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| Friendship... who is really blessed with friendship? I have recently been through some major drama and it sort of makes you realize how much your friendships mean to you. Sometimes people get upset when people move away and then don't call... Friends get upset about so many things. Perhaps people should evaluate their "friends" more often. Perhaps you aren't giving your friends enough credit. Maybe you're giving them too much attention. People spend so much time worrying about whether or not their friends are happy and yet maybe their friends don't reciprocate. I think people use the term "friend" too freely. "Friend" has floated over into the "aquaintence" catagory. I wonder if I'm the only one who has noticed this.
With the holidays apon us, it's easy to think about friends and family for me. I realize how sort of disconnected from my family I am. I feel so much closer to my friends. I feel so different than my family... sort of outside them. Hugging them makes me uncomfortable... and yet I am so open to it with friends. I realize that about 95% of the people I called "good friends" back where I used to live, I don't even talk to now. Though both sides have contact information, no one has attempted to contact the other one. I have attemted to contact like two or three people. So my conclusion about that is that I was too free with my term friend and I didn't evaluate my relationships well enough. There is no shame in being friendly and open to new people in your life, but maybe you should be more picky about your friends... it could save some drama down the road. Here are some of the things I've come up with to help keep a tidy group of friends... 1. If they are a negative influence, get rid of them. 2. If they always want your help, but cant ever give theirs, get rid of them. 3. If you find that you regret things you do or how you act around them, get rid of them. 4. If they bring you down, rather than up, get rid of them. Those are the four rules that I am plan to start going by when it comes to friendships. I already have sort of and my life already seems a little better without those negative "friends". I can't just be bashing people for being bad friends though right? Here are some things that I try to do to be a good friend: 1. Don't hear them, listen to them. I tend to be a bit full of myself sometimes and I have a tendency to think about the effects their problem would have on me (if it concerns a situation I am affiliated with) instead of what would be best for them, when they happen to be asking me for advice. I can't just do that! I can't give someone advice that would be good for me and bad for them. I know other people do that because I've seen it. 2. Realize that it's not all about you! Sometimes people may be having a worse time than it seems. You never know what they've been through in recent times and so it is good to be there for them rather than to be too busy for them constantly. If you seem to be super busy at a time, set aside a time to talk to them and stick to it. They need you. 3. Don't be a flake. I've never been a flake, but I know it is a pet peeve of mine so I should say something about it! haha. There is nothing more annoying that having a plan for a while and having to turn other offers of things to do down because of this plan and then the person you were supposed to go with doesn't show! They call at the last minute and give some lame ass excuse and it just bugs me! If you make plans with someone, STICK TO IT! haha. Just be a good friend, and have good friends, and you will see your life take a turn to the positive. Positive life, positive attitude, positive improvement, it's the way to go! -Laura :o) November 27, 2003 | |||||||||||||