| �Resa, it�s not though. That happened, and it was an accident. You didn�t cause the problems. The guys are the ones being stupid. We all know D didn�t want the kid, big deal. He didn�t make you fall down the stairs. It�s not anyone�s fault.� I sighed and smiled. �I know your right. It�s just hard for me.� �Don�t let it be.� She gave me a hug and we pulled up to our guest house. We walked inside and saw how huge it really was. 14 rooms, 10 bathrooms, a game room, a pool inside and a shit load of other stuff. We walked through the house, claiming our rooms for the next couple of weeks. I sat down at the edge of the pool pen and paper in hand. Yet every thought of writing left my mind. Things were wrong between my friends and their men. And no matter what, I felt I was to blame for it. I sighed and leaned back against the chair and heard my cell phone going off. I glanced down and knew the number. �Hey hon,� the rich voice called out. �Hey to you too. What�s up?� �What are you doing?� �Trying to write a song.� �But your mind is else where.� I sighed and laughed to myself. �Of course. I just feel like I�m to blame for everything.� �But you�re not. It was a mistake.� �I know, I know. It�s just hard.� �Hey, what are you doing tonight?� �Not a damn thing, just writing I believe, if even that.� �Wanna go out?� �Kevin, you know we�re not supposed to be doing that.� I laughed and shook my head. �So, you�re never the one to abide by the rules.� �Funny, very funny. Fine, want to pick me up, wait, how did you know where I was?� �Jennifer slipped up.� �What did you do to her?� �Made her scream my name.� I held the phone away and busted out laughing. After a few moments I got back on. �I see. Yeah, I�ll be ready. Seven okay?� �Sure thing hon.� �Later.� I hung up my phone and saw it was already 5:30. I quickly got up and went to my room. I threw my pad on the bed and went to take a shower. Three hours later, I sat next to Kevin at the little bar, just talking or joking around. Next to Howie, he was totally the coolest one with me. He looked out for me and that made me happy. I played around with my drink and just sighed. �What�s wrong?� �I don�t know. I just, I don�t know.� �Just like sighing?� I shook my head and hide my smile. Once you really got to know Kevin, he was a funny ass guy. Of course, you have to get right to the middle, his soul. �Ever feel like things are just, not right? Or something is going to happen and things are going to do a complete 360?� �Sometimes.� �This miscarriage was a bad thing. And I�m wondering if it is really effecting us. Shannon hardly says two words to me. Megan is the same. Terri at least talks to me, but never for long. The only one I�m close to is Jennifer.� �Honey, listen to me. The girls are at ends with the guys. It has nothing to do with you.� �No, I doubt that. If it wasn�t for me telling D that, than they wouldn�t be upset at him and therefore be upset all together. What if I never told anyone?� �Than no one would have known and when you started bleeding, everyone would have been a whole lot more worried and a whole lot more upset. Does it occur to you that maybe they�re upset at you cause you didn�t tell them?� �Why would that upset them?� �Aren�t you all like sisters? Wouldn�t it hurt if they didn�t bother telling you something that important. And yes, it�s quite important.� �I suppose so.� �Theresa, I honestly don�t think it has to do with the fact that they�re fighting. More that hurt them.� I smiled at Kevin. �Thank you babe. You�re quite special.� �Just like you. Now, that�s out of the way, what about this song writing gig?� �Oh, I can write other shit, just not songs. That was never a strong point.� �It takes some time. Have anything in mind?� �Well, yeah. You know how Trinity and BSB redid �If You Knew What I Knew� for the tour?� He nodded his head and I took a deep breath. �Well, I wanted another duet on our album. But I wanted to write it.� �Did you have someone else in mind?� �Well, yeah, you. You�re a wonderful writer Kevin and I think our song would be wonderful. Another love ballad that Trinity would be proud of.� He thought if over for a minute and smiled. �Yeah, that sounds good. When do you want to start?� �Now is a good time.� �Great.� He paid our bill and took me back to the house. �Kevin, this is wonderful,� I said, holding our song in my hands. �Yes it is. And you came up with a lot of it.� �No, we did it together.� We walked to the back of the house and he sat behind a piano. I sat next to him and we started singing. We started changing a few things, but for our first project, it was great. �I�m gonna show the girls tomorrow.� �Well, you have my vote.� I glanced up to the doorway and there stood Jennifer. �Thanks girlie. Is everyone else still up?� �Yeah, at the pool.� �Thanks. Thank you Kevin.� I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I ran by Jen, gave her a quick hug and walked towards the pool. �Guys?� I called out. The three girls looked at me. �Hi. Having fun?� I asked, sitting down one of the chairs. They just nodded their head. I took a deep breath. �Okay, we need to talk.� �What about?� Terri asked, getting out of the pool and sitting next to me. |
| I Will Survive By: Resa Dorough |
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