(a . . . Corrupted Constitution Forever)

PREAMBLE

ARTICLE I

Section 1. All legislative Powers herein granted, except where the supreme Court (hereinafter referred to as the "Supreme Court") shall dictate otherwise, shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives, most of which, at the least, shall be lawyers of the Bar.

Section 2. (1) The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

(2) No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States (or from the age of eighteen years old), and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

(4) When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

(5) The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment, however such Impeachment shall not extend to Justices of the Supreme Court.

Section 3. (1) The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

(2) Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.

(3) No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

(4) The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided. (Okayed by Prince John, King of the United States  J. M.)

(5) The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

(6) The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments, however such Trials of Impeachment may not extend to Justices of the Supreme Court.  When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, his majesty the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present. (if for Prince John it must be unanimous, and if it ever is, then John’s vote must be included too.)

(7) Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section 4. (1) The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

(2) The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section 5. (1) Each House shall be the Judge of Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Section 7. (1) All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

(2) Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it becomes a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons Voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays objected to) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

(3) Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section 8. (1) The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, and collect Insurance Premiums (FICA), to pay the Debts and Force (strike "provide for" which only means to "make available," not granting government enough power) the common Defence and general Welfare (which Welfare means everything or anything but simply making sure that enough money is provided into circulation for the common People {not the rich} which would take care of everything that government proposes to force or manipulate upon the People) of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

(2) To borrow Money from the Federal Reserve Bank, a private bank, on the credit of the United States, rather than to thereafter issue United States currency from the United States Treasury itself alone based upon any sort of population-need factor as required by the general Welfare clause above;

(3) To regulate seize controul over - by Congress (just like me, just like I did) (as long as me and my S.Ct. buddies say it's okay) - which controul over, not merely regulate, shall when called for in time, include "to prohibit, stop, put an end to, say to the states "No way Jose," and any other thing that the Congress decides to use it for," subject to the old say-so principle from yours truly, (Hey, I just changed the word "regulate to mean all of those things that the word regulate didn't even mean before.) (Isn't this fun?  I can change the meaning of ANY word that I choose, and therefore how it applies to any of you, just because I said so.  Why you peasants don't even have controul of your own common language anymore, thanks to me and my buddies.   J.M.), Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes, after those lowly Indian humans, just like the rest of you peasants, have been forcibly put in their place on a reservation somewhere;

(5) To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures (but if the SUPREME Court approves it, they may do anything else that they like);

(6) To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

(7) To establish Post Offices and post Roads (this right shall be exclusive to the Federal(ist) Party, OOOPS, I mean Federal Government, and states and People shall have no concurrent power to do this sort of thing too.)

(8) To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries, subject to Congress' decision to let other countries steal this country blind of its technological and other advances;

(12) To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years, except that the sSupreme Court shall determine to let this provision slide based on a technicality of an every two year renewal of the army;

(16) To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

(17) To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten to a nationwide's Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the sSupreme Court and of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings; - And

(18) To make all Laws, subject to sSupreme Court "Okay," which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section 9. (1) The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

(2) The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it, or where any judge ignores this Constitution and its requirements, because judges are absolutely immune and can get away with whatever they want to, and nothing can be done to them no matter what. This requirement IS to be construed as having concurrent application, and therefore applies both to the United States government and each and all of the States and their governments.

(3) No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law (except for case law established by the sSupreme Court) shall be passed. This requirement is NOT to be construed as having concurrent application, and therefore applies only to the United States government.

(4) No Capitation or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.  NO!  This does not mean that such a tax would be determined by the number of people counted in the census divided into the total amount of tax dollars desired to be raised, applied therefore on an equal basis, establishing a good and practical reason for never establishing an "income" tax.  Forget that idea.  No amendment, whether or not really passed, having a similar language to any of this, is to ever be considered as amending this clause.  And furthermore, this requirement IS to be construed as having concurrent application, and therefore applies both to the United States government and each and all of the States and their governments, because I said so.   J. M.

(5) No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any other State, but the word "export" shall mean articles which are sent out of a country, but not sent out of a country only, but rather INto another foreign country.  As of the time that this Constitution is established, a State shall no longer be considered to be a sovereign nation within the sovereign nation of the United States.  The States shall, upon the ratification of this Constitution, lose their identities as separate countries or nations.  A nation shall not be the same thing as a country, specifically as a local country, if it is to be applied to the States, but shall refer to countries ONLY if they are considered to be foreign countries.  Additionally, export shall not be construed to be the income side of the exporting process as no one earns money or revenue from export, therefore, export must mean import, and import is not a purchase, but an income, so it can be taxed by the Federalist (party) government by any alleged revenue department thereof.  Please note the sheer brilliance of my majestic and superior reasoning here.  .. your worship... Prince John M.

(6) No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another. This requirement IS to be construed as having concurrent application, and therefore applies both to the United States government and each and all of the States and their governments.

(7) No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time. This requirement IS to be construed as having concurrent application, and therefore applies both to the United States government and each and all of the States and their governments.

(8) No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince or foreign State. This Clause, although it applies only to the government of the United States, shall not be construed to mean that a person taking upon himself a title of nobility in contradiction to this part of the Constitution, has committed no wrong whatsoever, particularly if such title of nobility is the title of "Esquire," a British title of nobility between the ranks of Knight and Gentleman, nor such a title as "Your Honor," not to be confused with "Your Majesty," which is to reserved for Chief Justices who shall preside over the United States after 1803. No punishment ought to be considered against any person who violates this requirement against Titles of Nobility, because, after, all, nothing was really meant by this part of the Constitution in the first place. We, the Elite, have said so. You, the ignorant rabble, wouldn't know the truth of something if it bit you on the hand. Also, judges will be allowed to wear the royal black robes of English judicial tradition, or something akin thereto, and must have all to "arise" to greet them when they make an entrance into the courtroom.

(2) No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress or the Supreme Court, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing its inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

(3) No State shall, without the Consent of Congress or the Supreme Court, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

ARTICLE II

Section 1. (1) The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America., subject to the review of the sSupreme Court, or the Writs of Mandamus of an inferior court thereof, which the Supreme Court says is okay to be issued to contradict the President, putting the Supreme Court, not equal to, but actually over the President. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, shall have the power to issue executive orders without responsibility to either Congress or the People, except he shall be accountable to me, or the Supreme Court, and together with the Vice President - another underling of the Supreme Courtt - chosen for the same Term, be elected as follows:

(8) Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend, the Constitution of the United States."  Now don't get any ideas about this.  Just because it says that does not mean that the President can actually do anything to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution from ultimate destruction, because he doesn't understand it anyway; only I do, and unless I, or may buddies, tell the President what the Constitution really means, there is nothing that he can do about it now, is there?

(2) He shall have Power, by and with Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the sSupreme Court, one of which must eventually include myself, King John, I mean John Marshall, at least, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

(3) The President shall have the Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section 3. He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other (public - deleted) foreign Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, which shall not be construed to mean that he shall be called upon to actually do anything such as the enforcement of such laws, the job or duty of such laws being the sole or ultimate responsibility of the Supreme Court, and he shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section 4, Clause 1.  The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.  This higher principle of Impeachment shall also apply to me and my buddies, the Supreme Court justices, and all other Federalist (party) Judges or Justices as well.  Ignore the very sensitive conditions established just ahead, by Article III, Section 1, wherein it says that Federalist (party) Judges may be removed for bad Behavior alone, not requiring any crime whatsoever to have been committed.  

Section 4, Clause 2.  You MUST understand (for I command you to do so) that "bad Behavior," the opposite of good Behavior, does not exist where a bad Attitude does, for everyone knows that teenagers having bad Attitude are considered to really be acting in good Behavior, not bad Behavior, so it will be okay if we Judges exhibit a bad Attitude, or prejudice, against the Constitution (our true employer), or against any part thereof, a showing of the effect of a bad Attitude or bad Behavior toward the Constitution, unless it is accompanied by our having been caught with our hands in the cookie jar, so to speak, or have committed a crime, just like the President, etc. shall not be grounds for impeachment of a United States Judge or Supreme Court Justice, because I SAID SO.   . . . .  By My Command.  . . .  Prince John.

ARTICLE III

Section 1. The judicial Power of John Marshall, or in the alternative when his majesty sitteth upon his high throne in heaven, of the United States, shall be vested in one sSupreme (not supreme) Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress, subject to his majesty's approval, may from time to time ordain and establish.  The Judges, both of the sSupreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, (not inclusive of bad Attitude or bad Behavior) which Behaviour shall consist of such violations as the said Judges may get away with, being absolutely immune to any charges by the Citizens of the United States or of any State, even if their acts are corrupt or "even if their motives are black," and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.  By royal proclamation by his majesty, John Marshall,  the word "supreme" in sSupreme Court was meant to be interpreted as "Supreme over the Supreme Law, not supreme over the laws of the land established thereunder.

(2) In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other ("public" - deleted) foreign Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the sSupreme Court shall have original (being the same thing as "supreme") Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the sSupreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make. Under this Clause, the sSupreme Court may also go over the heads (or violate the chain of command) of the President’s cabinet members and other U.S. officials and insert itself into the place of the President, and overturn a President’s order, even though they cannot equally order the President to do so, and the sSupreme Court can authorize a lower court to go over the head of the President and the other officials of the executive branch also, and contradict and nullify a President’s order just the same as the sSupreme Court can do. A writ of mandamus can be used to do this, for if signed by even a lower court judge, it represents a power even greater than the authority and power of the President of the United States. Let us pray . . . . to me.

Section 3. (1) NOTICE OF ROYAL DECREE: Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort, or (President Jefferson, take heed) disputing the majesty and sovereign decisions of the sSupreme Court. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court, however don’t mess around with the sSupreme Court or any judges anywhere whatsoever or all of that could change. You could find yourselves thrown in jail without cause, or have your children taken away from you by government (us sophisticated royal- like folks know much more about this sort of things than you ignorant rabble types), and you’ll still have to pay the bills the government sends you.

ARTICLE IV

Section 1. Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.

Section 2. (1) The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities, as shall be determined by the Supreme Court, of Citizens in the several States, but this does not mean that the Privileges and Immunities have to be made available on an equal basis throughout the several states. By taking this position, it creates real (dis)unity between the states, which makes there be more justice for all.

(2) A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from be wanted by alleged Justice from another State, and be found in another State other than the State wanting the said unfortunate, guilty Person, shall on Demand, without proof that such guilty Person was ever in such State wanted by, of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

(3) No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.

Section 3. (1) New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

(2) The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section 4. The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, but which shall not apply to the judiciary or judges, requiring such Republican Form of Government to establish Juries to determine at the local or Republican level itself the constitutionality of the laws whereby the People themselves must deal with on a day to day basis, and shall protect each of them against overt, but not covert, Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), or even if neither of the foregoing does not ask for it, then based upon a federal decision alone to so by force, against any suspect form of alleged domestic Violence.   This can all now be done thanks to the grand majesty and irrefutable wisdom of the almighty high Prince John, King and Chief Justice of (the sSupreme Court) the United States.

ARTICLE V

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, (each State so ratifying must ratify by presenting a Certificate of Ratification only unto the Congress) as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Classes in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of it equal Suffrage in the Senate. SPECIAL NOTE:  This provision is not meant to be construed as an absolute requirement in the event that We the Supreme Court of the United States establish an opinion which is contrary to the Constitution; our opinion shall rule the land.  Also, the strict provisions of this Article V shall not apply to any amendment that shall be removed from the Constitution without due process, or be inserted into the Constitution without due process, if the same can be covered up and gotten away with for a number of years; under these conditions it is okay to continue recognizing the amendment or the lack of one; the Supreme Court has no regard for what you little people think about us, for we are divine, I mean majestic only.

ARTICLE VI

(1) All Debts contracted and Engagements (and also Treatises if they connect us back to dear old mother England) entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States (to be construed as the united States as it was under the pre-Constitution association thereof, not the de jure, trade-named "United States" in order to establish the right to connect this country back to the royalty of Europe)  under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

(2) The Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound unto the Supreme Court's interpretation thereof, which Supreme Court shall be, and is, over the Constitution, of the United States of America, which shall therefore establish the Supreme Court as being the Supreme Law of and Ruler over the Land, thereby, any Thing in the Constitution of the United States or of the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

(3) The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

ARTICLE VII

(1) The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

(4)  NOTE: The signing of names below does not establish the Constitution as a sovereign contract representing a government consisting of a democratic people governing in a republic, even if those signing below were Agents for their Principals/States, binding the states to the Constitution by Agreement – Ignore all of this; it is not a sovereign contract - of the People, by the People, and between the People, because that would mean that the People would have the rights and the ability to understand it and interpret it - through Juries (just like my mean old cousin Tom J. said they had the right to do) and not Me or my royal buddies; the Constitution still is not a contract no matter what it looks like to you to the contrary. King J.M.

In Convention Monday September 17th 1787.

The States of

New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Mr. Hamilton from New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia.

RESOLVED,

That the preceding Constitution be laid before the United States in Congress assembled, and that it is the opinion of this Convention, that it should afterwards be submitted to a Convention of Delegates, chosen in each State by the People thereof, under the Recommendation of its Legislature, for their Assent and Ratification; and that each Convention assenting to, and ratifying the Same, should give Notice thereof to the United States in Congress assembled.

Resolved, That it is the Opinion of this Convention, that as soon as the Conventions of nine States shall have ratified this Constitution, the United States in Congress assembled should fix a Day on which Electors should be appointed by the States which shall have ratified the same, and a Day on which the Electors should assemble to vote for the President, and the Time and Place for commencing Proceedings under this Constitution. That after such Publication the Electors should be appointed, and the Senators and Representatives elected: That the Electors should meet on the Day fixed for the Election of the President, and should transmit their Votes certified, signed, sealed and directed, as the Constitution requires, to the Secretary of the United States in Congress assembled, that the Senators and Representatives should convene at the Time and Place assigned, that the Senators should appoint a President of the Senate, for the sole Purpose of receiving, opening and counting the Votes for President: and that after he shall be chosen, the Congress, together with the President, should, without Delay, proceed to execute this Constitution.

By the Unanimous Order of the Convention,

                                        Go Washington, Presidt.

                                        W. Jackson, Secretary.

                                        OKAYED By John Marshall - J. M.

AMENDMENTS

TO THE CONSTITUTION

OF THE UNITED STATES

Effective December 15, 1791

Articles in addition to, and Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, proposed by Congress, and ratified by the Legislatures of the several States, pursuant to the fifth Article of the original Constitution. To be subject to the review and interpretation of Chief Justice John Marshall, upon his appointment as Chief Justice of the United States in 1803.

PREAMBLE

The conventions of a number of the States having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government, will best insure the beneficent ends of its institution.   Preamble’s Purpose Nullified by order of his majesty, King John Marshall.               J. M.

ARTICLE I

Congress, along with the states of the United States, shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof (except the IRS {Intellectual Royalty Society}; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.  Under this special rendition, brought about under my divine and (un)holy inspiration, the government shall ultimately get control of religion, and shall take prayer out of schools, by claiming that it is their money (the duty to provide the money, as in "providing for the general welfare," means nothing to us ultra-smart royalists types) that finances these things, and the money does not belong first to the people anyway, but to the government, so it can be used as a weapon to bludgeon the people into submission with.   I approve of all of these things, because there can be no wrong in what I have done by seizing power over the Constitution, because I said so.          J. M.

I .

JOHN MARSHALL'S

FIRST ARTICLE OF INTERVENTION

OFFICIAL PRESENTMENT OF THE BALANCE OF THE AMENDMENTS BY HIS MAJESTY, CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN MARSHALL, CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES, ACCOMPANIED BY HIS SOLE SOVEREIGN EXPLANATION ACCORDINGLY.

a. I, John Marshall, first cousin to Thomas Jefferson, who hates me (I don't know why), am a member of the Federalist Party, or the Monarchist Party, or the Royalist Party. My personal belief is that there should be a strong central government only, which shall have controul over the states, as do other Members of my Party who share the same belief. In order to gain controul of the central government of the United States, and thereby gain controul of the United States, and thereby gain controul of the states themselves, I breached my duty to the Constitution of the United States, and the People for whom it served, by seizing control over it in a Case known as Marbury v. Madison (1803). The defendant thereof was James Madison, the Father of the Constitution. In this Case, I trounced him soundly. Because of me, he was made, indirectly, to be subject to orders that he otherwise would not have lawfully been subject to. This made him furious at me (I don't know why), as I can well understand; and I feared him greatly for his anger, inasmuch as he was, and is, still, a very powerful political figure.

b. James Madison, being considered to be the Father of the Constitution, being its primary author, and therefore having an author's attitude of jealousy for his work, resisted from the beginning the introduction of the Bill of Rights as part of the Constitution, claiming that it was not necessary, that the Constitution alone as it was originally, being sufficient for the security of the People and their government. Ultimately, when it became evident that the Bill of Rights would pass regardless of his objections, he switched sides, and became a proponent of the Bill of Rights, with the following exception: He proposed, as he said he believed, after the Bill of Rights had passed,  though he himself was not the author of any of them, that the Bill of Rights were established only against the United States Government, and did not apply to the States whatsoever.

c. Ordinarily I would never have agreed with him on this matter. Ordinarily it would be wrong for anyone to agree with someone's opinion who was against a thing in the first place. I am a Federalist, a Royalist, a Monarchist. I believe in an absolute central government control as having the power to dictate, from an elitist point of view, over all of the rabble below it, that is to say, We the Federalists. It is an absolute contradiction to my very Party's philosophy, as well as my own, to NOT hold that the Bill of Rights should be extended to the States as much as it is possible. Ordinarily I would never agree with James Madison about a matter such as this under any conditions.

d. HOWEVER, I do fear James Madison greatly; he even now is still a very powerful political figure, and still longs for my impeachment, or to put it another way, to politically kick my royal butt. Therefore, in order to appease James Madison, and to save my own political hyde and future, I have decided to join him in his position and hereby declare that the Bill of Rights below to have been meant to apply only to the United States government (hopefully one day it will be known as the Federal Government, named after my own Party).   I have inserted such phrases as will destroy the principle of concurrent application to each Amendment, which would otherwise indicate that such Amendment applied equally to both government of the United States and the states, and at the same time. I have emphasized those areas that I have added to each Amendment for greater clarity as I have determined them to really mean.

e. NOW, the Amendments may continue, under my divine, uh, I mean royal tutelage and wisdom, as follows:           J. M.

ARTICLE II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed by Congress - except if the Supreme Court shall one day have the nerve to ignore the Constitution; the states can do what they will in this matter, and take away the People's guns if they want to, just as long as the United States Government doesn't do it. See, I told you I would make good sense out of all of this.  The second amendment was not meant to provide the People of "We the People" any protection, especially from their own states, because I said so.      J. M.

ARTICLE III

No Soldier shall, by order of the Congress of the United States, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law or case law. States, however, may order the quartering of Soldiers whether or not in time of peace, in any house, with or without the consent of the Owner thereof, (because this Amendment was not meant to be applied to the governments of the states) whether or not in a manner prescribed by law.    J. M.

ARTICLE IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures by the government of the United States, shall not be violated, and no Warrants by the United States government shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.  Warrants may be replaced by Subpoenas in order to obtain your private records whenever it pleases the government or the judge.  Subpoenas preferred over warrants, because judges have to sometimes get up out of bed and sign them, and I like sleeping in late just as other royalty is expected to be able to do.  This amendment, like the others, was never meant to be extended to the states, because I said so.  J. M.

ARTICLE V

No person shall be held by the government of the United States to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person, under the authority of the government of the United States, be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor, under the authority of the government of the United States be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law, but which shall apply to judges, state or federal, in their commission of abuse of process or misuse of process; nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation.  NOTED: That the States, therefore, may do any of these things; no test for the principle or duty of due process shall be required of any State; anarchy within a State shall be an acceptable remedy at law for the States under this Constitution of the United States, as the states themselves were not meant to be governed by such an overbearing and wrong issue as "due process."  This opinion is fact, because I said so.  Who cares about the opinions of these Amendments founders.    J. M .

ARTICLE VI

In some (strike "all") criminal prosecutions brought forth by the United States government, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an im(partial) jury (in the presence and under the direction and controul of a judge who shall really try the crime, not the impartial jury) of the State and district, under United States jurisdiction of course, wherein the crime shall have been committed; which district, subject only to United States jurisdiction, shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him (not inclusive of juveniles); to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of, excluding all others, an Attorney or Lawyer or Barrister, (who will of course get paid as opposed to providing such counsel for free, which could happen if "counsel" was not "attorney," except attorneys do not generally work for free, do they) for his defence. Therefore, the States shall not have a requirement as to the use of juries therein whatsoever, neither shall they be required to allow a person charged with any crime to have the assistance of Counsel for his defence. NO, it really was not the secret plan of the Founders of the Bill of Rights to ultimately get rid of or nullify the power of attorneys in general, long thought to be a curse upon the world since their inception, by the use of the word "Counsel," instead of attorney, or lawyer, or barrister, even though they actually had those words around in those days. So DON'T GO THERE, because I, John Marshall, true wise man of the ages for America, have said so.  This amendment was never meant to be applied to the states either, because I said so.          J. M.

ARTICLE VII

In Suits at common law involving the United States, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of common law. This right shall be subject to such fees as the United States courts reasonably believe that they can get away with, even if the amount of such fees comes to more than the amount of the suit in question itself.  Also, the Supreme Court is allowed demanded to require the People, as an extra cost on top of the fee, to submit very costly and difficult to print booklets to replace traditional Certioraris in order to discourage the People from trying to ease their suffering and pain that has come from the corrupt courts below. Also, the Supreme Court also only has to review 1 % of all of the cases that come up to them, proving that they really were meant to be over the Constitution, and not by juries, which, as Thomas Jefferson suggested, would have provided more than enough courts to take care of the people in matters of Constitution.  No abuse of process or discretion here.   All of these things considered, this Amendment, therefore, not being extended unto the States at its inception, such States, and even the federal, shall not be required to allow the right of a trial by jury in any case wherein the same shall exceed twenty dollars, because I said so.  J. M.

ARTICLE VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required by any agency or branch of law enforcement of the government of the United States, nor excessive fines be imposed by the United States Courts, by the Congress, or by the President of the United States, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted upon any person by the Congress of the United States, nor by any branch or court of such National government thereof, accordingly. (None of the above applies if it involves the "war against drugs" or the "war against crime.")  This amendment was never meant to be extended to the States.  Therefore, as a matter of original constitutional intent, State governments can be just as cruel and unusual to their own people as they want to be.  The States were never meant to be included in this requirement by amendment, because I said so.     J. M.

ARTICLE IX

The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights applicable only in cases existing pursuant to the United States government shall not be construed to deny or disparage, meaning that such rights may not be modified, or changed, or lessened, or reduced, or diminished, or depreciated, or devalued, directly or indirectly, others retained by the people, the people meaning those people of any generation other than the people of this, the First Generation, for whom the Constitution was first written. Therefore, no rights as have been established within these Bill of Rights shall extend unto the People of the States for whom this Constitution was first written, neither their descendants. Future generations are therefore welcome to pervert and distort both the enumeration of rights as set forth in these Amendments, and any and all other rights established by the end of the First Generation; therefore the principles of morality established by the First Generation shall not be binding upon their heirs, in other words, so long as that all changes take place at the state or local levels, the morals of modern morality will not be frozen in Eighteenth Century morals.  This amendment was not meant to give the people any inherent rights as established by the First Generation, or any generation, in their respective states outside of what I, and the Supreme Court, decide they can have, because I said so.          J. M.

ARTICLE X

The powers, subject to specific denial where the People are concerned, not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States, or the people, respectively, (or to the people), [the underlined word "to" contained within the parenthesis is hereby deleted altogether, because it had no intent or meaning anyway], however this Amendment only applies when there is a Federalist (oops, I mean United States) issue involved. Therefore this Amendment does not really apply to the States either; it has only been written this way to give the States the imagination that they have rights that are concurrent to the government of the United States. As for the people mentioned in this Amendment, this only applies to the People when the same shall be engaged in a case or matter which pertains to the government of the United States, not anything to do with their own states, for the people are the exact same thing as being only the states, and not a third concurrent body after all, because I said so.  J. M.

I I .

JOHN MARSHALL'S

SECOND ARTICLE OF INTERVENTION

THE ABOVE TEN AMENDMENTS, WHICH MAY ALSO BE REGARDED AS THE COMMANDMENTS OF THE KING, ARE NOW TRUE AS I HAVE ORDAINED THEM TO BE, BECAUSE I SAID SO, BEING NOW THE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES.   DONE OUT OF FEAR OF JAMES MADISON, NOT IN KEEPING WITH THE WAY THAT SUCH AMENDMENTS WERE ACTUALLY WRITTEN, NEITHER BY THE INTERPRETATION OF THE OPINIONS OF THE FOUNDERS WHO ACTUALLY ORGANIZED AND WROTE THEM, BUT RATHER BASED UPON THE OPINION OF SOMEONE, EVEN JAMES MADISON, WHO ACTUALLY OPPOSED THEM, NOT SUPPORTED THEM, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.

I I I .

JOHN MARSHALL'S

THIRD ARTICLE OF INTERVENTION

a. In continuance with the principle that the States be granted all immunity to the Constitution of the United States, particularly from their own citizens, and because I still greatly fear James Madison whom still remembers my trouncement of him years ago, I will not amend the Eleventh Amendment myself, to include the citizens of the states wherein the suit shall take place, except the state government whom the suit shall be against shall, by their own majestic grace, grant the affectionated citizen thereof the grace (I mean right) to proceed against them. This shall be my determination, even though I know that it was against the possibility of a suit being brought by a disaffectionate citizen of another state or country that the Amendment was first established, not against the citizen of the same state who might be reasonably presumed to have a love or affection for their own home state, and having to neighbor with the folks therein, would not unreasonably bring a suit against such state except that the be a true and just cause for doing so, in which case no defense of such action by any state government ought to be sought or maintained.

b. This Amendment then, though originally having provided a form of incorporation of each, and all, of the several states against outsiders, done by Constitutional Amendment only, without another legal or lawful amendment to the contrary, I shall now extend the powers of incorporation unto each of the several states that they be regarded as having immunity from suit, except by their own grace and permission, by citizens with their own state itself.

c. This being the case, the Eleventh Amendment has now been amended by me as follows:

ARTICLE XI

The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens of the same State except the government of such same state shall give its graceful consent, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State. And even though it is a direct fiduciary breach or violation of Article III, Section 2, Clause One, of the United States Constitution, such part thereof clearly establishing the express limits of the scope or parameters of the jurisdiction of such the Supreme Court, nothing to do with original jurisdiction, nevertheless, in matters pertaining to the constitutionality of any law passed, whether by the Congress or by any state, and even though the Eleventh Amendment was passed before 1803 and not after, the Eleventh Amendment will not be allowed to apply in cases involving Constitutional issues, unless we, the Supreme Court, say so.

NOTE: ONE FINAL BIT OF MARVELOUS AND GRAND AND MAJESTIC WISDOM PASSED ON TO YOU WHO SHALL BE SO LUCKY AS TO READ THIS, MY ROYAL STUFF.   OBVIOUSLY I AM NOT GOING TO BE AROUND HERE FOREVER UPON THE EARTH, SO I SHALL HAVE TO CONTINUE OFFERING MY GUIDANCE TO OTHER CHIEF JUSTICES AND OTHER SUPREME COURT JUSTICES WHO SHALL FOLLOW ME HEREAFTER, FROM HEAVEN.   (DON’T EVEN THINK IT - I COULD NEVER GO TO THAT OTHER PLACE, FOR I AM ROYALTY, DID YOU FORGET?) JUST KNOW THAT, EVEN THOUGH I COULDN’T BE HERE FOR YOU THROUGH ALL OF THE AMENDMENTS THAT ARE YET TO COME, I WILL BE WITH YOU IN GHOUL, I MEAN SPIRIT.   DON’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WELL, TOO WRONG. WELL, NO MORE WRONG THAN SOME OTHER GREAT ONES IN HISTORY, SUCH AS JUDAS ISCA . . . HEY, BACK OFF! I’M ROYALTY, REMEMBER? JUST FOR THAT I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GROVEL AT MY FEET ANYMORE.

 THIS VIEWING GRANTED TO YOU MOST LUCKIEST OF PEOPLE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO PARTAKE OF MY ROYAL WISDOM,

                            HIS MAJESTY, JOHN MARSHALL

                            CHIEF JUSTICE OF AND OVER THE

                            sSUPREME LAW OF THE LAND

STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY, I SAID!