First Times

If only she hadn't fallen onto her elbow, she would have been okay. 'Shit, it hurts like hell'.
She should have been out there with her, fighting side by side, but more as one, than one person could be.
Buffy.
Why couldn't she get the feeling out of her stomach that something was wrong or was going to be very wrong?
Why was it that she had what felt like an animal gnawing away at her that seemed insistent not to leave or die. She knew that something was wrong, but she also knew that Buffy could handle herself.
When it came down to it, she was only there by default, it was only because of Buffy letting go for a few seconds that she was even there. Good thing for Xander.
Xander. He' been there after the fight, he'd been the one to release Faith after her slay (or lack of). She was glad it had been Xander, if it had been Buffy things could have got extremely complicated.
She laid on the bed, hoping to get some sleep, she knew it would never come . Something was about to go down, and it was gonna be far from five by five.
That had almost become her calling card, she knew what it meant, and everyone else did, perfect
but everything wasn't perfect.

In Faith's world, all she did was fight, sleep, eat and screw. It was second nature to her, or at least it had been.

Since her move to Sunnydale, every day the pain in her became more and more, it was consuming her, and she had no way of escaping from its ever hungry appetite. Her feelings for Buffy had arisen the moment she saw her. She knew everyone else saw it in her, her beauty, her natural leadership. As if not even the Earth or God could take away that thing that made her beautiful, that thing that wasn't even a word, or at least not a word anyone dare utter. A beauty that made her immortal, in the minds of all who came into contact with her.

She cast a glare across to the clock on the table 11:47
’Where is she?’ She should have been back at least 20 minutes ago.

Buffy's absence was beginning to unnerve Faith, as if the fact that she wasn't near was tearing a part of her away. She had tried to convince herself that it was because they were Slayers, stronger than anyone could be, sharing one natural instinct: to kill. She understood Buffy in a way no-one really could. The hunger, the need. All of it.

Growing evermore impatient, she leapt from the bed, almost sprinted over to the chair and quickly slipped into her leather jacket, forgetting for the moment about the pain in her elbow; right now she was being driven by another.

Faith recognised the demon Buffy was fighting, it was a Gnoromalian demon, it was one of the older demons. It had been around forever, feeding on the dead, but over the last couple of centuries it had found a taste for living flesh and was picking off the youngest morsels.

When she first caught a glimpse of Buffy it was of her stood on the statue of a bull which adorns one of the many Sunnydale parks, she had the crossbow in her hands, she was prepped and ready for the kill. She saw the opportunity and took it.

The Gnoromalian demon fell, arrow embedded in a small hole in his head. Before he erupted into a mountain of flames, which gradually began to ebb away to nothing.

As Buffy scanned the area for potential witness', she spotted Faith, jumped off the statue and ran towards her.

"What are you doing here, didn't I tell you to rest? God, you never listen to anything I say to you, Faith. You can't slay with that arm." Buffy was almost yelling by this time, however her eyes didn't seem angry, more concerned.

"Finished?” Her eyes bore into the smaller Slayer, she was hurt by her words. “I didn't come to slay, I came to check you were ok, you were longer than I'd expected." Faith turned away and began to stride back in the direction she had just come. She heard the familiar padding from behind her, and a soft hand caressed her shoulder, bringing her to a stop. She spun the brunette round to face her. The look of disappointment on her face causing a sting in Buffy.

"OK, ok. Sorry. I didn't expect you, that's all." Buffy looked at the floor, aware of Faith's eyes on her. Suddenly a thought popped into Buffy’s head: ‘Hungry and…? Well, maybe later. Food comes first.’

"Fancy a bite seen as we're mobile?" She enquired. Faith's eyes lit up, as always at the mention of food.
"Chicken, kinda food?" she shot her best, 'please say we can have chicken' eyes. Buffy shook her head absently, Faith knew it had worked.
"Yeah we can have 'chicken kinda food'. But I need to get changed, so, we get it to eat out right?" Buffy's eyes were showing an emotion she rarely saw in her, battle lust, someone had once called it. 'Hmmm this evening may turn out more interesting than I'd thought' Faith thought quietly. Buffy smiled.

"So tell me, Miss 'slays in the nude', when was your first time?" The drink had begun to wash over Buffy and her speech was becoming a little more slurred, Faith noted. It didn't take much to get her in a state. After picking up the chicken, and a few bottles of cheap whisky, Buffy had called her mom and let her know that they she was staying with Faith. Somehow the conversation had somehow got onto sex.

Faith had hoped this type question wouldn't arise, however it was here to stay and she doubted that she could find a way around it.
"What do you mean?" she tried.
"You know, when was your first time, with a guy?" Buffy tried to lean in closer in case Faith hadn't heard her properly, however her torso simply fell forwards, her hair smothering her face. Attempting to gain her composure she swept the hair away from her face and simply stared at the other slayer, sat in front of her, with an empty bucket of chicken in her arms
"Oh my first time with a guy? I must have been about 15. I'd been on the run for a while then, and he helped me out. I paid him back. He was a sleaze." Buffy nodded in some sort of coherent way. Although Faith knew that not much of what she was saying was going into her long term memory, and she was thankful.

"So your first time was when you were 15. Hmm good age?" she began.
"I never said my first time, I said my first time with a guy." 'Gods' Faith thought, 'that whisky must have just kicked in. Shut up before you say something stupid.'
"What your first time wasn't with? a guy?" Buffy was impressed with Faith's face. She was attempting to look shy and conservative but Buffy knew that Faith was neither.
"Nope." Faith found herself saying. 'Shit Faith, shut up, shut up, shut up'
"Woah, wasn't expecting that one!" Buffy slurred. She was expecting actually, she just didn't want to give the game away yet. She grinned inwardly "what, I mean, what was it like? Icky?" Buffy feigned a screwed up face, but she wasn't as repulsed as she was making out, she thought it was quite sweet in a way.
"No, it was not 'icky', it was five by five." Faith didn't push with the information, if Buffy wanted it, she would have to ask for it. Faith was amazed at her amount of self control even in this slightly inebriated state.
"So come on, who was it with? What was her name? Did you know her for long?" Buffy said somewhat sobering up, however she knew that her friend wasn't doing as well as she now was.
"Woah? so many questions, God B, nosy! Well,
1: It was with an old friend. 2: She was called Charity 3: I'd known her forever. I really loved her."

Buffy was in a state of shock, she never thought she'd hear the brunette say that 4 letter word. Love. The word never linked in her mind to Faith. In fact there were few words Buffy could think of, that would link with Faith.
Naughty, mischievous, rebellious definitely, but never that word.

It made sense to her though, all this time, she knew that Faith had been hiding that side of her away. Presumably this girl had hurt her. Perhaps this was even the cause of her state after slaying. Perhaps she had never since felt that type of love and just took it out on the guys she 'had' after slaying.
'Why can she never just 'have' me after slaying?? Oh my God, what did I just think? I know I didn't just want Faith to have me. I know I didn't. I couldn't, I mean, all that time with Angel, I never thought of Faith like that. Never. Yeah right, you can kid her and you can kid everyone else. You wouldn't put up this much resistance towards her if you didn't feel something for her.'

This was weird, her own conscious was starting to answer her back.

"So how old were you then?" Although she didn't want to tread on bad territory she had to find out the basics of Faith's first time.
Faith was surprised at Buffy, she had expected a crinkled nose and not wanting to know any of the finer details. The question now was, how much to reveal, she had hurt Faith badly, and she was worried somewhat about her image, even if it was only the other slayer.
'Huh, only the other slayer? Faith come on girl, you like this girl, tell her the full story, she might appreciate it. No don't think that, you'll only get your hopes up girl. Then when you fall flat on your arse again it won't come as a shock.'

"Well I was 14, she was 15. We'd been friends since we were young, it was whilst my mom was still alive. We had been having a giggle playing truth or dare, and she let it slip that she liked me.. like that, and one thing led to another. It was an exhilarating experience, and I loved every minute of it. I thought she had too." The pain got to Faith though, and as unwilling as she was, she let a solitary tear fall down her cheek. She dipped her head towards the rough mottled carpet she was sat on, avoiding Buffy's probing gaze. As her tear dripped and began to soak into the lilac carpet which covered the floor she felt soft skin ripple against that of her chin and Buffy tipped her head backwards so they were on eye level to each other.

Buffy attempted to search for some meaning behind Faith's brown orb's, but nothing was forthcoming and so relied upon her voice to find the answers.

"Go on Faith, I'm here." The hand that was tenderly caressing her chin, know helped her shift her position until she had her back resting on the bottom of the bed with Faith at her side. She pressed Faith's head into her shoulder and asked her again to continue.

"Well, the next day when I woke up, she'd left my house. I was alone, and at school she wouldn't talk to me. She wouldn't even look at me. I never spoke to her again. It killed me inside, I never thought I'd find anyone like her again. I could tell her anything, absolutely anything." Faith was definitely over her drunkeness now, the alcohol seemed to seep away with her tears.
'What exactly am I doing? She's gonna think I'm a proper basket case now. Well started so I'd might as well finish.' As the tears continued to soak the carpet Faith noticed that it wasn't her own tears that were falling.
"After that she started hanging around with a bad crowd, you know the kind. Turns out she'd done it as a bet. I was devastated. Anyway, a few weeks later she vamped out, by her boyfriend. It took all I could to stake her. But it was either her or me. But she took my heart with her." That was it, she'd never admitted that to anyone. She knew she would never look at Buffy the same again, and Faith figured, she probably felt the same way. She broke down in a flood of tears.
She felt Buffy's arm caressing her side, pulling her in as tight as possible.
'OK girlie it's now or never just ask her you'll feel better when you have. You'll know for sure.'

"Faith, have you never felt that way about anyone else since? I mean I know she hurt you badly, but not everyone's like that you know?!"
Faith attempted to wipe the tears from her face. Leaving her hand and her face clammy she looked up through puffy eyes towards her friend.
"Well, yeah I guess, I mean the guys I sleep with, they're different, it's just a release of energy." Faith had to stop at that to hold back another sniffle.
"So you've never felt that since? Poor Faith. You'll find someone I'm sure." Faith tried to speak again,
"I mean, I've felt things like that since, but I knew that it was never requited so I didn't bother." 'OK Faith, now you better shut up, if she asks you know that you can't lie to her, you know that you won't be able too, so just shut up.' Faith screamed at herself. She once again tipped her head towards the floor.
'OK girl, you know she feels that way about someone just kiss her. Just kiss her, go on, what's the worse she can do other than knock you to your feet? And your already sat down! If it isn't you, she's talking about just pretend your really drunk. Go on, do it.'
Faith once again felt that silky soft skin tilt her head up, expecting a helpful word of advice, or once again those searching eyes, she simply shut her eyes and let her head tip backwards. Until she felt soft, warm breath over her lips and neck. With a sudden bolt her eyes flew open.

She saw and felt those soft red lips whisper over her own, before without knowing how or why, she pushed back. Realising Buffy's eyes were closed she followed suit. For the first time in a long while, Faith closed her eyes and fell into the kiss.
More than a kiss.
As soft as the kiss was, it was magnetic. Faiths good hand found Buffy's waist and Buffy's hands had slowly began to caress Faith's face. As the kiss began to get more passionate, Faith stopped dead and pulled away.
'OK Faith, I know it's me. Why won't you just tell me?'
"Buffy wait a minute. Your still drunk, I don't wanna do anything your gonna regret in the morning. I won't go through that again." Faith began to back away from Buffy she was headed towards the door, even though it was her apartment.
"Faith, I'm not as drunk as you might think. Although I never really admitted it to myself, I like you. A lot. Tonight just made me realise that. I want you, and I won't be leaving before morning, I promise. Now come away from the door. You can't open it with one arm anyway." Buffy chuckled softly to herself and looked at her hands before looking back at Faith.

She stretched one hand out to her, which Faith took as she led her back to the bed.

Buffy sat her on the edge of, and sat in front of her on the floor. She took her hands, and kissed each palm in turn. Faith felt the surge of energy from each hand.

Faith breathed in deeply, Buffy’s voice had been strong yet gentle, soothing and heavy, filled with passion.

She lent in and brushed her lips against Buffy’s, she pulled back, urging her onto the bed…

First Times

		Disclaimer: The characters included in this story, do not belong to me, they belong exclusively to Fox © and seen as I am not getting paid for any of these stories what's the problem? Rating: This is only a 12 story however, if depictions of a loving relationship between two women is illegal where you live, you are underage or it scares you (you freaks!) then runaway little ones. Authors Notes: I've been writing this story on and off for about a year and it's finally begun to come together. As with my other stories there will be a continuation of this story into the 18/NC17 territory; so, as always feedback is welcome (however I am now beginning to find it difficult to fit through doors!). Also downright pleading and begging for the continuation will force me to write it faster. After all that, let's get on with it?