i never
said love
this is
everything i've ever thought
i've ever said
i can't help
it but it comes out so easily
it's so hard
to go back
and read over
all my life
like when i
laughed or when i cried
or when her
smile caught my eye
and just as
easily slipped away
forever
that time i
thought that i was dead
or when i
screwed up again
it made me cry
the first time
so what good
can come to read it now
i can't help
but keep this record
of ryhme and reason
of my heart
that's kept in place
by this
journal, its words, it has no place
let me go back
let me run
away from this life i must now live
let them come back
i'd love so
see you again
don't hold me hand
those scares
don't heal
don't say my
name like only you can
remember that
time in the bus
when we all
revealed our hearts
i lied, i was scared
it was you i
always wanted to say
or that time
in the hall at 3am
when we
couldn't stop talking
remember Chicago
in the cold
night air
Michigan
Avenue when you were scared
how it would
have taken more than a bullet to take us apart
and you looked
at me
and we shared
our hearts
and the rhymes
were much simpler
and the
rythems made sense
my punk rock days
you were a princess
i don't regret
anything other than you
how i handled
that time that our eyes met
it scared me
to death
this can't
make much since
the sad part
is you will never know
you'll never
read this
what sucks is
you left and we didn't make up
whatever ever
it was, i'm sure i didn't mean it
the day after
you left
even though we
hadn't talked in months
i walked to
you house because i couldn't say goodbye
i sat on the
curb and remembered old times
nastalgic at
best, but more like dedpressed
how about the
time we sat in your room on your bed
and folded
back pages of pictures of you as a kid
and your mom
came in and said it wasn't polite
to leave your
guest all alone at your party outside
i hope you do remember
and remember
this well
you changed my
life and how i could feel
it's the
memories of you that won't let me forget
how your smile
could brighten my day
and it broke
my heart to see you sad
too many times
we passed in the hall
and i couldn't tell
if your eyes
were screaming for me to come or go
remember the
time we both skipped class
and we ran
into each other in the hall
and i wished
you happy birthday
and you
blushed that i remembered
i remember
still too well
when february ends
and the winds
begin to change
i always think
about you and hope your days are going great
whatever
happens and wherever you are now
i hope that
your smile is making someones heart flutter
you'll always
deserve more than you will have
and i could
never forget what you made of me in silence on the beach
and i will
never forget you
you will
always remain
in my heart
and in my memories
it's first
loves that give you a hope in the pain
i never said love
not until now