"jOKE"

A Screenplay by

Lawrence Peters

&

Karen Parker-Peters
 
 
 
 
 
 

Based on a short story by

Lawrence Peters
















































Lawrence Peters
 
 

1 EXT. MORNING - FIELD 1

We follow feet running and hear the pounding of feet and heavy breathing from running, all with a hollow sound, as if echoing.
VARIOUS VOICES
(Hollow sound) There he is! Up ahead! Come on, this way! Voices sound as if they’re in the distance, hollow and an echo. We see REPORTERS along with two PARTY GIRLS, all dressed in early 60s style clothing.
VARIOUS VOICES
(Hollow sound) What happened? How are you feeling? What did they say? How did it begin? Sound of flashbulb going off and flash of light from still camera which fills the screen to white. 2 INT. NIGHT, KITCHEN 2 60s style chotchkes fill the kitchen. We hear the sound of voices and the tinkle of glasses from a small party in the background.

MAN is at the sink, washing limes. He moves to the cutting board to slice the limes. We hear the PARTY MAN telling a joke and laughter from the other room.

The two PARTY GIRLS, one with a drink, the other with a cigarette, on the other side of the counter from MAN, both laugh at the joke.

MAN
Hey, I’ve got a good one for you. Is this thing on? (He makes as if he’s tapping a mic) The room goes silent.

He begins to tell a joke. As he brings the knife down to the cutting board, we hear the rattle of dishes offscreen.

The PARTY GIRLS hold onto the wall as the countertop shakes.

We see a small light reflected on the knife as it cuts the limes. It grows in intensity and blows the room out to white.

Blackout.
  1. INT. BLACKROOM WITH TABLE 3
MAN is sitting on a shiny table. MAN is wearing a silvery smock. The lights are very bright with black falloff around him. We hear the chitter of ALIEN VOICES.
ALIEN #1
Hello.
MAN
(Bringing his hand up to shield his eyes and to see better) Hello?
ALIEN #1
You go.
ALIEN #2
Now.
MAN
Why? alien voices chitter.
ALIEN #1
Problem.
MAN
Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me? Am I going to die?
ALIEN #2
No body problem. You OK.
ALIEN #1
Mind problem.
MAN
(Grabs his head with his hands) Oh Jesus, oh Buddha, I got a tumor. I knew it, I felt something going on in there! Chittering of Alien Voices.
ALIEN #2
No. No. Other mind problem.
MAN
Body’s good. Brain’s good. What else could … Oh, I get it. I see. What, am I not smart enough for you? Maybe I ain't got enough class for ya, is that it?, huh?, huh?? So I'm no one from nowhere with nuthin', right? Well you’re the ones who picked me. Me! So what is it then, you bastards. You bastards! We hear Alien VOICES say 'you bastards' a couple of times different ways and then stop.
ALIEN #2
You not crazy. We test body. Good. Then mind. Basic model. Also good, but...
MAN
...but?
ALIEN #1
You no funny.
MAN
What the hell do you mean 'no funny'? Silence.
ALIEN #1
Tell joke.
MAN
Joke?
ALIEN #2
No 'chicken/road', no 'knock, knock' no 'two rabbis'.
ALIEN #1
No 'elephant'.
MAN
A joke. Is this thing on? (Again, he makes the tapping noise of a mic) Different shots of MAN attempting to tell different kinds of jokes. We don’t hear complete jokes, just snippets as each blends into the other and as he slowly bombs. 4 EXT. MORNING, FIELD 4 MAN is standing in a field with REPORTERS and PARTY GIRLS from Scene 1 gathered around him. We see a microphone and pads and pencils in his face. MAN’s face goes through a variety of emotions.

We hear hollow voices asking questions, until one comes in clearly.

REPORTER’S VOICE
What did they want? What did they say? MAN begins to realize where he is and he has an eager audience.
MAN
(Taps the microphone) Is this thing on? END
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