Religion. Something that people can use to separate themselves from others. A way of explaining everything in the world that doesn�t make any sense. A way of feeling secure, and somewhere to turn to when things go wrong. So why do people preach what they believe instead of letting everyone around them believe in what they want to believe in? The scene opens up to an area that is slightly out of the norm. There are seats to each side of the camera�s view, and the floor is made of marble. White marble, with gold patterning running through it. At the end of the long but narrow room are a large stone structure and several gold candlesticks. The stone structure is a font, and hanging on the wall behind it is a massive wooden cross, with a stone carving of a man�s body hanging off it. The room is well lit due to the large number of windows in the room. Colourful, stain-glass windows. On the windows are pictures of long bearded men and hooded women holding babies. The room is strangely silent, although the humming of a choir can be heard faintly from another nearby room. The room is empty of people except one. The camera spins around to view the seats, or pews, and sat, alone, on one of them is a man. The man is dressed in grey jeans, and a black T-shirt. On the T-shirt is the familiar image of a long-eared, red-eyes, buck-toothed rabbit. The man also wears silver chains around his neck, and dark, tainted sunshades hiding his eyes. His long, blonde hair is tied back in a ponytail by a blue elastic band. On his lap rests a colourful title belt, its leather strap hanging over his knees. It is the Total Anarchy Wrestling Canadian Championship belt, and this only clarifies that the man sat in the centre of a row of pews is the TAW Canadian Champion, The Jackrabbit. The Jackrabbit lets out a hysterical outburst of laughter, before calming himself and staring meaningfully into the camera. His speaks out in his usual high-pitched, fast-paced voice that is by now so familiar to TAW fans. �Hey-a �Rabbit Fans, and a very warm welcome to all them Canadian people. Yep, I can still say that because I am still the Canadian Champion. At Retribution I proved that I ain�t a bluffer. I proved that I am better than �Mortal Torment� Marc Neilson, and I also proved that when Mortal Termite beat me a few months ago at Masters Of The Ring, it was no more than straight-out fluke. You know, when I look back on it now, I reckon he probably cheated. Like, maybe he was holding my tights. Or perhaps he used the ropes for leverage when he pinned me. And hey� maybe� just maybe� I had my foot on the rope, and the ref just didn�t see it. Well, it�s a possibility. But the basic bottom line is that �Mortal Torment� Marc Neilson cannot beat The Jackrabbit now. I beat him fair and square on Sunday night at Retribution. And I got my Retribution on that screwball for cheating a win out of me at Masters Of The Ring. One loss. That is all. I have lost one match in TAW, and I got my retribution for that loss. Yes I did. I mean, I beat that shameful loser with a Sleeper Hold! How degrading can that be? I had the hold locked on with only the thoughts of wearing Ole� Mort down. I thought to myself, �Hey, while I�m at it I may as well give him something to think about when he�s trying to sleep tonight.� And so I twisted his neck a bit harder just for a bit of fun. And what do you know; Marc Neilson taps out like a wild man! What type of a wimp gives up to a Sleeper Hold? Or maybe�. Yeah, maybe I am the man with the greatest Sleeper Hold in the world. That might be it! Maybe my Sleeper Holds are incredibly devastating! Nah, it�s probably just �cause Mortal Termite is a weakling! �Cause after all, The Jackrabbit, that�s me, is in everyway better than Neilson, and any other loser I have beaten in the past. Shawn Boyd, Royce Mathers, Draco. They have all had to face The Jackrabbit and have all lost! They have all faced The Last Laugh; they have all faced The Jackrabbit. Many men have left TAW as a direct result of a loss to me. Such as Dusty Diamond and �Sensational� Royce Mathers. But last Sunday topped it all off. Last Sunday, I ended the career of �Mortal Torment� Marc Neilson. The man who set out to put a stop to my unbeaten Canadian Championship reign, and an end to my TAW career. But Torment�s plans all backfired on him, now I am standing upright� well; I�m sat here on a pew in a cathedral� with my chin raised high, and my Canadian Title where it should be� around my waist� Err� on my lap, even. I showed Marc Neilson that I am no pushover, and the fool under-estimated me. He won�t do that again� well, mainly because he can�t do that again because he won�t ever wrestle again! �Torment� felt the torment� I fed on �Torment�s� despair, and now that sorry excuse is despairing over the torment he is feeling sat at home eating cheeseburgers and sipping Diet Cola. The Jackrabbit tips back his head and lets out an hysterical laugh. The laughter echoes through the cathedral, and eventually The Jackrabbit calms down and his laughter ceases. Once again, he speaks. �But now onto more important matters. Matters that don�t involve the boring former-career of one loser low-life �Mortal Torment� or any of those other low-life screwballs I have beaten. Now I wanna talk about a low-life screwball that I am going to beat. And to be precise, I am talking about the low-life screwball that I am going to beat this Sunday at Sacrifice, a guy named Jebus. Jebus Christ, correct me if I am wrong, but ain�t you that weirdo guy who is constantly preaching to God, and thinks you are The Messiah and that you can work miracles? Well Jebus, it is going to take one serious miracle to pull off a victory over The Jackrabbit� that�s me� this Sunday! HAHAHAHA! I am so funny! But this Jebus guy is funny, too. Jebus preaches and talks blah blah blah about The Holy One, Christ, Our Saviour, The Light and God. I bet Jebus� mouth hurts from all that nattering he does day in and day out. About absolutely nothing. I look around me in this cathedral, and I feel sick to my stomach. And I am a man who will eat hotdogs off the floor. They still taste good; just need a little dusting off. And I am a man who watches the Discovery Channel for long periods of time, and does not get bored. In fact, some of the stuff on there is quite� interesting. But Jebus and his� err� shenanigans� make me feel completely sick. I�ve sat thought �Mortal Torment� and Shawn Boyd matches, but an interview with Jebus makes me feel even more ill and dizzy that that! Yes, it is possible� barely though. Jebus is a �God son� wannabe, and he just doesn�t do it well. After all, I can probably be a better preacher than him. Watch� �You will all worship me� err� �cause I am like the best, and I am�. Your Canadian Champion� which basically proves that you must all� err� erm� testify!� See that, Jebus? Anyone� anyone� can preach a load of trash into a camera. However, it takes a true champion� someone like me� to step up to the challenge of holding a title of great magnitude, and defending it with smart words and true fighting skill. But maybe that�s just it. I reckon that Jebus knows how to talk real loud into a microphone, and bore the death out of people. Sure that guy can speak, but how does Jebus wrestle? I see you hold a worthless piece of trash known to the TAW world as the Extreme Title. What the hell does that mean? You represent �extremeness?� No no no! You can�t represent something that means nothing! I, on the other hand, represent an entire state. The state of Canada. That means something. Well, at least, it does to the people in Canada! So Jebus, that is why I intend to change the stipulation of our little match-up this Sunday. �Cause that Extreme title you so proudly hold means nothing to me, and I refuse to let my Canadian �Rabbit Fans down by handing this title over to you as a result of me beating you down at Sacrifice. This Canadian Title means more to me than that title you have right now, so as a result I am changing our match to a �Winner Picks Title� match. This means that if you beat me by some unimaginable means, then you can take the title of your choosing. Either the Canadian Championship or the Extreme Championship. But so when I beat you at Sacrifice, I can choose the title I want to take with me. And, of course, I pick the Canadian Championship as the title I will walk away with on Sunday Sacrifice as a result of beating you, Jebus. But hey, correct me if I�m wrong, Jebus, but didn�t you win that title from �Mortal Torment� Marc Neilson? Man, I beat that loser last week, he was a breeze. Don�t show much about you, Jebus. Sure you got a title, but look at where you got it! Not much of a challenge, was it, Jebus? Well this Sunday at Sacrifice, you will get a challenge. In the form of me, The Jackrabbit, and the Last Laugh! But wait, preach-boy. I guess you and all my other �Rabbit Fans are wondering why in the name of cheese I am sitting here, on a row of pews, in a cathedral. Well I�ll tell you all then. I figured that if I am to know every move and every tactic that Jebus will use in the ring against me, and then I need to go to a place where Jebus would feel at home. And the way I see it, this cathedral, with all its babies, Virgin Marys and Holy Crosses, Jebus would feel right at home amongst all this� junk. But now I think that was a mistake, because this place has driven me beyond my limits. I don�t think I can stand this any more. That choir is making such a racket, I can�t hear myself trying to think. So here is what I think of Jebus, and his title belt, and everything that the sorry excuse for a Standing Joke stands for�� And with that said, The Jackrabbit walks to a statue of Jesus Christ at the end of the cathedral, and spits onto its face. He then gives it a kick with the end of his toe to show his disliking of it, but he unanticipated the weight of the statue and the strength of his kick, and without warning the statue topples over, knocking a massive candle stick, which then clumsily crashes through a stained-glass window, sending shards of colourful glass spilling all over the floor! The Jackrabbit looks slightly horrified, and then with that, quickly moves away from the accidental destruction, muttering to himself. �Err�. Err� I meant to do that�. Err�. Jebus� Ready Or Not� Here I Come!� And with that, The Jackrabbit hastily does a runner, escaping from the scene of catastrophe. A loud, hysterical laughter echoes down the corridor of the cathedral, and the scene fades to black as the only sound heard is the cathedral door slamming shut, and the faint of humming of choir music.