| Physician, Heal Thyself |
| Jack had set up a solitaire layout on the small table, but he was having a hard time concentrating on the game. His mind kept wandering down the highway to that modest ranch house beside Law's Garage. Funny; he couldn't remember when he'd first wondered what it would be like to have sex with a man. It wasn't something that had ever been a high priority with him; more curiosity than anything else. But now that he'd actually tried it, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Was it just that it had been so long that any passion was a welcome diversion? Or was it something else? He knew there had been an instant chemistry between Emil and Jim. It was something he didn't really understand; somehow they had both known the possibility was there. He pictured the mechanic in his mind, trying to understand the attraction. Jim wasn't exactly what you'd call movie-star handsome. He'd never be one of the 'beautiful people' in New York. Not that he'd want to be. He wasn't at all like the swishy theater types that seemed to define 'gay' in the city. But he had a certain appeal; a sort of rugged handsomeness. And maybe because it was so opposite to the stereotype, his quiet competence as a mechanic definitely made him more appealing to Jack. He found himself wondering just what they were doing, and getting quite turned on. As the movie in his head played itself out, he forgot all about the solitaire game. He got up and moved over to the couch, stretching his long legs out. As he imagined Jim's blond head bobbing over Emil's lap, his hand crept into his crotch, stroking himself through his jeans. One leg slipped off the edge as he spread his legs, moaning softly. Picturing Jim naked, bent over Emil, drove his fingers to open his fly. He found himself wondering what it felt like, to be penetrated. He'd done a little research at one point, he knew about the effects of stimulating the prostate, but he'd never experienced it. He tried to imagine it as he jerked off, bringing himself to a powerful climax. By the time Emil returned a little later in the evening, Jack had cleaned up and changed into his sweats, and was back at the table playing solitaire. One look at Skoda's face told the story. "You look like you had a good time. I'm surprised you're back so soon!" Emil stashed his jacket and helmet in the small closet and turned to grin somewhat sheepishly at Jack. "That obvious, huh?" Jack chuckled. "Cat that ate the canary. So why so early?" Emil shrugged. "This game doesn't exactly lend itself to long cuddling sessions, Jack. Besides, I wanted to make sure I was gone before his Dad got back from the council meeting." Jack nodded. He'd been kind of surprised earlier when Emil told him he was meeting Jim at the house. But it wasn't his place to judge another man's choices. As long as they were legal. "Would that have been a problem?" "We talked about it a little; apparently the elder Law knows, but doesn't entirely approve. You know, I really kind of feel sorry for Jim. I mean, he seems content with his life, but so many of the things we take for granted just aren't available to him. He told me that the only people who know and fully accept that he's gay are his brother and sister-in-law. And they live down in Delaware. He can't even tell his best friend. It's like we went back in time 10 years or more just by driving a couple of hours." Jack looked up at his friend. "This really got to you, didn't it?" Skoda shrugged. "He's a nice guy. And damned good in bed." That canary-eating cat grin was back. He wasn't quite comfortable with Jack knowing just how much it had affected him. So he hid behind the typical male fixation with sex. "Hung like a horse!" Jack burst out laughing. He realized it was an intentional change of subject, but let it slide. "Well, I'm glad you had a good time." Emil got up and grabbed a glass, returning to the table and pouring himself a drink from Jack's ever-present bottle of scotch. "So what did you do tonight? I see the book didn't last long." That afternoon, Jack had picked up a paperback of a Tom Clancey thriller, but it just hadn't held his attention. Just like the solitaire. Now it was his turn for a sheepish grin. "Tell you the truth, I kept wondering what you two were up to �" At first, Emil was worried that Jack was getting jealous after all. But then he realized the expression on Jack's face didn't support that theory. "We're not the only ones who had a good time?" Jack shrugged; his neck would give Rudolph's nose a run for the money. "What can I say, Emil? It's new and exciting." This boded well for Emil's plans. "So Jack � just how adventurous are you feeling?" Still blushing, Jack raised an eyebrow. "I don't know � what did you have in mind?" "Well, Jim and I were talking. I wouldn't mind seeing him again before we head home. But it�s not likely he'll have the house to himself again soon � but since you're in the game now, I was wondering if maybe �?" "He could come here?" Jack finished the sentence for him. His earlier fantasy of watching them came back to him. Emil nodded. "If you're not interested, it's ok �" He didn't want to push too hard. Jack cut him off. "Don't worry about it, Emil. I'm interested. I guess some of your adventurousness is rubbing off on me!" Skoda laughed. "I don't know, Jack. I think it was there all along �" Jack shrugged. "You're probably right." They spent the next hour or so playing cards and telling dirty jokes. Eventually, they started yawning and decided to call it a night. There was a slightly awkward pause as they faced the 'what bed do I sleep in' question. Jack, already wearing his sweats, just crawled into the bed they'd shared last night. But having just been with someone else, Emil didn't feel quite right about joining him. It wasn't like they were a couple or anything. So he quickly changed into his scrubs and crawled into the other bed. Once he was settled, Jack reached over and shut off the light. "'Night, Emil." "'Night." Laying there in the darkness, Skoda's mind kept going back to his conversation with Jim. The mechanic was basically a quiet man, not a man of many words. Forced to live a lie, and a life without much affection. Seeking physical release with the occasional stranger passing through, but never having anybody to hold close, to cherish. In this rural culture even his so-called best friend wasn't someone he could truly open his heart to. Even if he hadn't been gay. Men like Jim had their own stereotype that they lived up to as fervently as the queens back in the city lived theirs. They drank beer and oogled women and never, ever, cried. Never needed somebody to hold on to. Of course, most of them had wives who held them at night, at least once in a while. It was enough. But Jim had nobody, probably never had. Was that what he had to look forward to now? A life without someone to hold on to? Hell, how long had he been living it already? It had been so long since Suz had really cared about him. Or, he had to admit it, since he cared about her. They had become roommates who happened to share a bed, but none of the intimacy, physical or emotional. Was Jim's life all that different from his? Who knew him � truly KNEW him? Jack was starting to � but that was the first time in a very long time. He had been alone for so long, and hadn't even realized it. Was that why he just couldn't get all that upset about the divorce? It wasn't really changing anything. He rolled over onto his back and let out a heavy sigh. Jack lay in his bed, listening to Emil tossing and turning. He wondered if he should say something, offer to talk, offer something more. He had a pretty good idea what was on the good doctor's mind. The sad loneliness of Jim's situation was reminding him that he was alone now. They hadn't talked much about the divorce since that second night. But Jack knew from experience that even if the grief wasn't on the surface, it was in there somewhere. The feeling that somehow you'd failed at one of the most important things you could ever do. And above all, the loneliness. He remembered those first nights after he'd moved out, how empty his apartment had felt. How empty his LIFE had felt. He hadn't asked for help, though. He was a man, a strong man, he couldn't let another man see his weakness. Which was probably why he'd ended up in the arms of his female assistant. It was the only comfort he could allow himself. Other than the dubious comfort of a bottle of scotch. Emil's mind kept chasing in circles, not getting any closer to an answer. All it did was heighten the loneliness he felt until it became too much to bear. Sure that Jack was sound asleep, he moaned softly in despair. That sound tore at Jack's heart. He knew what his friend was feeling. But this situation was different from his. He and Emil had already started to build a connection. There was no good reason not to offer comfort. "Emil? You ok?" he called softly into the darkness. Startled that his companion was awake, Skoda tried to bury his pain. "Yeah." He couldn't answer beyond that. Jack wasn't buying it. "Doesn't sound like it to me." He threw back the covers and got up, moving to sit on Skoda's bed, laying a comforting hand on the doctor's arm. Emil looked up at Jack, backlit by the moonlight streaming in the small window. The craggy face was lined with concern, his eyes full of compassion and understanding. Jack's head nodded towards the far side of the bed. "Move over." Skoda hesitated; this was something new, different. But he couldn't deny that he desperately wanted � needed � something. He shifted over slightly, making room for Jack to slip in beside him. When Emil looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes, Jack smiled softly, reaching out to touch the other man's shoulder. There was nothing sensual or erotic about that touch; it was purely for comfort. "Emil," Jack spoke softly. "I know what you're going through. The loneliness, the feelings of failure. Jim reminded you of all that, didn't he? Let me help." Skoda didn't protest, allowing Jack to pull him close. Jack's arms wrapping around him felt good, comforting, reassuring. He truly wasn't alone after all. Funny how all his years of medical and psychological training hadn't prepared him to face his own crisis. How many patients had he advised through something like this? He'd always urged them to just ride out the low spells; it might be a clich�, but things usually DID tend to look better in the morning. But damn, it was a lot easier to get to morning if you had somebody to hold on to � ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sunlight streaming in through the small window woke Jack the next morning. Emil was still snuggled up close to him, one arm over Jack's chest. Jack smiled softly, remembering. They hadn't said anything, he'd just pulled his friend close, and soon they both relaxed into sleep. Jack silently studied the man curled up around him. There was something different about his mood this morning. It was as if the last barrier between them had finally fallen last night. Looking down at Emil's sleeping face, he felt a tenderness growing in his heart. He knew it was partly borne of sympathy for what his friend was going through. But it was more than that. He was beginning to care about the man. Their friendship was starting to grow into something stronger. It seemed to Jack that that ought to scare him. Discovering that not only could he enjoy gay sex, he could actually develop feelings for another man. But it was happening so slowly, so naturally, that it wasn't scary. It took a while for him to realize that his fingers were tracing lightly over Skoda�s arm, back and forth, He smiled at the intimate, affectionate gesture. He was still smiling when he realized a pair of light blue eyes had focused on him. �Hey,� he said softly. It had been remarkably reassuring to wake up like that, feeling that gentle touch, the warmth of another body beside him, rather than on the other side of the bed. It was a feeling he�d almost forgotten. �Hey yourself.� Jack shifted, sliding out from beneath Emil, rolling onto his side to face his companion. One hand came up to stroke Emil�s face. �Better this morning?� Skoda nodded. �Thanks.� They just looked at each other for a moment, then Jack leaned in for a kiss, slow, tender, undemanding. As they parted, dark eyes met pale ones. Skoda smiled. �Nice way to wake up �� �Mmm �� Jack agreed, running his hand down the side of Emil�s body. That lit the spark. They kissed again, this time getting their whole bodies into it. Tenderness gave way as passion grew. �How�d you like to take this into the shower? I think there�s room for both of us in there �� Emil asked as his hand burrowed into Jack�s sweats. The idea of wet, slippery bodies was too good to resist even if he�d had the mental capacity to do so. �God, yes!� he cried. Emil wasn�t entirely sure if that was in response to his words or his touch, but he decided to take it on face value. �Come on, then.� Jack followed him out of bed into the small bathroom. They skinned out of their sleepwear, leaving it to fall on the floor. Soon the room was steamy with hot water and hotter loving. Emil stood behind Jack, his soapy hands wrapped around Jack�s chest, edging ever lower. Jack could feel Emil�s cock pressing tight up against his ass cheeks, and his fantasies of last night came back to him. He moaned and wiggled his butt, encouraging more. �Oh, you like that, do you?� that deep bass voice asked seductively. Instead of their original target, Emil�s hands diverted over Jack�s hips, around to his backside. Parting the cheeks, he ran one soapy hand between them, sliding down to tease Jack�s balls from behind. A shiver ran through Jack�s entire body as a small whimper escaped his throat. Encouraged by the reaction, Emil grabbed the soap and worked up a really good lather on his cock. Pressing close again, he began humping Jack�s ass, not actually penetrating him, but rubbing the outside. Jack was electrified by what he was feeling. Being touched where nobody else had ever touched him before. He was surprised at how sensitive he was back there. Small sounds of pleasure kept coming out of his throat. And then a soapy hand wrapped itself around his cock, jerking him in time with Emil�s thrusts. It was all he could do to keep from coming. Finally, he couldn�t contain it any longer, his seed shooting in long spurts up the side of the shower wall as Emil�s spilled over his ass. They sagged against the shower walls for a while, breathing hard. At one point, Jack felt Emil�s hands gently cleaning away the mess on his backside. He turned so that the water bouncing off his body would rinse away the remains of his own mess from the stall walls before finally exiting the small shower. Emil was already out, dried, and stepping back into his scrubs. Grinning, he handed Jack a towel. �You did like that, didn�t you?� �Whatever gave you that idea?� Jack asked with a grin as he finished drying off. �Last night I got to wondering what it would be like �although I admit I�m glad you didn�t try for the whole enchilada just yet.� Skoda leaned against the open doorframe. �That � that takes a certain amount of preparation, both physical and emotional, Jack. I�d never spring it on you like this.� Jack nodded. �Thanks. So, what should we do today?� Skoda shrugged. �I don�t know. I figured that now that you�ve got your bike back, we�d ride.� �Sounds like a plan. Let�s get something to eat, and hit the road!� Continut on to Chapter 8 Back to the Story Index Send me some feedback Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 7 |