A memoir about my favorite person
You learn great many things when you nurture and teach. Some things may change your life forever. You may learn for yourself how to behave. You may learn how others behave. You may learn how to behave with others. My younger sister Valentina helped me with all that. The most important thing is you learn how to live. That’s what happened to me.
My family comes from former republic of USSR, called Uzbekistan. The four of us, my mother, father, brother and I, were born in Uzbekistan. In October, 1993, we came to London, Ontario, and lived there until 1995. In 1994 my mother found a job at London, Ontario. In 1995, she got a better position at the University of Waterloo, in Waterloo, Ontario. First, she moved to Waterloo and would come home on weekends, but that was too difficult for her, because she missed us, her family. So she started commuting daily between London and Waterloo.
Soon enough, we had a surprise for us and found out that she was pregnant, and that’s what caused us to decide to move to Waterloo. Once we heard that my dad’s mother was sick, my dad decided to go to Uzbekistan to visit her. He had trouble with arranging his visa on time in Uzbekistan’s Embassy in New York. He left for Uzbekistan to visit his sick mother, yet he came too late. After the funeral, and after a week, my dad returned. All this time my mom was worried about him, may be that has caused preeklampsia, high blood pressure due to her pregnancy. One day, her blood pressure had rose up high, and it was the time to save both mother and child. They took my mom to London, Ontario St. Joseph Hospital. My dad left for a week with my mom. Me and my brother were alone in the house for a week. Valentina was born in London, Ontario, by Cesarean section on December 4, 1995, two and half months before her due date February 17.
Once she was born she was fed almost constantly. She stayed in hospital, first, in London, later, in Waterloo until February 17, her due date. We visited her often in incubator in Waterloo Hospital. We held her, fed her, watched her and played with her. I felt sorry for this little person who was strangled in all tubes, needles and IV’s. On February 17, her calculated due date, she was brought home. Then it was constant time of feeding, hanging dippers, washing, laundering and games with her. It was wonderful time. I learned to take care of her too, just like anyone in our family. Taking care of here made me emotionally stronger. I became softer, gentler, and yet more patient, more careful with my relation to other people. Yet difficulties were to come.
When Valentina turned one and a half, she already started talking. For instance, she was rolling her ‘R’ wonderfully. However, soon her lymph node on the left side of the neck became infected and swelled. It was dangerous because it could block air-pathways. It was time for her to be hospitalized again. This time it was for an operation. She was shocked. After hospital she barely talked. Since that time I never heard her say ‘R’ properly. Because it was difficult for us to see her in here this condition, I learned how to feel sorry and learned how to support others, as well as how to be stronger myself.
We moved to Kitchener, Ontario, after a year of living in Waterloo. After two years of living in Kitchener, we moved to Windsor, Ontario. We lived there for four years. My brother finished highschool in Windsor. I started to go to University of Windsor. And Valentina started going to kindergarden. As she was growing and the scar became barely noticeable after operation. She started walking. She learned how to talk. She was learning Russian. She learned numbers. She even learned letters. However, there was another case of illness, when she burned her arm by spilling boiled water from a kettle on it. This time she stayed at home. A nurse was coming over every day to put bandages on her arm. Yet this scar did not go away unnoticeable. When I look on her scar now I realize that not everything can be fixed in life. I learned that not every scar can be healed. Some scars stay for the rest of the life.
My parents left to Fort Wayne, Indiana, as soon as my dad found a job there. I stayed in Windsor to finish school. My parents would call me and I would call them. I missed them dearly. And I realized that after one conversation with Valentina over the phone. She told me: “I miss you, Anastasia,” and I started crying. I could not bear being without her. I left Windsor to visit my parents and Valentina. Soon, after my arrival I realized that I miss them so much, and it is so good for me to be with them, that I have decided to transfer to Fort Wayne. And from that time on me and Valentina are together. I learned from that experience, that my family is what I value the most in my life.
I learned great many things from this experience. I learned that not everything depends on myself. I learned how to be more patient with others. I learned to feel sorry for others. And, finally, I learned that life is fragile and we should be careful with what we do. I think my sister has changed my life in most dramatic way. And I am ever grateful for that.
April, 2002