| �What?� �Nothing.� I flipped him on his back and slowly started the sweet teasing he had done to me. My lips and tongue touched everywhere that I could see. And when we both were close to our passion filled haze, he flipped me over and slammed into me. My legs wrapped around his waist, bringing him in deeper. He moaned in my ear, trying to keep from screaming out. And every thrust he did, I could feel my control slipping. And finally, everything within, was let free. I snuggled up against Howie�s chest and just smiled in pure bliss. �God, I miss you so much when you�re gone D.� �I�m quite aware.� I lost the smile on my face when I heard his tone. I slowly pulled away and looked at him. �What�s wrong?� �Doesn�t being with me like this feel wrong to you Theresa?� I just rolled my eyes and got out of bed. �Howie, sleeping with each other is not a bad thing.� �Yes it is.� �If it is so bad for you, why did you even start doing it in the first place. I had told you when this whole thing started that I was not getting in a relationship, that I could never love you. And you said you understood. Yet every time you come back, it�s the same thing. I can�t love you, so therefore there�s no relationship.� �No, just sex.� I just smiled and nodded my head. �I�m tired of dealing with my life like that. I want something more.� �I can�t give you anything more. Why can�t you see? Loving someone is just something I can�t do.� �But why?� I turned away from him and stared at myself in the mirror. �Sure, me and D had a wonderful life, it was purely just sexual. And he wanted more, but I couldn�t give to him. No one knew my past and I wasn�t going to start sharing it now. I didn�t want pity or emptiness �sorry�. I can�t just up and tell him.� �Theresa?� I walked away from him and sat down on my bed. I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around me. He walked behind me and sat on the bed. His hands did magic on my back, softly caressing. �I�m sorry.� �No, there�s nothing for you to be sorry over.� �Yes there is. I�m trying to get more from you then what you�re willing to give. I know it�s not easy for you, whatever it is.� I just looked at him and smiled. �But living like this isn�t easy on me. I care for you very deeply, and that�s why I haven�t just gotten up and walked away yet. Somewhere inside me, I�m thinking you�re going to like me just the same.� I stared at him, wishing I could agree, but knowing I never would. �Would you like to take a shower?� He smiled and unwrapped me. His hands found my breasts and softly caressed those. I moaned and laughed as he picked me up and walked into the bathroom. Two days later, the rest of the gang showed up and I was whisked off from work to dinner. We talked about everything and anything it seemed. Throughout all of dinner, I could feel Howie just looking at me. I knew he had a lot of questions. Sure, Paul had somehow gotten a hold of my house number and was calling me there. Once, Howie picked up and that led into a huge argument. I realized things with him wasn�t going to be easy. I was walking on egg shells. Sure, I was liking him, but you can�t build a relationship on just that. Nor can you build a relationship on just sex either. But, I wasn�t complaining. When the night ended, I was so happy. Or, that was until I walked out the door and bumped into a man. A man who had my nose, eyes, and basically all the facial features. And like a fool, I just stared opened mouthed, waiting to either wake up or for someone to say something. �Theresa?� Totally not the thing for this man to say. �Excuse me, do I know you?� And a very stupid response. I felt Howie slip his arm around my waist, but that didn�t do much to comfort me. Oh now, cause when I got home, there would be tons of questions that I didn�t want to answer. �You should know me. I�m your father.� Great, you�re an idiot man! �Oh, no, I don�t have a father.� �Yes you do. I remember tucking you into bed and singing you to sleep.� �Theresa?� I took a chance and glanced behind me. I smiled at Howie and he raised his eyebrow. I shrugged my shoulders and his arm slipped from around my waist. I nodded my head, knowing all to well what just happened between us. Whatever we had was over. �Okay, so he didn�t die, but I wished he had. Mr. Lambe, I want nothing to do with you. Let�s leave us in the past. I disowned just like you did me. Have a wonderful life.� I took my last little bit of pride and walked right by him. And I knew I left all six guys behind me, including a lot of girls, all stunned. I had told the Boys that my father was dead. It was a simple way to get away from explaining. And a little while after I moved to Vegas, I sent a letter to my �father� telling him that I was killed in an accident and there was nothing left of the body so there was no funeral. Better not to run into him, I figured. Except, I did, and now I had the price to pay. I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around. �You fuckin� lied?� Howie asked. �I lied to everyone. What�s your point?� �Why?� �A little thing called pride Howie. Everyone has it, and I needed to protect mine.� �I thought I was starting to understand you, I guess I was wrong. Whatever is going on, I want nothing to do with. Take your life and get the hell out of mine.� �Howie..� But it was not use, he turned and ran away. I closed my eyes and prayed no one would come after me. I opened them and saw they hadn�t, they were following Howie. I walked over to a phone and called a taxi company. I stared at the computer, editing the last bit of an interview I had done. I looked up when I heard someone clear their throat. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. �Theresa�� �Look, I�m the one who told you I was dead. Why can�t you see that I want nothing to do with you? You�re a fuckin� bastard who doesn�t even deserve my time.� �I know what I did was wrong, but your step mom�� �Yes, the reason behind all the problems. Trust me, you don�t have to explain. Now, if you excuse me, I have a lot of work to do and all your doing is bothering me. �Just let me explain.� �Explain what? How you told me on my 18th birthday that I was supposed to move out on my own. I had never worked a day in my life and was stupid. Do you know, I really didn�t have a place to live? No, I lived in a box for a couple of months. That was, until I had saved up enough money to get my own place in a very bad part of town. So, now that you know I was in the money to being poor to being here, what�s left to explain?� He took a deep breath and sighed. "Nothing." |
| I'll Never Break Your Heart By: Resa Dorough |
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