| ~*~ We agreed that it was over/ Now the lines have been drawn/ The vows me made began to fade but now their gone/ Put your pictures in the shoe box/ My gold ring in the drawer ~*~ I sighed, closing the photo album that rested on the bed. I ran my hand down it. It was our wedding album. My eyes scanned the dates and the hand that rested there. My gold band still glittered in the fading light of the sun. I sighed and took it off and gingerly held it between my fingers, remembering how that simple circle was supposed to be the symbol of our love. The symbol of joining as one heart, one soul. I ran my hand over my face and leaned my head back on the couch. My mind drifted back over the years, the happy memories we had required. 10 years together, but you said it may have been 10 years too much. I stood up and gathered the photo album and a few other pictures we had taken. I stuffed them in the nearest box and put it behind everything else in my closet. I placed the ring in a bag, sealed it up and stuffed it my drawer, finally sealing away all the memories I could. �Yo, D, you okay man?� My brown eyes locked with his and I smiled. �Yeah, just putting some stuff away. So, where are we off to tonight?� �Nick�s.� �What�s going on at Nick�s?� �Cook out.� I groaned and shook my head. �Than we better get over there early cause we all know that Nick can�t cook.� AJ laughed and took us to Nick�s house. I sat down on the bench and smiled as Amber placed the food in front of me. She sat down next to me, with Nick on her other side. �She�s coming Howie.� I slowly slid my gaze to her and she smiled. �Who?� She shook her head, not believing me. �Your ex-wife and one of my best friends.� I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. Okay, so, she called it off, not me. I turned back to my food, not feeling like eating at all. ~*~ I'm not suppose to love you anymore/ Now Sherry says she's jealous/ Of the freedom that I've found/ If she were me she would be out on the town/ And she says she can't imagine what on earth I'm waiting for ~*~ I took a sip of the beer, staring off into space. Without taking my eyes from the landscape, I knew she was there. No words were uttered, no smells had drifted my way, but for loving a woman for more than ten years, you certainly knew when she�s around by the presence she has. �Amber, Nick! How are you guys doing?� She hugged them, a smile catching her lips. Her black hair slipped over her shoulder, shinning in the suns golden rays. I bite my lip and turned my attention to AJ. He lifted up a shoulder, as if to say he was sorry. But sorry for what? For bringing me? For not warning me? For the love that I still had for this woman? After a few moments of her endless chatter, she stopped. I closed my eyes, feeling her eyes boring into the back of my head. I captured every ounce of courage I could find and turned to her. Her eyes locked with mine and her smile slipped a little. �Theresa.� She lifted her chin up a little, yet it still quivered. �Howie. It�s a pleasure to see you. I�ve missed you.� �Thank you. And I�ve missed you too.� �The gang isn�t the same without you. These little outings aren�t the same without someone to pick on.� So that was what she was referring too? �Think Dorough, she�s the one who said she couldn�t make the marriage work anymore. Why would see miss you?� my mind screamed at me. �Sorry, I seem to be busy these days. They caught me on the day that I had free.� �Of course, a busy man you are. Now, if you�ll excuse me, I�m starving.� She turned and headed to the kitchen. �Go talk to her.� �Excuse me.� �Howie, you�re one of my best friends, just like her. And you�re both hurting.� �It�s been six months Amber. It�s time we called it quits. See, I�m not even wearing my band anymore.� �Do me a favor, march in there and get me another cooler please.� I glared at her but lifted myself up off the seat. ~*~ I'm not suppose to love you anymore/ I shouldn't care or wonder where or how you are/ But I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart/ I'm fighting back emotions I've never fought before/ 'Cause I'm not suppose to love you anymore ~*~ I opened the sliding glass door and took in her profile. She has lost weight, her hair had grown, but over all, she looked happy. She turned as she heard the door open and smiled a little. �Did you need something?� �Amber wanted another wine cooler.� �Okay, let me get it for you.� She opened the fridge and pulled out the nearest one. I watched her every move, finally seeing the diamond sparkle. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I was holding. She still wore that simple stone. I wanted to ask her why. To ask her to love me again. To take her in my arms and kiss away all the tears I had caused, but I knew better. These were feelings she wouldn�t understand. I was supposed to be like her, not care anymore. �Thanks.� She smiled as handed me the bottle. �You took it off.� It was a simple statement, but in that alone, I could hear the pain that she didn�t allow to show. �Yeah. Figured six months was long enough. You weren�t planning on coming back.� �No, I wasn�t. I�ve heard you don�t go out much.� �Work keeps me busy. I have a lot on my mind these days, work takes it away.� �Of course, I understand. But still, don�t you think it�s time to move on?� �I�m sorry Theresa, but I�m not the one still wearing my wedding ring.� Of course, she honestly didn�t need to know that I had only taken mine off this morning. She laughed, and tried to smile, but instead caught her lower lip between her teeth. �You�re right of course. It�s just so pretty, I don�t want to take it off.� �I�m not asking you to. Never will either. Excuse me.� ~*~ Now I'm writing you this letter and it's killing me tonight/ That I agreed when you believed it wasn't right/ And I couldn't sleep up on the bed/ So I'm down here on the floor where ~*~ |
| Not Supposed To Love You By: Resa Dorough |
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