| Two months into the tour, and talk about feeling like shit. We all roomed with our guys and it sucked. Howie and I were always fighting. Well, mostly him yelling at me cause I was always too sick to go out. Brian and Shannon were on ends for some odd reason. She wouldn�t tell me, well, actually, we hardly talked. Megan and AJ were not so bad, just a few little things every once in a while, little tiffs. Kevin and Jennifer were probably the only ones who stayed calm throughout it all. Well, other than Nick and Terri who just couldn�t stop being all lovey and dovey. I stared out the hotel room window, watching the rain pouring down. We were somewhere in England and I just wanted to be alone. That wasn�t new anymore. Everyone left me alone. I sighed and wrapped my arms around my legs. Oh, yeah, I knew my problem, just didn�t know how to mention it to anyone else. I laid my head on my arms and heard the door open and close. I felt a teardrop fall, I could fell his anger. �What is wrong with you baby?� He sat down and turned my head in his direction. I tried to wipe the tear away but he got to it first. �What? Why are you crying?� �Oh God Howie, I love you so much. And I have no idea how to tell you this. And I can�t believe it happened and�� I took a deep breath and stared at him. �The reason I�ve been sick lately is cause I�m three months pregnant. I wanted to tell you but�� �Wait, back this up. You�re pregnant?� �Yeah.� �Oh fuck no. This can not happen, not now. You could lose your job and I could too. We can not have a baby.� I stood up and glared down at him. �This baby was made out love and I will not do anything to harm it. And you�re a damn jerk for even thinking of that Howard.� �Think of the problem this will cause.� �If you didn�t want this problem, you should have thought about that before you stuck me with that thing.� �I was not the only one in this.� �No, you weren�t, but I don�t mind raising a kid with the man I love.� I walked out of the living room and slammed the door to my bedroom. I ran to my bed, fell on it and cried my heart out. He stormed out of the room and pounded on AJ�s door. After a few moments, AJ opened it and looked at D. �What the fuck happened to you?� �Can I come in?� �Of course.� D walked in and sat down on the couch. �Resa just told me something and it really caught me off guard.� �What did she say?� �She�s pregnant, three months now. She couldn�t tell anyone, didn�t know how too. And I was really mean to her about it.� �Why D?� �Cause I was really shocked. I didn�t know what to say. I�m serious AJ, I love Resa with all my heart, but I do not want a baby.� �Man, I don�t think you have a choice right now.� �Does it sound really mean if I hoped she miscarried?� �Very, very mean man.� D sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. �I just don�t know man.� �Just stick it out man, you don�t know what could happen.� �You�re right, I know. Thanks for listening to me AJ.� AJ gave him a quick hug and saw him out. D walked back into the room and opened the bedroom door. I stood by the window, hearing the door close, knowing he was here. �Baby?� I turned my head slightly, not looking at him, but letting him I was listening to him. �I�m sorry. I didn�t mean to blow up. I just, it caught me off guard. I was not excepting this.� I sighed and turned my attention back to the window. �I didn�t know what to say, what to do. It wasn�t easy on me to hear.� �It wasn�t easy on me to find out either,� I said, still not looking at him. His hands embraced me from behind and I leaned back against his chest. �I love you so much Theresa. And I know you don�t think I�m telling you the truth, but I want this baby.� I turned around and smiled at him. �You don�t have to lie to protect my feelings D. I know you don�t want it. And I don�t blame you. But I don�t have a choice in this matter.� �I know, I know. But I love you. And together we�ll get through this, just like everything else.� I smiled at him and kissed him. �Why didn�t you tell me?� I closed my eyes and sighed. �I don�t know. I didn�t tell anyone. Sides, you were always busy. When would I have gotten a word in?� �You know family comes first to me.� �Oh fuck no, it doesn�t. I realized that when I tried calling you one day and you just about bite my head off.� �You called at a very bad time.� �Yeah, getting it on with your girl. Do you realize that I was going to ask you something that concerned this baby?� �My niece or nephew. No, what were you going to ask?� �How do I tell D? Or did I even want to? But whatever, it doesn�t matter now.� �Not now it doesn�t. D making you mad?� �I don�t know what to do. He doesn�t want it, and no matter how much he says he does, I know he doesn�t.� I got up off the couch and went to the door. �It�s hard, real hard. Don�t get anyone pregnant, please?� He laughed but gave me a hug. �I promise, I�ll try not to.� I smiled and walked down towards the elevator. I changed my mind and wanted to take the stairs. I slipped my foot out and not realizing the floor was wet, fell down the rest of the stairs. 7 months later, we were back home. How we got through that tour, was completely beyond me. Fight after fight was breakin� out and, things were bad. So, as a group, Trinity decided we needed to split from the guys. We got home, changed our packed clothes and drove to another part of Florida. There, we were going to start recording our next album. We had a couple titles in mind, and maybe a couple songs. We know we wanted one for the fans, for they were truly wonderful, but we didn�t quite know how to even start it. At the same time, we knew being with the Boys for nine months would drive us insane. Sure, we loved them, but we also all preferred space! The one thing you can�t get while on tour. And I suppose it didn�t help matters that I had a miscarriage. I knew AJ, Kevin and Brian were mad at D and took that anger out on their ladies. But, you really couldn�t blame anyone. Maybe it was for the better that it happened. It caused a lot of trouble to begin with. �Hey, stop thinking about them.� I looked at Jennifer and smiled. �Not thinking about them per say. Just thinking about everything that�s going on. I feel it�s my fault hon.� |
| I Will Survive By: Resa Dorough |
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