The (Non-Existant) Perfect Man
He has a smile that lights up any room he breezes into.
He laughs at lame jokes that no one else thinks are funny.
He apologizes when he's hurt your feelings and hands you a red rose at the same time.
He confesses to leaving the toilet seat up (even when you know he did it since he's the only male in the house).
He refills the ice trays and puts them back in the freezer.
He clears the table, rinses the dishes, puts them in the dishwasher, and even turns it on...and *gasp* he even puts the dishes away when the cycle is done.
He brings you breakfast in bed even when he hasn't forgotten your anniversary, your birthday, or Valentine's day.
He writes sappy (but cute) "Roses Are Red" poems and serenades you in public with his excruciatingly painful version of an alto voice. (And this is the guy you'll spend the rest of your life with.)
He brings you chicken soup and 7-Up when you're sick with the flu, even though he knows you won't keep it down.
He doesn't complain when you want to see the latest chic flick...for example, "Notting Hill."
He lets you have the remote control more often than once every six months.
He rolls his eyes at the Glamour and Cosmo magazines you buy for the beauty/men secrets, but you smile when you catch him secretly flipping thought them.
He believes in you.
He looks like a million bucks even though he only makes forty thousand.
He loves kids, and he even adores your pet poodle, Fifi (even though he has violent allergic reactions to her).
He LIVES for Ally McBeal on Monday nites instead of football.
He cleans the bathroom, right down to the toilet bowl. (Someone's gotta do it...why not him???)
He takes out the garbage without even being told. (Oh, that one HAS to make you proud of him!!!)
His eyes crinkle at the corners whenever he smiles.
He uses your Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner and acts like the girl from the commercials...ooooohhhhhh, yes, YES, YESSS!!!
He dedicates your favorite song to you on the radio.
He can read your mind.
He gives the greatest shoulder, neck, and back massages.
He buys you jewelry.
Better yet, he gives you the ruby and diamond ring that belonged to his mother, grandma, great-grandma, etc.
He introduces you to his friends as his girlfriend rather than as his sister.
He loves your mom.
Your mom loves HIM.
He wants (eventually) to have children.....with you.
He respects your need for the occasional "bitchy" days...ahem...do the 3 letters P-M-S ring a bell?
He knows what he wants to do with his life.
He's a Toys-R-Us kid...he doesn't wanna grow up.
He listens to country music, but not JUST country music...he listens to a little bit of everything..
He loves your rainbow-colored nail polish collection, and even lets you give him the occasional manicure.
He's on time for your dates.
He calls to say "I Love You" when he's away on business.
I know he doesn't exist, you needn't remind me. Can't a girl dream a little? C'mon guys, I know y'all dream of the (non-existant) perfect woman. If you guys can dream, so can us gals.