix spun in a high speed pirouette with her blade facing outward. This maneuver acted as a fan to push the opponent away. It apparently worked on Kenshin because he suddenly fell on his butt, but was up on his feet in no time flat. No big deal. This gave Phoenix enough time to regain her footing.

 

In the audience people had already placed bets on who would when which was initiated by Sanosuke. People were finding chairs, a vender had rolled his cart into the studio to sell popcorn and hotdogs and a soda machine nearby provided the beverages. Uingumon was intently watching the drunken duel through a camera biting his lip. �Come on, you can do it Phoenixchan, don�t give up.� He chanted as the intense battle raged on. Some people were getting restless because no blood was spilled and someone even commented.

�How can this be a real sword fight if no one gets cut up!�

Hiko was now leaning against the wall drinking sake straight from the bottle. "It�s real alright." He thought. "Though drunk out of their minds it is apparent that neither of them wants to really hurt one another. The Phoenix girl has potential. Why is she wasting time with my stupid pupil?"

 

The fight continued for five hours. Some where still on the edge of their seats while others were going home and some just arriving. Uingumon yawned has he changed the tapes to continue recording.

Then something interesting happened. (Not to say a fight is uninteresting no matter how long it takes for someone to get knocked out!) Kenshin and Phoenix clash swords The blades spark as steel grinded against steel and with a slight twist of the blade Kenshin knocks Phoenix�s katana from her hand. The sword flies through the air and lands in front of an unsuspecting film student who jumps out of the way as it the blade lands with a hard clank to the cold floor. Loosing her sword catches Phoenix off guard. Kenshin takes advantage of the opportunity and backhand smacks her. Phoenix stumbles back. It hurt like nothing she ever felt but she wasn�t gonna let up sword or no sword.

�I am sorry it had to come to that, that I am.� Kenshin said carefully watching Phoenix who looked very much in pain, but very much still in fight mode not letting the sting of being hit so hard detour her.

�Skip being sorry. This is a fight.� Phoenix wiped the sweet from her brow and smiled. �You did what you had to and I am gonna make you regret it.� Phoenix stood with her hands to her side. She glared at Kenshin as she thought to herself, while tapping the toes of her right foot on the floor; "I�ll make you regret it. I�ll make you pay." Phoenix thought as a maniacal smile made its way onto her face with the glare.

"This seems� familiar?" Kenshin thought to himself getting ready for what would come next.

�Here I come.� Phoenix said in a low voice then disappeared.

 

�Nani?!� Sano exclaimed from the side lines now standing beside Uingumon.

�This is getting interesting, ne, Sagarasan?� Uingumon said still biting his lip as he filmed the whole thing.

Kenshin looked around his violet eyes growing wide. Something about this didn�t feel right. He felt a breeze then a jab followed by a swift punch. Now able to pinpoint Phoenix's location more accurately Kenshin used the hilt of sword to jab her in the ribs.

�Itai,� Phoenix exclaimed as she reappeared for only a short second the disappeared again. On the other side of the stage Phoenix reappeared grasping her side in pain.

�I can�t lose.� She repeated regaining her composure. Kenshin took a stance panting heavily then paused after catching his breath somewhat.

�Hoshikadonno, I�m� I�m tired.� Kenshin said then sheaved his sword.

�What?!� Phoenix screamed rubbing her head. She couldn�t fight someone who wouldn�t fight back and she didn�t like the idea of winning by default. �What?!� She said again becoming even more frantic.

�I don�t even know why you challenged me Hoshikadonno, that I do not.

Phoenix was still rubbing her head even more flustered. She slowly made her way back over to Kenshin trying to explain to him why she did what she did. �I� I don�t even remember why.� Phoenix said stopping in front of him and getting control of herself. �Gomennasai Himurasa-.� The room suddenly seemed to spin, and the directions of up and down seemed to merge into one confusing concept causing her to fall forward.

�Hoshikadonno!� Kenshin exclaimed catching her. Phoenix was now holding on to him like buoy in the middle of a storm. She suddenly stared to cry hysterically.

�There, there.� Kenshin said patting her head trying to calm her down.

Snapping back into reality, but still crying, Phoenix weakly punched Kenshin in the shoulder. �Don�t patronize me!� She said through sobs. Let me go.�

�You can�t even stand up if I let you go you will surely fall, that you will.�

Phoenix sighed knowing full well she was putting all her weight on Kenshin. "Damnit." Phoenix thought. �I want to sit down,� she said sniffling.

Kenshin slowly helped her down to a seated position on the floor. He sat down too, sighing with relief.

Phoenix wiped her eyes as the tears kept coming. She then moved closer to Kenshin who had his eyes closed and suddenly opened them when felt a hand bearing down on his knee.

�Oro?� He was surprise to see Phoenix so close to his face� glaring at him.

�Why? Why must you be so detestable?� Phoenix asked going into another crying fit. "I can�t stand being in the same room with you.� Phoenix tried to stand but ended up tripping over her own feet. Kenshin caught her again.

�You should just deal with it until you can stand up on your own, that you should.�

�I can�t. I can�t stand you, Himura Battousai.� Phoenix uttered then paused as if shocked by her own words then continued to sob.

A quizzical expression came over Kenshin's face. �Hoshikadonno?� Kenshin started still holding on to her, now it was him who couldn�t stand up.

�What?� She managed to say through her crying.

�I�m sorry that you didn�t get to finish you interview.�

�Don�t care any more.�

�I want to know if you meant what you said earlier.�

�What did I say earlier?�

�You said you thought I was sexy.�

"What? Did I say that? Damnit." Phoenix sighed too tired to deny it. �Yes.� She said running her fingers through his hair, it was so soft she couldn't resist. "And honestly speaking I really don�t hate you. I just wish� I just wish that�� Phoenix paused glancing around the room the stage lights were blinding her vision or was it the sake? Either way she could just make out the figures of people and see the red record light flashing on a camera. Phoenix felt the blood rush to her face. �I just wish you weren�t such a PERVERT!� Phoenix slapped Kenshin to the floor who laid there, eyes swirling, too dazed to get up.

�All that torturous training for the past year under Soujiro Sensei paid off.� Phoenix mumbled indiscriminately to herself then she looked up. �I thought I told you all to leave?� Phoenix said facing the crowd.

�We did Phoenixchan but I let everyone back in once things got interesting.� Uingumon replied.

�How long have you been taping us?�

�Nnn, about sense when you started fighting,� the digimon replied.

Phoenix felt embarrassment swelling inside her. �You�re going to edit that last part out, right?� She yelled at Uingumon.

�Not a chance. That will get us ratings Phoenixchan. To think the host of One on One is secreltly-

�Don�t you dare even say such a thing!!�

Uingumon giggled. �It�s okay, Phoenixchan the tape speaks for itself.�

Phoenix�s face was burning red from embarrassment and anger. "Chikuso! Uingumon, you traitor!" Phoenix thought balling up her fists in frustration.

�So ends the first segment of One on One.� Uingumon narrated. �A close match is ended in a draw and hidden pas-

�SHUTUP UINGUMON!!!� Phoenix boomed.

Uingumon giggled. �Okay, okay. Just one last thing��

�What?�

�What are you going to do now?�

�Well�� Phoenix stood up unsteadily placing a hand on her hip. �I�m gonna hit the sushi bar.� She said flipping her hair over her shoulder. Everyone fell out and Hiko almost choked on his sake. Sano who was helping up Kenshin almost dropped his drunken friend.

Phoenix burst into laughter. "No, no. That would be no good."

�Thank goodness!� Uingumon said sighing with relief. �Cut!�

Uingumon walked over to his friend and looked her over. �Daijoubu ka?�

�Yes, why do you ask?�

�Because you�re falling down again,� Uingumon said catching her.

 

~End

 

Moral to the story is; don�t drink until your drunk. It�s probably best to avoid it, because you might say or do things you will regret later.