| whats on my mind....... |
10.22.04 hey. well, im sick. just a cold. i think it is because the weather has been an odd mixture of cold and hot. today marks the end of the first nine weeks of the school year. the kids arent at school. i turned in grades this morning. i have about 115 kids, and 38 of my students are failing. it is hard for some kids to understand that you actually have to do your work to pass, even when you like the class. um...i have not mentioned this yet, but i recently saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and loved it. erik watched it the other night with andy and he loved it, too. i think i might buy it next payday. josh, who hooked me up with eternal sunshine, shared some seinfeld with me the other night, so i feel more enlightened now. how did i miss seinfeld? it's official. i am speaking at vespers at milligan on november 7th. it has been hard to make myself grade papers when i really want to go ahead and start planning for vespers. i started writing a new song last night. that was really random. no clue if i'll actually finish or if anyone will ever hear it. sorry, no news on california. romeo, my dog, is looking great. he's really filled out in the last month. i will never be one of those people who's obsessed with their pet, but he is a really cool dog. greg and jess are coming into town next weekend, so im looking forward to that b/c i havent seen them in a while. they are counting down the days to thier wedding. speaking of which, i need to find a dress for that thing. oh yeah, matt wertz. once again, he was great. sure, he made some mistakes and even forgot the lyrics to his own song, but he was so funny that it's forgiveable. josh's friend, kevin, was in town and we went to chillis after the concert and hung out. it was fun. josh said he thinks im funny. i dont know .... today, i miss dimitri. no particular reason, just do. well, im hungry, so im going to find some food. take care .... 10.13.04 hey. a ridiculous amount of things have happened in the last twelve days. i'll work my way backwards, if that's ok with you. yesterday was my moms 54th birthday. erik had a concert at armstrong, so dad and erik set it up for the choir to sing happy birthday to her. dad i in L.A., so it was kinda weird without him here. on monday i flew back from my very first visit to california. even though everyone spoke english, in many ways it struck me as being a foreign country. i was in lake forest, and everything in that area is practically brand new. i grew up in the 13th colony, so it was weird. i think the area as a whole lacks what i would consider personality. there are mostly white people there, so that was interesting, too. not like johson city, either. they arent all related or go to bluegrass festivals. there are so many starbucks it is the most out of control thing ive ever seen. there are nothing but strip malls and neighborhoods, and they all look the same. there is no humidity. everyone seems to be pretty wealthy. like i said, it is a different world than i have been to before. i like the staff at saddleback that i met. i hung out with most of the people on the senior high ministry team while i was there. my favorite part of the weekend was meeting the kids. i wasnt so much overwhelmed with the experience as i am with the thought of actually moving out there. in some ways, i have a major peace about making the change. in others, i know it will be hard. at this point, if God doesnt want me in california, i think he will have to put a roadblock in the way. im pretty sure thats where im supposed to be, as scary as it sounds to admit it. in other news, i think i will be speaking at vespers at milligan later this semester. i am so excited about that, you dont understand. this week is homecoming at windsor and the kids are crazy. yesterday was "tacky day" and the funny thing was there were a few students who made it hard to tell if they were participating or not b/c their clothes looked pretty much like they do every day. today is the PSAT, and i feel bad for the kids having to take the test in the middle of homecoming week. it's hard to hit the pause button on all the madness. im torn between the matt wertz thing and the homecoming game friday night. i know that both are going to be really good. i think ill go to the concert first, and then head over to the game. well, if you want more details about my trip, and there are a lot, you can ask me yourself. have a good one ..... 10.1.04 MATT WERTZ IS COMING TO SAVANNAH. better yet, the concert is free. heck yes. in other news, i only have seven days before i go to california. you wont believe this: yesterday, i bought my very first country cd (*note- the moffats doesnt count b/c that was a tape). i bought rascal flats. and it wasnt even like i thought about it. i saw the cd, thought to myself, "hmmm . . . ive heard theyre good, " and paid for it. its not too bad, actually. i think my appreciation for bluegrass has enlightened me- to an extent. i also got the new jason mraz live cd and dvd. great stuff. i baked cookies for all of my classes for today. of course they loved it. and since we were going with a kindergarten theme for the day, i decided to have "storytime with ms. reagan". i read to them. thats right. picture book and all. i chose the sneetches , by dr. seuss, b/c it has a great message that is highly applicable to teenagers. the kids liked that, too. the sneetches thing was completely last minute. last minute as in i went to barnes and noble last night at ten o'clock to buy the book. while i was there, i succumbed to one of my weaknesses in life- buying journals. it's like this thing with me- i always own two more journals than i need. the journal i bought is super cool though. too bad i wont get to write in it for another year or so. later kid ps- whoever sent me that weird bottle: congratulations. it is driving me insane. thanks. 9.26.04 so . . . i wish that you, the reader, could picture the messy, complex collage that currently represents my brain. i feel like it's time to post an entry, but im not sure how to summarize my life at the moment. in other news ...i still have no idea who sent me the weird bottle. way to go . . .ya jerk. . . two weeks until i go to california . . . i just feel like a crappy excuse for a human being at the moment. i have been very selfish over the last couple of months. when i say selfish, i mean it has infiltrated just about every aspect of my life. it's been completely out of control. i know that i have made a lot of decisions that have not honored God. highlight of this past week: thursday night we had coffeehouse at school. i sang this song called "my child" that God gave me this past summer. well, on friday this kid i dont know came into my room and told me that he really liked the song and that a lot of what the song said was what hes going through right now. it was so freakin cool. it was proff to me that God is constantly at work around us. hopefully this week i wont be as selfish . . . 9.16.04 today i received what is by far the most bizarre thing i have ever gotten in the mail. someone from johnson city ( on the milligan campus) mailed to me an empty plastic container that could be used for storing liquid, or perhaps collecting loose change. whoever sent it wrote my name and address on the side of the bottle with a black sharpie and then left a note saying, "have a drink to fun memories". the person did not sign it. now, after thinking about it for a few minutes, no one who crossed my mind really seemed to make sense. i dont think it was a girl. if a girl came up with something that random and funny on her own, then id be impressed. who was it? tim morton? chris eger? john hammon? jeff harbin? travis smithdeal? richard kenny? kenny laughters? i know it wasnt dimitri because hes in florida. finally, brad parkers name flashed on the screen, and i laughed outloud b/c even though that idea does not explain the container, somehow it wouldnt surprise me if brad sent it b/c its so random. so, thats my guess. if i guessed wrong, and it was you, are you going to tell me? if i never find who it was, i can live with that. i just hope the person who sent it knows that i appreciate the randomness. keep it real, and keep it random . . . 9.8.04 i found out last night that i am flying out to california on october 7th. i still cant believe im actually doing this. in other news, romeo is huge, and i was told that hes probably going to get about fifty pounds heavier before hes done growing. crazy. eriks 19th birthday is this friday. i feel old. school is going well. it was kinda rocky for a week or so, but this week ive had my A game on, so weve had a lot of fun. we listened to the old arrested development song, mr. wendal, today and talked about judging people. it was pretty good. a lot of the kids liked the song even though it is from over ten years ago. several of my students who are christians have let me know in subtle ways about their faith. it is encouraging and makes me want to find ways to challenge them to be bold in their faith. this just in (im sitting in my classroom after school)- one of my students from last year and current homeroom student, darnell, just came by to say hey. since we were the only ones in the room, and he and i are pretty close, i asked him something that ive been wanting to ask him since last spring. in homeroom, he sits next to this beautiful, sweet girl named arian. ive thought for a long time that he likes her. well, i got him to admit it. it was the cutest thing ever. i even told him that when i made the new seating chart for homeroom that i let him sit next to arian. he just grinned...i loved it, and i knew he didnt mind me picking on him. he even thanked me for keeping him next to her. it's the only time in my life ive come close to playing cupid. ok, ive got papers to grade . . . 9.1.04 a message on my cell phone from greg sykes. dated 8.31.04: "hey there, sweet thing. maybe you should call me sometime . . . uh, you know . . . just holla back, you know . . . hey, i'm listening to the radio, and i hear the thing saying that ga is no longer dead last in education (*) in the country, but , um, that we have surpassed south carolina. i think you and all your students should turn to the north and give them all the bird or something for beating them . . . round of applause . . . that's awesome . . . good job guys . . . It's all you though, i mean, you're the one teaching now. It's definitely all you, b/c you're the new teacher and so you're turning things around single-handedly. I mean, that's amazing for an entire state school system. Brilliant . . . abso-freaggin-lutely brilliant. Another round of applause. Bravo . . . Bravo . . . Way to go, Laura. I'm demanding a raise for you. As a matter of fact, i'm gonna call Mrs. herman and i'm gonna call the superintendent and i'm gona say, 'guys, look you hired this girl, and now you're no longer dead last. What does that tell you? it's time for a raise.' tell you what, you can thank my by taking me out to Logan's for dinner one night. holla back. bye." (*) actually, it is our SAT scores that have improved. ga was not and is not "dead last" in the country in education. 8.28.04 sup. so, school started and life is crazy once again. i had an eleventh grade class for all of five seconds before the counselors determined there were too many freshmen and that they needed to add another freshmen comp/lit class. you guessed it. i lost my juniors and got another freshmen class. my new kids are cool though, and some of them were even transfered from one of my other classes, so it was an easy trasition for some of them. a lot of my old kids come to say hey all the time, and i love it. i am going to fly out to california sometime in mid-september to check things out with the church job-offer. no idea yet how thats going to turn out. in other news, i will be hanging out with milligan people next weekend, so if thats you, holla. lets go hiking... i bought a few canvases and acryllics the other day, but i havent decided what to paint yet. email me your votes if you have a good idea. [email protected] update: i have seen napoleon dynamite four times. never in my life have i paid more than twice to see a movie in the theater. either it's that good, or there is something seriously wrong with me. for the record, i am not going to see it again . . . in the theater. um . . . i got nothin. my brain is fried from school...later.... 8.9.04 NATION OF CRUNK these updates are out of control. ive been online way too often. today i find myself missing kenny laughters. so kenny, if you read this, i miss ya, man. i saw napoleon dynamite for the second time. ive got one thing to say: the man can dance. i go back to school tomorrow and im really excited. im dang excited about meeting my new kids. i will have four freshmen classes and one junior class. now, you gotta be kinda rough with the freshmen, but you can joke a little earlier with the juniors, so when they start on monday, my first words to my juniors will be, : ok, pass up your summer reading crap. see, the truth is, i just found out a couple of weeks ago that i would have juniors, so i havent read any of their books, and i dont see any point in making them think i know what im talking about. because i ask my kids to always be honest with me, i dont see the positives in misrepresenting myself the first time we meet. in other news, im looking forward to some friends by the names of josh and chap to get back in savannah. hurry please.... today is my last day of summer, but just so you know, im going to take an early fall tour and visit milligan, atlanta, and even a little of texas before you know it, so ill see ya. no further news on cali, but i think im going to fly out there and check it out, so if i do, ill let ya'll know how it goes. ok im out...peace.... 8.6.04 last night i was riding around with the windows down and my speakers blaring sequence #3 (cool hand luke). i felt kinda like life was in slow motion. i was in a thinking mood, and we all know that can be dangerous and exciting with a hint of melancholy. it was all three last night. i cant just up and move to freakin california (if that comment confuses you, see previous entry). im a hardcore dirty south east coast girl who prefers the crappy beach waves at tybee and tall green trees every five inches of earth. while it is very true that you can take me out of the ghetto, but you cant the ghetto out of me, that still doesnt make the thought of moving to cali any easier. not that im going, just kind of thinking in circles.... i dont like not knowing. i really wish something really obvious would happen to let me know one way or the other, but we all know how likely that is. i keep suggesting to God that this would be a gresat time to settle my five and a half years of singleness, but so far no response. God has a great sense of humor. someday we'll laugh about it... 8.1.04 God is out of control. i like im taking crazy pills (name that movie). since i last wrote, i took my first trip to oklahoma and it was great. i navigated my own trip, and i never bothered to notice that i was going to drive through part of mississippi, so that was a surprise. i freaked out when i saw the sign "welcome to mississippi." it was great. wish you had been there. anyhow, josh goleman and the gang showed me how they do it tulsa style. it was very different from savannah, but it was cool. hectorville, anyone? (if you want to know, youll have to ask) hmmm...what else... oh, senior high camp for savannah christian. good times. God really challenged a lot of the kids, as well as the adults. for those of you who were at camp, here are the lyrics for "my child", the song i sang sunday night in case you wanted to see them.. oh yeah! greg and jessica got engaged, so thats dang exciting. theyre getting married on january 8th and i get to be a groomsman (in a dress). hmm... this past week was one of the most amazing and challenging weeks ive ever had as a christian. i worked as a counselor at youth in ministry, a program designed to encourage high schoolers to begin seeking Gods call in their lives, specifically in terms of vocation. it is based at milligan in east tennessee. it was so great to be back in those mountains and hills and around old and new friends alike. the staff was incredible- big ups to melanie veasey, beth harkey, becca bistis (froever archer to me), johnathan bickel, keely mcinturf, travis smithdeal, and jessica carver- i loved being with you all. marc imboden and band led worship for us and it was great. im really so worn out i cant verbalize what i really want to say about this past week other than it is a beautiful and precious thing to be a part of the body of christ. so the reason i started out this entry stating that God is out of control is because hes thrown something at me that i was not expecting. after spending a week trying to help kids clarify what steps God may be calling them to take in their lives, i receive a phonecall that shook me. long story short, a youth pastor in california called wanting to talk to me about a possible job. how, the crazy thing is, i just went through this six months ago. i had an offer to work at savannah christian as a discipleship pastor with the senior high. i turned it down b/c it was not where my heart was and i knew that God was not calling me to that ministry. but, here i am, six months later and in the same boat, only it's freakin california. i have no idea. right now it doesnt matter whether or not im supposed to move out there. what matters is that God is trying to teach me something and i desperately want to know what it is. unfortunately i have a feeling that im going to have to wait a while to find out. oh, for those of you who wanted to read my letter to the editor, i will post it in a few days. so thats whats going on with me. 6.26.04 a few quick things. my grandmother (ruby aline ghent hodge) passed away this past tuesday. im doing well with it. the funeral was in atlanta (she was buried next to my grandaddy) on thursday. it was the first time i cried. i cried the whole time, but afterwards i was fine. i was reminded that funerals are for the people left behind. in other news, i REALLY want to see this movie called napoleon dynamite. i dont know if it's going to be released here or not. probably not b/c savannah seems to be dumb about movies. check out the site and watch the trailer. ( note- ben stephenson- for some reason, a good one, this makes me think of you (cause you got skills)) what else....i may have gotten a job as a host at lady and sons downtown, so thatd be cool. (note- extra money = cool) i went to the beach twice this week and that was great. did you know that you get a ticket if you park against traffic on one of the side streets where there is no freakin traffic. bloodsuckers. i leave for oklahoma on thursday i think and im excited about that. oh yeah- dodgeball = great movie- go see it.... but dont stay for whats shown after the credits- trust me. ben stiller + vince vaughn = a movie that people will quote over and over, and probably mess it up, but everyone will know what "that guy" meant, so theyll laugh, too. a'ight. im out. 6.17.04 friends! it's been FOR-EV-ER (as stated by squints in the sandlot). i dont have a lot of time, so ill try to sum things up quickly. lifeguard plans fell through, but it's cool. im having a good time hanging out with romeo, my puppy, who is growing by the second (hes out of control). the past few weeks have allowed for me to think a lot. lately ive mainly been focused on friendships. dimitri sent me this great letter of thanks and a "best teacher award" all the way from colorado. ive been hearing from people all over the country and even a few foreign ones, so thanks if thats been you. im planning a trip to tulsa, ok, to visit my buddy josh and see what ive been missing in life seeing as how ive never been to oklahoma. i think the musical, which i watched many times as kid, somehow influenced me to never want to go, so hopefully this trip will do me some good. i'll also be making a stop in the atlanta and johnson city areas at some point, so holla if you wanna hang out. the biggest thing going on in my life right now is God. hes really opened my eyes in the past few weeks. ive had to face some truths about myself that arent too pleasent, but God is really good about cleaning stuff like that up. ive been reading in esther (of all things) and also revelation. two unbelievably different books of the bible, but two very interesting and thought-provoking books nonetheless. i dont have the internet at my apartment yet (this relates to money, and money is one of the things God is working with me on), so i walk occasionally to the library to check email. if you happen to read this, send me an email. downtown in the summer seems kinda lonely, dog or no dog. ok, so i love you guys and hope youre doing well. some of you will be getting letters and maybe even a cd from me in the mail before the summers up, so keep an eye out.... peace 5.24.04 well, the school day is coming to a close. tomorrow is my last day with my first year students. because of final exams, i see only two classes a day for the last three days of school. ive been singing a song called "remember," written by my friend, leslie dudney. i sat down the other night and figured out how to play it on guitar b/c i thought it was appropriate for my kids. i really do love them, despite the fact that i was disappointed in some of their final drama projects for romeo and juliet. even though there had been a ridiculous ammount of drama and emotional stress, today did have a couple of highlights. my favorite was jerry.... he originally came down from jersey, and he was the most country northern kid id ever met. it took a while for me to get him to do work for me b/c he thought he was a thug, but after a while i must have said something right b/c he started doing really well. hes a really smart kid. well, one day jerry was absent and a girl from the office came in with a withdrawl form. it said jerry was going to florida. i was crushed. i really liked the kid. well, here we are at the end of may and about seven months later. i was sitting at my desk grading journal entries on "rainy days make me...." and there's a knock on my door. jerry walked in. i couldnt believe it. hes back in town for the summer. i was really glad to see him and really touched that he thought to come back and visit me. i knew i took this job for a reason.... 5.12.04 some poetry from christina rossetti from a better resurrection my life is like a broken bowl, a broken bowl that cannot hold one drop of water for my soul or cordial in the searching cold; cast in the fire the perished thing; melt and remould it, till it be a royal cup for Him, my King: o Jesus, drink of me. the lowest place give me the lowest place: not that i dare ask for that lowest place, but Thou has died that i might live and share Thy glory by Thy side. give me the lowest place: or if for me that lowest place too high, make one more low where i may sit and see my God and love Thee so. 5.11.04 i was almost a good person yesterday. i was driving down victory drive on my way to young life. i was running late and spotted a young man walking in the same direction i was headed, but on the opposite side of the street. i could tell he was carrying something awkward and heavy. there is a median that runs along victory, and a turn-around was approaching, so i pulled into the left lane, put on my blinker, and started heading towards the young man thinking that i would help him out and give him a ride to wherever he was going with that bag that was too heavy for him. if this was God calling me to be his servant, i failed. after i turned around, i slowed down in the right lane and put on my caution lights. my eyes searched for him among the trees, houses, and sidewalk. i finally spotted him. he looked at me. and i kept driving. what stopped me? im not sure. my final reasoning was that i realized he was carrying laundry and that the laundrymat was only a block ahead of him. but thats not the point, is it?......almost.....maybe next time....... 5.7.04 well ill trade wisdom back for innocence. - ben jelen. new favorite thing to read: www.reallivepreacher.com (thanks josh). this guy is a great writer and has a way of relating the normalcy of his human condition to God in a way that i havent quite seen before. i have thirteen days left with my students. last night was the last coffee house of the year, and it was pretty fun. a lot of my kids came and they loved it. hopefully theyll come again next year. one of my students stopped me in the hall this morning and he had a smile on his face i didnt quite recognize. his sister had her baby last night- a little girl named isabelle. he was so proud, and excited about being an uncle. Gods wonders.... im not giving a final exam in my classes. i dont want to spend my last hours with my kids in silence staring at my desk trying to look busy while they stare blankly at multiple choice, true/false, and fill-in-the-blank questions. instead, my kids are choosing from a long list of projects to do related to romeo and juliet, and on our exam day they will present their projects. that way im still "evaluating" my kids, and we all get to hang out. im pretty stoked about that. my new apartment is coming along well. i feel very at home in it. im not really there much except for late at night until about 7 in the morning, but when summer rolls around ill get to enjoy it a lot more. im going to be getting a golden retriever once summer starts, so im all kinds of excited about that. in other news, im officially a lifeguard. but like i told my friend ben, dont even think about drowning, b/c i wont save you. my tan is way too important. greg and jessica are in town this weekend, so im super excited about that. i havent seen them in a while. theyre both going to live in savannah by next fall, so that will fabulous. i never thought greg and i would live in the same town again. wow.... ok im out...peace.... 4.30.04 i love the smell of rain. 4.29.04 life is beautiful. lately ive been smelling honeysuckle everywhere i go. my new apartment seems to culminate little things i love about life. hearing a train pass by. an owl in my backyard. my kitchen detergent reminds me of my childhood. i performed a very special right-of-passage for every southern girl: i made my very own sweet tea. you should come over and have some. life is also crazy. my kids have been wearing me out this week. plus, im still haivng lifeguard training in the afternoons and whatever else i have going on any give night of the week. the next month is only going to get busier. in other news greg and jessica will both be in savannah by fall, so im dang excited about that. like you dont understand. unfortunately, i have met a student i cant stand. i guess one out of 117 isnt bad. shes new. shes rude. she has attitude. and if it wouldnt bother God or cost me my job, i think i just might beat the crap out of her. tonight im going to a bluegrass concert and im all kinds of excited about that. well, i need to go...... 4.11.04 it's been a while, so i figured id update. today is easter, and day three of spring break. yesterday some amazing friends and my fabuus brother helped me move all my crap downtown into my new apartment. big ups to steven, megan, carmel, erk, and josh. you guys rock. i spent last night and part of this afternoon cleaning and unpacking stuff. you have no idea how freakin excited i am. in other news, i started training to be a lifeguard the other day. i had to swim six laps, tread for 2 min, and then retrieve a brick from the deepend (12 1/2 feet). it wasnt too bad, and im excited about training. however, im kinda scared b/c by this coming friday i have to be able to swim 20 laps and it'll be timed. other than training, this week will be devoted to fixing my apartment up. probably by thursday for friday night ill have people over for the party of the year. if you dont get an invitation, you must not be that important.........just kidding.....actually, if you actually read this ridiculous thing, you deserve an invitation. so consider yourself invited. let me know if youre coming..... rsvp 20 west 36th street apt #1 savannah, ga 31401 4.1.04 each day i am bombarded with a million questions, and often the same ones over and over. in first place we have, "ms. umumreagan, i can go to the bathroom?" (note, in ebonics, word order is inverted, so yes, it is "i can" ) in second place we have, "ms. umumreagan, i can go to my locker?" so on and so forth. i do not discourage asking questions, however, there is one question that i refuse to answer when my students ask, and that is, "ms. reagan, you got a boyfriend?" this i have left in the shadows (for reasons you can ask me in person if you so choose). so today, in light of april fools, i told my kids that my boyfriend proposed to me last night and that i was engaged. they completely fell for it. it was great. poor fools.... 3.29.04 sup. so i saw matt wertz sat night up at the new city cafe and it was.....fabulous. im not sure if i enjoyed his music or his jokes more. he had spent the day flying from l.a. and on one of the planes he sat in front of two jr. high girls. he managed to catch part of their conversation at the end of their flight: captain: ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. thank you again for flying (insert airline). we are now going to begin descent into (insert destination of choice). please fasten all seatbelts and remain seated. girl 1: does that mean we're going down? girl 2: i dont know....do you think my hairdryer is going to be ok from going through that x-ray thing? girl 1: oh it'll be ok....it's not digital. now, if you have to read that twice...... anyhow, the concert was great. josh was supposed to go with, but stupid forgot about a meeting, so i had matt call josh and give him a hard time for punking out. a lot of crazy things have happened in the last week. shaun, our youth pastor, announced that he is leaving at the end of april. i signed the lease on my first apartment. the girls in my small group at church were taking picutres on prom night at a beach house and the balcony they were standing on collapsed, causing several injuries. i was at the hospital most of friday evening. we are all amazed at how minor the injuries were considering....we are all thankful to God that he didnt take anyone that night. in other news, i think i might lifeguard for the summer.... God has been pouring his blessings over me left and right.....i have no idea why..... my young life kids are amazing....i love hanging out with them. big ups to carmel, max, pelli, amy, bobby, nadia, adam, amanda u., christina, david r., david h., and sam! you guys rock! 3.23.04 ok. lots of excitement in my life. im signing a lease tomorrow for an apartment downtown in this really cool old victorian house on the corner of 36th and whitaker. i think my first move will be to paint. after that, naturally, move all my crap in and have fun decorating. i can pretend i spent a lot of money on it instead being given free stuff and painting/printing my own artwork for decoration. wait. what am i saying? free stuff and original artwork is way cooler than expensive crap that other people own. whatever. this new apartment means a lot of things, and im not sure which thing makes me more excited. one thing ive figured out is that i should get a job this summer. one reason is so that ill have a little extra money, but the main reason is so that i wont go freakin mad from boredom. i know having some time off from school will be fabulous, but i also see myself getting bored in between graduation and waiting for sr. high camp that im going to help out with. so, with that in mind i kinda looked around online at a few places that i thought it would be cool to work at, and ive chosen the sentient bean as my first endeavor. it's a coffee shop not too far from my apartment, and i think it would be very interesting and challenging spiritually to work there, so thats my first choice. ok, well, i need sleep, so im out.... 3.18.04 one of my students caught me putting on lipstick today and told me to stop b/c i was too young to date. 3.17.04 erin go braugh. yea for st. patricks day b/c i got the day off, and i most definitely did not go downtown, but to the beach. yesterday i went downtown to scope out apartments. i checked out one that was ok, and one that i loved. the second apartment was absolutely beautiful, and i have to admit that on the way home i was already thinking of how i would arrange my furniture. a girl can dream. we'll see what happens. either way, im really close to moving downtown, and really excited about it. last night at deepend, ryan long performed, and it was great. i cant get one of his new songs out of my head- "if it hadnt rained." he's a great storyteller. im coming to johnson city the first weekend of april, so all of you in j-town, mark your calendars (not like last time- i promise). dimitris art show is april 4th, so ill definitely be there. 3.12.04 a few quotes: the trapper keeper is the genesis of obsessive-compulsive disorders of my generation. - john mayer if i were a spaceship, id land on your planet. thats the sound of an ambulance coming to get me b/c my heart stopped when i saw you. - both from guys on the brendan leonard show if you saw ms. reagan up in the club, wouldnt you ask her to dance? i would. - one of my students who wants extra credit 3.11.04 im sitting in my classroom during my planning period listening to ben jelen sing "come on" and i must say that i am highly anticipating his cd, which comes out at the end of the month. anyhow.... yesterday was a weird day. i took the afternoon off. i left school a little after 11. it was a beautiful thing. i graded some tests for a little while. then i felt compelled to write some letters, which i hadnt done in a while, so i headed to pick up some stationary b/c i was out. by the time i had gotten some paper and envelopes, i thought i was going to go see the passion of the christ again, but for some reason i felt like i should just go to church and write the letters, so thats what i did. theres this one hallway upstairs that has a few tables and chairs looking out big windows onto the lake behind the church. i love sitting there, so thats where i chose to sit down and write. i stayed at church for almost three hours i think. a few people stopped and talked to me. i havent cried in a long time, so it was kinda funny b/c i got teary-eyed a couple of times while writing, and people always caught me and then thought something was wrong. the notes were to people at church. i signed a couple of them, but most of them were anonymous. i love doing that. not to drive the person crazy, but b/c it doesnt really matter who the letter is from sometimes, people just need to know that they are appreciated and that they dont go unnoticed. in other news...matt wertz is going to be touring with maroon 5 and will be performing at armstrong (of all places) in april....or may....i think.... ps- michael chaudron truly is my alltime favorite 3.5.04 just for the record, josh kelley and i both type the same way online.....lots of elipses.....very little real puncutation..... so my birthday was amazing despite my extremely low expectations. big ups to everyone who remembered it (*clears throat*)..... sunny weekend, here i come...... peace... 3.2.04 matt wertz personally sent me an email today. it's ok to be jealous. in other news, my birthday is tomorrow. i hate to admit it, but im pretty sure birthdays are just going to start sucking bigtime. last year was pretty good (shout out to my crew in j-town who took me out). but this year it's looking to be kinda lame....like a regular day....oh well.... um.....my kids are going to start reading romeo and juliet next week and im really excited about it b/c it's like the one thing i already knew how to teach before getting a job, so thatll be fun. shout out to anthony, my re-discovered friend from sixth grade. we went out for coffee the other night and had a good talk. i encourage all of you to have quality talks with random people. God is always in the midst... speaking of God- i saw the passion of the christ sunday night. i was like "woah." i missed about a fourth of it (thats 1/4 for you math nerds) b/c i kept closing my eyes. i think that subconciously i tried to emotionally detatch myself from it before i went in, but it didnt work. i highly recommend that anyone who is the least bit curious about it go see it. there are some interesting creative things thrown in there. the one that particularily caught my attention was the storyline created to add the shroud of turin and provide a possible explanation for it. i didnt buy it, but i still thought it was creative. well, i need to get stuff together for deepend, so im out.... 2.24.04 this brought joy to my life. apparently chap didnt unload the dishes or something of that nature, so he had to suffer the consequences. go here and click the link. browse around and check out joshs sweet site while youre at it. have a day filled with....whatever.... 2.18.04 love the people who need love the most- bill hybels dad 2.16.04 hey....so....valentines....how was yours? mine was interesting. i fixed dinner for five guys im not dating, but no one died or choked, so all in all i think it went over pretty well. in other news, i want to move out.....like yesterday..... attention all guys: read wild at heart by john eldredge. it's not gay, i promise. so this week is gonna be nice. i had today off (yea, presidents!) and then on thursday im having conferences with my homeroom kids and their parents. i dont have to go to work until 12 and im in conferences all day. i will miss my kids though. there are days when i could use a break from teaching, but id always enjoy just hanging out with my students. so on sunday i taught the junior/senior sunday school class and it was a lot of fun. the kids were really cool and didnt fall asleep or anything, so that was a good sign. afterwards, the youth pastor asked if id fill in for him next sunday. he's teaching the 9th graders, and you know how much i love them :) (i teach 9th). well, there are other things i could talk about, but i dont think any of you are ready for that, so im out. peace.... 2.9.04 sup. so i made a sad discovery yesterday. i come from a ridiculously musically talented family. well, it turns out that i cant play the tambourine. how unbelievably pathetic is that? i was practicing yesterday with the band for deepend and sean suggested that i play the tambourine on one of the songs. i kinda felt like i was in the partridge family, but i gave it a whirl. well, we tried it over and over, but every time we all just ended up laughing in disbelief at my horrible inability to play the tamborouine. it was a sad moment in my musical career. erik, there goes that fifteen minute tambourine solo we were going for. in other news i still love my job and my kids (kids=students. it has been brought to my attention that some people started wondering why they had never met my kids. i wont explain this any further). next week we have monday off and im all kinds of excited about this. who knows what ill do?? im excited about young life tonight b/c we're having a wedding shower for john and robin, two of our leaders. plus, chap is giving his first talk, so thats exciting. true confession: a couple of weeks ago i found a set of dvds that had all the episodes of my so-called life on them, and i definitely bought them. we wont say how much they were, but i will say that ive enjoyed re-visting being thirteen/fourteen. i loved that show. shout-out to julian for always appreciating my love for the show and claire danes. i need to figure out if im going back to mexico this summer. if i do, it will be with crossroads. my other option is to go with the youth group to haiti. in all honesty, haiti scares me, so im not sure about that. something that prayer and time will reveal. well, as greg would say,...im off like a ....nevermind what hed say....im out.... 2.5.04 what? another new entry so soon? i know, it's out of control. today was kinda blah b/c im sick with a cold. im this close --> <-- to going to bed and it's only like 7:30. i think my lack of sleep over the past couple of weeks has caught up with me. i could blame someone else for that, but we wont go there. i need to do laundry. i miss the times i spent with dimitri at peoples laundry mat in tennessee. good times. laundry in mexico was always a blast, too. doing laundry at home isnt that exciting, but going to a laundry mat always proves to be fun. you can always meet interesting people. in other news - about half the girls in savannah want to take my brother to prom. unfortunately, since he was 13 the first time he went, hes about promed-out. sorry, ladies... today my integrity was challenged. a parent talked in circles trying to get me to change a student's grade from last semester b/c he failed by one point. i couldnt believe it. one point seems small, but it takes a lot to change one point, and the student had not been responsible enough to make that difference. i stood my ground, and it was difficult b/c the parent really thought she was going to convince me. i really liked the kid, but i wouldnt be doing him any favors by giving him a point he didnt earn. well, i think im going to go crawl in bed. holla back youngin... 2.2.04 by the demands of mr. josh goleman i am adding an entry so that my site can be "updated". plus, i cant sleep, which is ridiculous, but for some reason, i cant. there are a million things running through my head and i cant decided which random four or five to share. there are of course a couple of thoughts that stand at the forefront, but im not sure i want to share those. im in such a strange mood. i cant explain it. i miss chris eger. id do anything to be sitting next to him right now, playing our guitars and singing. i think he would understand my mood. this is turning out to be a disappointing entry. i think i need to go talk to Jesus. im done... 1.29.04 well, it's official. i found. mr. right. actually, i found paul wright. check him out online. hes like jack johnson meets nappy roots meets jesus....or something like that. congrats go to cathy for her first real job as a chorus teacher. she starts tomorrow- good luck girl! in other news - i think it's pathetic i havent been asked out in five years. God knows better... big ups to john reuben for incorporating an 80s flashback into his newest video for his song "move". in the video john is trying out for cheerleading. i mean, why wouldnt he? thats cool, right? (by the way, chap ambrose really likes the movie bring it on and is excited about watching the sequel) so during johns tryout a guy in the stands holds up a sign that says "sweep the leg johnny." now, for those of you uncultured people out there who somehow missed the great cinemaphotography giants of the 80s, this is a reference to the karate kid. if i could do a toe touch to express my inner joy, i would. so, thanks, johnny. worship this week has been really awesome. i got to sing at deepend for the first time (college/20s on tues nights) and it was really fun. last night, at small group with the senior high girls, we had worship for about an hour. the girls really liked it, and i loved having that chance to lead a long set of worship. God has blessed me so much it's ridiculous. like it shouldnt be allowed. im so thankful for my job and the kids i work with. they are amazing. 9th graders are the best. well, i need to get going. im heading up to athens and the atl this weekend, so maybe ill see you...oh yeah, thomas, im bringing you your sweater :).... 1.15.04 wuddup. the first two weeks of this semester are almost done. it has flown by. young life started back up the other night and small groups at church are back together, too. i have about 70 new students, so thats been fun. im in such a strange mood tonight. it's like im ready for something big to happen, but i know that i'll be up for another couple of hours, go to bed, and then tomorrow life will go on the same as it has done in the past....weird... im going up to tennessee tomorrow. this week has been so long that it hasnt really hit me yet that im driving six hours tomorrow and then spending the weekend not in savannah. i have no clue what im going to do. in other news - i hate money. i really wish i could understand Gods grace. it doesnt make any sense to me. im reading the God of yes by david edwards. ive always struggled with the idea that God is good, but there is still suffering and evil in the world. edwards states: adam and eve chose to try to make it on their own . . . suffering is a natural product of the continuation of evil. i thought that made sense. b/c i know that God doesnt choose suffering for his people. i read a book called dateable written by both a guy and girl for teens and i decided to use it at the high schools bible study last friday. the kids ate it up. and although it is targeted towards teens, i gained wisdom from it as well. several of the kids went out and got the book and have been reading it. ive decided to share it with the girls' small group that i help lead next week. big ups this week go to: greg- for reminding me to pay my phone bill; leanne- for just being herself; and ben- my favorite thundercats ho have a swell day... 12.31.03 and so we say goodbye to another year and hello to what will hopefully be an even better one. "then reality set it, like it always did." - sue monk kidd, author of the secret lives of bees. good book. good quote for life i think. so i made it through my first semester of teaching high school. it was a roller coaster. now im gearing up for the second half. im kinda bummed at the moment b/c ive lost half of my previous students to schedule changes, so it's almost like starting over. then again, ive never met a kid i didnt like... i was thinking about a friend of mine last night. this isnt the kind of friend that i hang out with all the time. this is the kind of friend that youve had since you were a kid. we owe special allegiance to the people who knew us as kids. who knew us before the world screwed us up. who knew the real us. the real you. anyhow, i was thinking about him, about his life and how unfair it's been, and also about how it all relates to God. this is the fruit of my reflection...might turn it into a song...not sure yet..... trapped in a darkness that i cant understand i try to reach out to you grab hold of you but youre too far away facing a direction ive forgotten you buy into the old lies thinking that theyre new truths maybe jesus just seems too easy or too cliche you may have found a comfort zone but in all its falseness youll eventually ask yourself the same questions over and over youll never get the right answers asking the wrong person you say "jesus is the answer" is the dumbest thing youve ever heard i understand your reasoning but youre deluded thats what happens when we try to solve our own problem of pain -inspired by cs lewis' problem of pain well, happy new year and all that jazz.... |
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