| Ever loved two women at once? And no, I don�t mean you dating someone and than wanting another one. I mean, having that love that is like a high. I felt it, for two different women. First, the love of my life, currently, Theresa or Resa. My wife and I treasured her beyond anything. Next woman, my ex-girlfriend, Jennifer. Oh yes, Jennifer. God, she could still send shivers down my spine. She was perfect for me in every way. I sighed, dropping the old photo album on my bed. I could hear the soft breathing from the woman by my side. Her brown hair all over the pillow. Her soft pale skin glowing in the moon light. Deep inside I knew this was wrong. It�s a reason to royally mess up my life. I slipped my clothes on, taking one last look at the woman. With a quick note, I was out the door. I prayed her sweet scent was gone, but the bed shifting told me otherwise. Her breathing stopped once I finished climbing into bed. �Do you still love her?� I sighed, not really wanting to talk. �I don�t know.� �Did you enjoy yourself?� �Can we please just drop this. I�m very tired and just wanna sleep.� She nodded her head and rolled on her side, her back facing me. I shook my head, drifting off to sleep. I could hear her, the tears I made. �Resa?� It stopped. �What?� she mumbled. �I�m not going to leave you. You are my wife, the woman I love.� She turned and looked at me. �You love her too D.� She moved closer, placing her head on my chest. �How can you love two people?� �I don�t know baby.� �I don�t want to share Howie.� �You won�t.� I felt the tears on my chest, knowing I didn�t know what I was going to do. Leave my wife, or leave my, what was she now? My mistress I guess you could call her. �Jennifer?� She walked into the living room, her robe barely covering her body. �What�s up baby?� She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I took a deep, steadying breath. This was not gonna be easy. �We�well, we can�t see each other.� �Why?� �Because of Resa.� �Your wife? You want to throw away what we have because of her?� �I�m torn Jennifer. I love you, you know that. You�re the one person I will always love, but she�s my wife. We have kids.� �Doesn�t it get boring though? Being with the same woman when you know you can have the woman you love and she won�t know?� �She does know Jennifer. She knows everything. Amongst my wife, she�s my best friend.� �I thought that was me?� I smiled and she laughed. �D, I�m not gonna ask you to choose. But I will not lose you again. I let you slip through my fingers and I refuse to do it again.� Her eyes were intense and I knew I couldn�t do it to her. But leave my family? Leave my wife? �I�ll call you later Jennifer.� �You have no clue what to do, do you?� �To be honest, no.� �I�ll be here for as long as you need me Howie.� I nodded my head and left her small apartment. I drove home, so at lost in my thoughts. She walked through the door, carrying our youngest son in her arms. She had some boxes in the other hand. �No, damn it Jose, come back with those, mommy needs them.� Our oldest boy ran by me and I caught him real quick. �Are those mommy�s?� The little boy nodded his head. �Give them back mister.� I started tickling him and he squirmed and laughed. �Thanks D.� She walked into the kitchen, setting the little one on the floor. �What�s wrong?� �What do you mean?� �You�re home. AJ called me earlier, said he was taking you somewhere.� �Oh, no, he had a change of plans.� �Oh, I see.� She turned around and I study her. She wasn�t perfect, far from it. But she had bore me two wonderful kids, who at this moment wanted nothing more than there�s father attention. I sighed, one of pure frustration. It was quite difficult loving two women. And it was tearing me apart. Just like it was to the woman in front of me. �D?� �Woah, what?� �Did you hear anything I said?� �Um, no, I�m sorry.� �I was asking what you wanted for dinner?� �Anything is fine baby.� She just looked at me and shook her head, turning around to get something. I walked back into the living room, placing Jose on the floor. �Watch your sister, young man.� �Yes daddy.� I flipped on the TV and let them watch cartoons. I walked back into the kitchen and saw Resa standing against the wall, phone in her hand. And than I heard the sniffles. I don�t remember the phone ringing. �Ah shit, the stupid answering machine.� �It�s for you.� She handed me the phone and ran upstairs. I closed my eyes and held the phone up to my ear, repeating the message. �Hey baby, it�s me, just wanted to say I�m sorry about this afternoon. I know it can�t be easy, but I truly love you Howie. You can�t possibly turn your back on that now, can you? Anyways, call me when you get this baby, I want you to come over.� I hung up the phone and followed Resa upstairs. �What?� �I won�t share Howard. I truly will not. Not like this and not with her. You told me you broke up with her, told me you didn�t love her anymore.� �She was my first love, you know those feelings never go away.� �I�m well aware of that. But they should never be this strong either. Or you marry them, not someone else.� It was than I noticed what she was doing, packing. My eyes opened wide and I couldn�t move from my spot. She was really not going to share me, she was going to leave me. My heart pounded in my chest, my mind screaming at me to stop this, somehow. �Resa, stop, please, stop.� I grabbed her arms and made her look at me. �Please, you can�t leave me.� �Than leave her Howie. Do you realize that you have already broken the vows you took? And yet, I�m willing to stand by you. Good Lord Howard, that has to stand for something?� �It does baby, it does.� |
| Haunting Love By: Resa Dorough |
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