If your teacher wears a beret, he will suck.
Wind and cruises to the Bahamas are not good in combination.
When the man singing comes off stage to dance with you to the song, "you're making it hard for me!" - try not to think about the ideas running through everyone else's minds.
When the super bitch waitress doesn't return Rob's 5 cents change - beware of his wrath.
During a free buffet, don't forget to tip the requested $1.25, and to pay for the water.
Super 8 Motels are cool, when they don't smell like a wet dog that is.
ALWAYS wear close toed shoes while riding on a moped. Nope, flip flops don't count.
If your car gets towed illegally in the middle of the night, you will be very lucky if your landlord is so wonderful that he pays to get your car back and then attempts to sue the pants off of the towing company.
Always pick up Rob when his car breaks down because he's just so sweet about it afterwards.
It's surprisingly easy to get VIP and free drink passes.
Never try to set up camp while intoxicated with Nicole.
Never assume that leeches are cool. Never doubt them either.
Getting food at Wendy's after they have closed the inside part is done best by going through the drive thru in Mara's make believe car.
Never underestimate the power of The Cosmopolitan.
Making out with the hot Peace-a-Pizza guy is the best way to get free pizza for a week.
No matter where you go out at night, just accept the fact that you will end up at the Grog.
If you meet a guy named Greg Piaseki - hit him with a block of blue cheese.
"No turn on red" simply means - if there are cops around, then stay put.
"Let me walk you home" has numerous implications.
Sometimes in order to be in the contest, you have to be someone's bitch for awhile.
Being in lab for ten hours a week is only fun if all your friends are there with you!
If they are from Newfoundland, then they are assholes.
If you steal the stop sign, it no longer is necessary to stop.
