DISHONEST FARTERS - they who fart and then blame the dog
FOOLISH FARTERS - they who keep their farts inside
PROMPT FARTERS - they who always have a fart ready
MISERABLE FARTERS - they who cannot fart
STRATEGIC FARTERS - they who fart and cough at the same time
CLEVER FARTERS - they who fart and cough at the same time
DISAPPOINTED FARTERS - those whose farts do not emit odour
ACUTE FARTERS - those whose fart smells indicate their recent diet
MEAN FARTERS - those who fart in bed and shake covers over spouse
(Eds. do not recommend this tactic)
VAIN FARTERS - they who love the smell of their own farts
AMIABLE FARTERS - they who love the smell of others farts
CONFIDENT FARTERS - they who let out really loud farts
SHY FARTERS - those who let out silent farts
SCIENTIFIC FARTERS - those who bottle their own farts
UNFORTUNATE FARTERS - those who start to fart but shit instead
NERVOUS FARTERS - those who stop in mid fart
HONEST FARTERS - they who confess to the fart
JEALOUS FARTERS - they who claim the farts of others
INSECURE FARTERS - they who compare their fart quality to others
THE FARTERS FARTER - those rare farters whose farts clear moving vehicles