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Deleted. Deleted. Deleted. File deleted. Back-up in process. Accessing. Accessing Failed. Screw you. There is a computer-screen; flashing and blinking highly charged pixels. A few of them are dying, leaving their subtly obvious turquoise mark. There is a lamp, strewn across burning carpet, and a window perpetually breaking, glass shards flying back and forth like a hail of arrows. The desk is upside down, and paperwork appears to be raining from the ceiling. And all of this is seen through the gleaming, furious eye of one Joan Sullivan.
The camera pulls back, leaving behind the glassy iris, and there is the interior of a mall. Highly polished marble, a wonderful waterfall, escalators moving upwards and downwards and elevators racing them, shops bustling with the so-called �life� of the keen shoppers, their only purpose here to blow the income they so painstakingly earn. Someone runs past, following by security. A shops neon lights� wait, that �someone� looked familiar. The camera pursues the fleeing man, watching his long blonde hair flapping behind him, watching his black T-shirt rustling and seeing him glance over his shoulder through tinted sunshades. His shorts are blue tartan, his boots thick, black and leather. He is one half of Fusion, the upcoming tag team specialists in New Legends of Wrestling. He is The Jackrabbit!
The Jackrabbit runs, fleeing the pursuing security in their recognisable black attire. The camera flashes wildly, and blurs, and in slow motion can be seen a masked Inferno being dropped on his head, not once with the Standing Joke but again with the Last Laugh. There is a cavernous laughter that echoes around the flashback, reverberating over the NLW-emblazoned canvas and around the electric blue ring ropes. The voice of Zach King booms, announcing the winner of the bout, The Jackrabbit. And with a blinding flash, the camera is intact and returned to the mall, and sat lazily in a heap in a pool of water beneath a now-broken waterfall sits the NLW superstar, The Unorthodox One, and in his hand a sapping goldfish flailing wildly for a return to the water. In the distance somewhere is the imminent sound of security.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Uh..heh� Heya �Rabbit Fans! I do appears to be in a bit of pickle. Not literally, though. �Cos uhm, literally, I do appears to be in a bit of a waterfall. I got in trouble in the NLW offices, not really sure why though. And now I thinks I�m in a bit of trouble here. I only came here to buy a Welcome Home balloon for PIC and to get a card for the Sauce City people. You know, �sorry for your loss.� Now I seem to be soaking wet and sore all over, and lookin� bout as washed-up as Inferno after eating two straight losses to Fusion. Yummy.�
Security rush onto the scene, brandishing batons and walky-talkies and The Jackrabbit makes no effort to flee; seemingly, falling head-first into a waterfall and spitting out goldfish has wet his persistence. Security guards surround the waterfall, weapons ready in case their prey makes a sudden move. They close in.
SECURITY GUARD: �I know you, you�re The Jackrabbit. NLW now, ain�t it?�
THE JACKRABBIT: �That�s right, bucko! Ooooh, you a �Rabbit Fan?�
SECURITY GUARD: �Hell no! I was one of the guards HSW brought in a couple years back to try and bring you in. You kept breaking shit, you wrecked the whole Global Domination tour, man!�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh, uhm� well, y�see��
SECURITY GUARD: �Damn, you�re in some serious bull now, man ��
The guards close in further, the speaker reaches to grab The Jackrabbit to pull him up.
�Ahem��
Everyone looks around as the source of the false cough, a man, steps through the guards. He is dressed in a suit with an odd yellow tie that doesn�t entirely look appropriate. Equally, on his head of brown hair lies a baseball cap, turned slightly to the side. He reaches up and straightens the hat, before reaching inside his dark suit and pulls out something. Holding up the identification, he introduces himself with an air of authority, stepping past security to the forlorn NLW grappler.
�Steve Sol, I�m here to collect this man. Jay, do you mind me calling you that or do you really prefer Jackrabbit?� He does not give him time to respond. �Yeah, hi. I�m to be your keeper. A councillor and watcher, if you like� You�ve been causing a lot of problems, Jay. I�m here to put a stop to them.�
Fade.
The camera reverses its fade, darkness being replaced with light, polished marble replaced with dulling concrete, electric escalators swapped for rotting wood. The waterfall, albeit now broken, is substituted with a heap of trash; trash to a bystander, but the remnants of truly great hardcore matches in the sport of pro wrestling. The bustle of shoppers is no longer, in its place the hum of a dying refrigerator and the ticking of an official NLW �Draco� wall-clock. There is no security here around the infamous three-legged stool. Yes, this is The Jackrabbit�s rundown �House of Hardcore.�
STAMP! STAMP! STAMP! STAMP!
There is stamping.
THE JACKRABBIT: �No fair! No fair! No fair!�
STEVIE SOL: �Quit stamping your feet like a child. This jazz is gonna work so much smoother if we just get along.�
The Jackrabbit is stood in the centre of his hut, stamping up and down with no mind to the steel �STOP!� sign he is re-denting under foot. Steve Sol appears to be distracted with a preliminary inspection of his new client�s accommodation. His suit and yellow tie attire remains, but have been relaxed, untucked and loosened. His cap has found its way to a slanted angle once more.
STEVIE SOL: �Look, nothing either of us can do will change this situation, dude. One of the terms of your... uh, employment with NLW was that you�d be carefully monitored and tested to ensure you�re not� a hazard to the public. Kinda important, being a global entertainer and all��
THE JACKRABBIT: �Hazard? Whatchyu mean hazard? Like that time Talon said I shouldn�t be drinking bleach?�
STEVIE SOL: �I can� see why that might be a hazard, yeah. Well this arrangement between me and you is the only way to permit you are contracted with NLW� and the only way to stop the authorities from various countries jumping in to bang you up in a cell.�
THE JACKRABBIT: �But but but� the Sauces City peoples get away with carrying guns and killing people on tee-vee and such��
STEVIE SOL: �Well yeah man, but we�re living in the real world here��
The Jackrabbit gives a hearty giggle and looks a little less irritated about Steve Sol�s presence. He stops for a second, watching Sol inspect the surroundings.
STEVIE SOL: �So this is where you live?�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh yes, yes! Do you like it? Really like it, Steve? I decorated it myself!�
STEVIE SOL: �Call me Stevie, dude. And like it? Uhm... No, not so much. Hey, just so you know, I gotta bring in a few things of my own anyways. Just so you know, Jay��
THE JACKRABBIT: �The name is Jackrabbit.� There is a temporary glower in his eyes, and his voice seems a lot more harsh than usual. This almost instantly passes. �Wait, bring in a--�? How long you stayin� here, bucko?�
STEVIE SOL: �Oh� as long as it takes.�
THE JACKRABBIT: �As long as whowhatwherewh-�
The Jackrabbit is cut off as the wooden door creaks on its rusted hinges, swinging open to admit entry to a pair of generic manual workers, each dragging items of furniture far too large for such a small wooden hut. Nonetheless, they seek stubbornly to fit these belongings; a leather computer chair and laptop computer, a television set on rolling stand complete with DVD player, an ice-cooler, and a filing cabinet. It is from this filing cabinet that Sol takes a bunch of paperwork, not even allowing the worker chance to place it down on the ground. He looks over this file, turning robotically to prevent The Jackrabbit�s attempts to read it. The Jackrabbit soon gives up his fruitless task, instead watching the workers rearrange his �House of Hardcore� to make room for Steve�s belongings. The computer equipment finds its way somehow onto a broken down desk riddled with woodlice.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Hey hey � Don�t put that� Ooooh, nice tee-vee. Can I watch Bob the Bui-� Ooooh, a compooder� can I play on tha-� Is that your�?�
It only takes a moment before The Jackrabbit is squeezed into the clearly-undersized computer chair, happily spinning himself around and around whilst laughing like a hysterical child. Stevie Sol either hasn�t noticed, or refuses to acknowledge this, instead keeping his focus on the files in front of him.
STEVIE SOL: �So you�ve got� Society? Who are these guys?�
The Jackrabbit sets off on a rant, as though he�d been hoping to be given a reason, all the while keeping up his spinning on Stevie Sol�s chair.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh, you mean the Sauces City people. Yeah, they�re people� from the Sauces City. I�ve no cluewho where or what Sauces City be, but it�s okay really, �cos we�re not fighting them in their hometown. Individually� well, individually nobody who�s nobody takes them seriously. Who�s gonna take Jugganaut from X-Men 3 and a fiddy-kiddling pop singer seriously? That�s a pretty kooky team if you ask me� even with Vinnie�s indestructibleness. Them�s like to play with their bang-bang guns� all shooty-shooty and everyone�s dead� but when you seen one shooty movie, you�ve seen �em all! And Jugs and Jacko bring nothing new to the table. I�m not sure which table that means� but they bring nothing new to it anywhos.
But don�tchya worry Stevieo, The Jackrabbit� that�s me!� he knows the Sauces City people are scared of Fusion. Know how I know? Well I know you know how I know. And you know I know you know how I know� it�s because they needed to get Lil Miss Aphrowatsit to help on their Sauces City team. Maybe she comes from there too? Either way, I know all what needs to be known about aphrowatsit too, I�ve heard her song� because she was high, because she was high� and then there�s some other line. Now I�m not a Jackrabbit for heights, not liked �em much really, but Aphrowatsit doesn�t frighten this little �Rabbit. You can bring as many Sauces City peoples as what you want� Fusion, that�s me and Talon y�know, we�re the closest of bestest of chums. Always have been, always will be.
We came to this here En-El-Dub for a reason, and we wants them� what was it� shiny tin cans? Well I�ll have you know, Jugganaut, I�m a particularly big fan of shiny things. And tin cans, too. And you can keep your little girl, �cos Fusion gots bigger aces in their sleeves��
And with that said, The Jackrabbit proceeds to check both of his sleeves, to ensure he has, or doesn�t have, any aces up there. He seems content, his chair coming to a final halt, as Stevie Sol seems to be curiously searching his notes for something.
STEVIE SOL: �Dude, you said� you and this Talon have always been friends, right?�
THE JACKRABBIT: �That�s right, bucko, bestest buds forever and ever��
Stevie Sol seems a little puzzled by this remark. The Jackrabbit seems a little dizzy. Humming and tutting a little, Steve makes his way to the television set, and after a little setting up, has the static playing on it. The camera flickers a little. He slots a DVD into the player, and fires it up, skip-searching for the right chapter.
STEVIE SOL: �Okay, Jay� uh, sorry, Jackrabbit� I want you to do something for me, man. We�re gonna watch through a few clips here on the TV, and I want you to tell me what�s going on��
THE JACKRABBIT: �Ooooh, like a guess-the-program game? I like games! Okay Stevieo, let�s play!�
The screen flickers to life at Stevie Sol�s request, the first clip clearly depicting the end of a pro-wrestling match. The blue and black themed arena set and canvas markings clearly indicate this match being a Headstrong Wrestling production. Four men are in the ring, two easily recognisable as Fusion members The Jackrabbit and Talon, the other two described by the commentary team as Konstance and Amphetamine. The ending is brief, The Jackrabbit hits The Last Laugh, Talon soars in with a thunderous Death From Above, and Fusion gain a victory and are awarded a pair of golden belts.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Ooh ooh, I know this one! Easy-peasy lemon squeezy! That�s when me and Tal won the HSW Tag Team belts� that was a great moment for us, being bestest buddies and Tag champeenos, but ssssssh, Jugganaut Vinnie doesn�t think Fusion have achieved nothing ever in history, so don�t tell him abouts all the matches we won and all the gold we�ve held. He�d be ever-so-upset.�
STEVIE SOL: �Well, of course, man. This uh� Vincent Kane seems the type of guy so wrapped up in his own bullshit that he hasn�t even done his research well enough to realise you guys aren�t a pair of nobodies that him and Jackson are facing at Uprising.�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Yeah, seems�a be summat like that. These Sauces City people probably forget thems even wrestlers half of the time. Can time actually be halved?�
STEVIE SOL: {ignoring the question} �Okay �Rabbit, next video clip��
The Jackrabbit makes a random gameshow noise, but Stevie ignores this too. The television statics, and another pro-wrestling clip shows. This time, it is the NLW debut of Fusion, back at Uprising #10. The screen shows the darkened arena, the yin yan, the maniacal laughter, and then the debut speech of Talon and The Jackrabbit. The Enigma lays waste to Kevin Heat with lead piping shots, and the video cuts to the minute-long staredown between Fusion and the Society at the end of the event. As this video clip plays, The Jackrabbit is hopping up and down with glee. Stevie is giving him a judging side-glance.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Stevieo, Stevieo, I know this one, ask me, ask me!�
STEVIE SOL: �Okay.. uh, Jackrabbit?�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Yes! This is where me and Tal came to En-El-Dub. It was a fun night, that. See, we�ve done loadsa stuff like that here in En-El-Dub; we�ve put Kevin Warm on the injured list, started Plaque on a losing streak, retired Flamey from the company, taken Jin Kazama to the limit��
STEVIE SOL: �You�ve done all those things, but why did you come to New Legends of Wrestling, �Rabbit?�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh, well, y�see, me and Tal are the greatest of buddies� did I mention that already? Lots of people here in En-El-Dub are the same peoples who was in Eye-See-Dub-Ef, so we gotsa prove to all of them that Talon and The Jackrabbit are better chums than all of them. We gotsa prove that we don�t fight and we don�t argue, that we�re so good as a team, that we can beat any two dudes in that circular circle.
Oh oh, and you see Stevieo, the Sauces City people holds them Tag Team belts �cos they wants power and control and to basically bully everyone and hold everything �cos them�s greedy and something-about they want to take En-El-Dub down. We don�t want them belts for them reasons. We want them to help take En-El-Dub to the top, where it should be, and to be the � uhm� headfigurines of a tag team division that�s just gonna get biggerer and biggerer!�
STEVIE SOL: �Good reasons, I�ll give you that. This� Society seem to be wanting a regime of tyranny, totalitarianism, a system that benefits them and only them. And as they grow in numbers, that becomes all the more apparent. But you guys are really showing that they can�t just go recruiting everyone who poses a threat to their so-called vision��
THE JACKRABBIT: �Uh� uh� yeah, exactly what I said. Stop copying my words, that�s cheap, Stevieo��
STEVIE SOL: �Uh, right � on with the tape then, this is the last one� I want your reaction to-...�
And the set flickers to life. This ring is themed in gold, the ring ropes dazzling in this iconic colour, and the canvas is emblazoned with three letters; GWO.
*** Talon sizes up Titan�s laid-out position from the turnbuckle, and instantly he climbs the turnbuckle, in preparation for the DEATH FROM ABOVE! He prepares to leap, when suddenly a loud, long hysterical laugh sounds from every corner of the arena. Talon freezes in his position, his eyes opened wide to their maximum, his mouth gaping in horror, not a muscle on his body so much as twitching. The laughter echoes around the arena, and suddenly the lights go out. The entire arena is shrouded in darkness. Not a single sound can be heard to break the seemingly ever-lasting silence.
The lights flicker back on, and Talon looks around the arena, still standing unmoved on the turnbuckle. There is nothing, not even the usual sound from the audience. Talon then looks down at his opponent on the mat, but to his horror, his opponent no longer lays on the mat. Talon gasps in horror, for in the place of Titan 3 there lays a body. The body is that of a man, with long, blonde hair tied back, and sunshades over his eyes. He wears blue tartan shorts, and a black T-shirt. On the T-shirt is the image of a long-eared, buck-toothed, grey-furred, red-eyed rabbit! The body is laid out with its limbs twisted at crazy angles, its head laid flat on the mat. The body resembles that of �Jay,� the man haunting Talon�s dreams, but the figure sprawled on the mat is dead! Talon drops down off the turnbuckle onto his feet, without moving a single muscle, and stands straight, pure fear etched on his every feature.
Suddenly, the dead body stares straight at Talon and laughs, hysterically, insanely, sadistically. The body jumps to his feet, still laughing hysterically, and lifts Talon easily onto its shoulders. The now standing corpse has Talon vertically on its back, holding his legs across its shoulders, and it swiftly sits down, slamming Talon�s head into the mat, knocking him into a state not far from unconsciousness! The figure laughs hysterically, tipping his head back, and the figure known to Talon as �Jay� runs to the entrance ramp, as Titan 3 crawls into the ring and pins the near-unconscious Talon. 1� 2� 3
EFKTN: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner, and still GWO World Champion� Titan 3!
The character laughs hysterically at the entrance ramp, and shouts to Talon in the ring:
�You thought you�d killed me, Talon! But you should know, THE JACKRABBIT always gets The Last Laugh!� ***
As this iconic video clip played, The Jackrabbit stood frozen on the spot, staring at the screen. It ends, replaced by the usual static. A glazed look is in The Jackrabbit�s eyes, though obscured by his sunshades. He shakes his head dismissively.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh, that. Hm, yeah. That there was me trying to help Tal win the World title. He was fighting Titanic 3, y'know!? I was trying to help him win the title, 'cos me and Talon are bestest friends.�
He moves away from the television now, and seeks something amongst the clutter on the floor. Steve Sol looks perplexed, concerned, and he moves to the corner and makes a phone-call on his cell. The Jackrabbit is cradling something, which the camera makes out to be his old HSW Tag Team Championship belt, which Fusion never lost when Headstrong Wrestling closed its doors. The Jackrabbit holds the belt now like a child, seemingly for his own comfort.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Nope, that makes no sense, no sense at all. Stevieo�s a bad man, a very bad man. Trying to stop me liking Tal. But we�re friends. Close friends forever. We had this. This belt. And we�ll have another one, and maybes that�ll show him then. And everyone else, too. Oh Vinnie, Oh Jacko, you�ll get yours on Sunday. I promise. Fusion will get The Last Laugh!�
Stevie Sol now approaches him sheepishly.
STEVIE SOL: �Listen� Jackrabbit� I know you�ve got a big match at Uprising, and what I�m about to tell you won�t affect that at all. But� Jay, I�m sending you for some mental help.�
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