| Faith Chapter 4 |
| Jack parked his bike in the garage next to One Hogan Place, headed up to his office and quickly changed into a suit. It was early; nobody else was around yet. He went to his desk and sat down to collect his thoughts. Somebody had apparently thrown out the empty bottle he had left behind last week; but his glass was still sitting on the desk. He picked it up, wondering what to do with it. It wasn�t going back into the bottom drawer; thankfully that was now empty. He wanted to do something symbolic, breaking the link to his past. He raised the glass, as if in a toast, �To scotch,� and flung the glass into the trash can with quite a bit more force than he expected. It shattered into a million pieces with a sound like a gunshot, spraying some of the shards across his office. // Guess I was more angry than I thought � but I do feel better, somehow. // It was as if in naming his pain, he was better able to face it. He sighed, and went to find a broom to clean up the shards before anybody else came in. Nora came in as he was sweeping up the mess. �Jack? You doing custodial work now?� He looked up in surprise. �Nora! I, uh, had a little accident here.� Nora came into his office and looked at the glass shards in his trash can. �Awfully small pieces for a glass accidentally knocked off your desk, Jack.� He sighed. �It wasn�t an accident, Nora. I shattered it intentionally. You should have heard it � very satisfying.� He looked up into her eyes. �It won�t happen again, Nora. I promise you. You will never see another bottle of scotch in this office, ever. And I hope you won�t take it personally if I refuse yours in the future. I know it won�t be easy around here, but I don�t drink anymore.� Nora�s face showed her surprise. �Jack, is that really necessary?� He nodded. �Nora, I hurt the person I love because of that poison. I put my job on the line. It�s just not worth it. Lennie took me to an AA meeting on Saturday. I know it will be hard, but yes. I have to do this. For him � for myself. I hope I can count on your support?� Nora nodded. �Of course, Jack. And Jack � about Det. Briscoe . . .� Jack cut her off. �I should have told you, Nora. I just couldn�t. I�m sorry.� Nora shrugged. �I understand now, Jack. I think I owe you an apology. I overreacted. Jack, I�ve known you for a long time. I thought I knew you, and I come in here on Monday and find out you�re not who I thought at all. It didn�t make sense. I didn�t know what to believe. I jumped to the wrong conclusion � that the rumors had always been true, and you�d been lying all along. Det. Briscoe cleared that up yesterday. You still should have informed me of the exposure; but now I can understand why you didn�t. I can�t let this situation just disappear; I�ve entered a formal reprimand on your record for the events last week. But I�m not mentioning the rest of the situation.� Jack sighed. �Thanks, Nora. It�s more than I had any right to expect.� �Well, there is one more thing, Jack.� At his raised eyebrow, Nora continued. �You�re going to have to break in a new secretary. Miss Robinson requested a transfer after last week.� Jack grimaced. �Well, I guess I did it to myself.� Nora chuckled. �That�s a �punishment� I wish I could rescind, Jack. And given the rumor mill these days, you may find it hard to find a willing candidate.� �Still, better than being the candidate myself.� Nora nodded and laid her hand on Jack�s arm. �You�ve got good friends, Jack. That�s a gift beyond measure.� Jack smiled as she left for her own office. Life finally settled down to something resembling normal. Jack found a new secretary. Eventually, people stopped staring at them. They went to AA meetings together, and Jack continued his quest for something to believe in. He was looking forward to the end of the month; he had made plans to spend the Memorial Day holiday visiting his friend and mentor, Adam Schiff, at his home upstate. Adam had spent time in Switzerland last year after his retirement, but the birth of his great-grandson had brought him home earlier this year. He had so much he wanted to talk with Adam about . . . Lennie sat at his desk digging through a mountain of paperwork. It was Friday afternoon, the beginning of the Memorial Day weekend. Which for him just meant work. In fact, he was feeling particularly grumpy because he was going to have to do uniform duty on Monday, since so many uniforms had the holiday off with their families. // I�m getting too damned old to be pounding a beat! // he groused. And the fact that Jack was leaving tomorrow to go visit Adam had nothing to do with his foul mood. Nothing at all. His phone rang. �Briscoe.� �Lennie, please come into my office.� Van Buren�s voice sounded odd; he looked across the room toward her office and was shocked to see the raw pain on her face. He hung up the phone and hurried to the office, closing the door behind him. �Lieutenant?� �Rey just called, Lennie. Debra passed away this morning.� Lennie collapsed into a chair, burying his face in his hands. �Oh, god.� They sat together in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Lennie looked up, wiping away a tear. �How�s he handling it?� Anita shook her head. �How do you think? He worshipped her.� Lennie nodded. �Lennie, why don�t you take the rest of the day and go over there. He could really use a friend right now.� Lennie bowed his head, devastated. �He was there for me when I lost Cathy. I want to be there for him now, but he won�t let me, Lieutenant. Not now.� Anita looked confused. �What the hell are you talking about, Lennie?� He looked at her. �What do you think? You know what the Catholic church teaches about gays.� �You�ve got to be kidding, Lennie! I know he�s devout, but that makes no sense. He knows you.� She shook her head and sighed. �When did this happen?� Lennie told her about their lunch after Lennie�s disappearance. �He knew then, Lieutenant. He said Debra�s time was short. I think he�s just so overwhelmed by everything that he�s not thinking straight. Maybe after this is all over, he�ll have time to think it through. But right now I�d just add to his pain, and I won�t do that to him.� Anita nodded. �I hear you. Are you going to go to the funeral?� Lennie nodded. �When is it?� �Monday morning. There will be viewing at the Funeral Home tomorrow and Sunday. Will you come with me?� �I don�t know, Lieutenant �� �Please, Lennie. Give him a chance.� �OK.� She reached across the desk and squeezed his arm. �Go on home, Lennie. You�re not going to get anything else done today.� �Thanks, Lieutenant.� Jack was stretched out on the couch in his office, paying more attention to the beautiful spring day out the window than the book in his hands. He was looking forward to the road trip tomorrow, heading upstate to visit Adam. The only thing that would make it better was if Lennie was coming with him. But he knew Lennie was right; he needed some time to talk with his old friend, and besides, Lennie had to work the holiday weekend. He was already grousing about drawing uniform duty . . . He was so far away he didn't even hear the footsteps approaching his door. Lennie stood in the doorway for several minutes, just watching him. // Will I lose him like this someday? Or will he be the one to face the loss? // "Jack." The sound of Lennie's voice brought him out of his reverie, a delightful surprise. But the minute he saw his lover�s face, he knew something was wrong. He climbed off the couch. "Lennie? What's wrong?" "Debra Curtis died this morning, Jack." Lennie collapsed into his arms. "Oh, Lennie, I'm sorry." He pulled his lover down to the couch, sitting beside him, holding him close. Lennie was trembling, but still fighting the tears. He looked up at Jack. "He didn't even call me, Jack. Van Buren gave me the news. I've tried to call him, I don't know if he's just not there or if he's avoiding me." Finally the tears spilled over. Jack held him, gently stroking his hair, making soft reassuring sounds, until Lennie pulled back and took a deep breath. Jack gently brushed the remaining tears from his cheeks. "Lennie, I'll cancel the trip; I can go see Adam some other weekend." "No, Jack, you need this. I'll be busy working; I'll be ok. Really." Jack looked deep into his eyes, and knew he wouldn't be OK, but he also wouldn't take no for an answer. "Allright. When is the funeral?" "Monday morning." "OK, then I'll come home Sunday evening instead. I want to be there." Lennie nodded, grateful. Jack hugged him. �Tell you what. I�m not getting anything done here anyway. Why don�t you head home; I�ll go fill Nora and Abbie in and meet you there in a little bit. OK?� Lennie leaned against him, squeezing back. �Thanks, Jack.� Jack turned and kissed him gently. �See you in a bit, then.� They got up from the couch, Lennie heading for the elevator while Jack went to share the bad news. They spent a quiet evening at home. For once, Lennie just wasn�t in the mood to fool around, so they spent most of the evening curled up on the couch watching a movie. Jack wanted to get an early start Saturday morning, and Lennie had to work, so they called it an early evening. But once they got into bed, Lennie got restless. He had been feeling numb since losing it in Jack�s office that afternoon, but somehow now he needed to feel alive. Jack was just drifting off to sleep when Lennie began gently caressing him. He moaned softly at the touch, not quite waking up. Lennie was torn; he wanted his lover�s touch, but he hated to wake Jack. He leaned over, just barely brushing his lips over Jack�s, then gently tracing them with his tongue. Jack smiled, still not waking up. Lennie licked again, and this time the lips parted to let him in. The kiss built in intensity as Jack woke up, his eyes fluttering open as his arms wrapped around Lennie and pulled him down on top. Lennie pulled back, reaching out to caress his lover�s face. �Sorry, Jack. I really didn�t want to wake you. I just needed . �� Jack put his fingers over Lennie�s lips. �Ssh. It�s ok. Nice way to wake up.� He pulled Lennie back down and ran his hands from scalp to ass during the next kiss. Lennie moaned. �Oh, Jack .. .� Jack gently rolled them over so he was on top. He kissed his way down to Lennie�s throbbing cock and gently sucked it into his mouth, pivoting around so that his own cock was within his lover�s reach. Lennie moaned and reached out to caress Jack again, spreading the natural lubricant around. He felt Jack�s moan more than he heard it. They worked at each other, gradually picking up the pace until they just couldn�t stand it anymore. As Jack felt himself getting close, he repositioned on top of Lennie for a true 69. Lennie eagerly sucked the engorged cock into his mouth. It wasn�t long until they both exploded. When it was over, Jack crawled off, turned around and settled down beside Lennie, gently tracing his fingers down his lover�s chest. �Feel better now?� Lennie smiled. �Yeah. Thanks.� Jack bent to kiss him, then snuggled close as Lennie rolled onto his side, Jack spooned behind him. Continue on to Chapter 5 Send me some feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Yes, that's an homage to Spider Robinson's Callahan's stories at the beginning . . . |
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