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The scene opens. The camera pans slowly around and within an instance it becomes apparent where the location is. The setting is a forest, thick and dense and so in many ways like the target of this promo. Trees grow almost literally inches from one another, making the camera�s awkward manoeuvring particularly difficult. The camera slides past a tree, knocking into it roughly, scraping off bark and a forest spider with it. Through a set of vines the camera moves, brushing leaves of all shades of green and yellow aside until it stops. The camera moves to a slow zoom now on an object perched up against a tree in this lush, wild environment. A small portable television set. The camera watches this for a moment, as images of men play across the screen before spinning around. And sat there, just inches from the small set is a figure on a three-legged stool. The figure wears a pair of blue, tartan shorts, black boots and a black T-shirt. Long, blonde hair is pulled back and eyes hidden behind shades. The almost thrown-together plastic belt over the figure�s shoulder is the final clue to this man�s identity being ICWF�s own The Jackrabbit.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Hmmm�� uhhm�. Oooooh�.. aaaahh�.� Slowly The Jackrabbit turns away from the screen and looks into the camera with a big grin. �Hey-a �Rabbit Fans worldwide and beyond! Guess what I�m doing! No no, I can�t tell you, you have to guess! See, that�s the point of guessing, �cos ya don�t actually know, see? Ahh well okies, I�ll tell ya. I�m watching more Jason Chase stuff. Tal fetched it for me �cos he thinks I need to be more readier or summat. I �spose he�s angry at me for keep on losing all the time. It�s not my fault though, really really! Sully was just really good and I kept getting all the time after he put me down, but he put me down one time really hard and I just� forgot to get up. Was busy thinking �owchie� at the time. And then Hop� ohmigosh, did you know Hop is actually two peoples!?� well Hop just sorta got confusing. Two peoples� and then oopsy daisy one of them rolls away� and then whoopsy daisy the other one pins Tal. So I jumps up I does to stop the ref going to the three, but it was too late.
No matters, I won�t let Chasey get away with that. He�s too stuuuuupid, cos he thinks I�m a rabbit. If he was clever like me then he�d know I has hands and feets and eyes just like what a human has, and not big floppy bunny ears and bouncy-bouncy rabbit feet. But Chasey doesn�t know this see, so just like Hop did, The Jackrabbit� that�s me!� is gunna confuse Chasey be being a human bean and beating him all around the squared-circle� hmph, that makes no sense �cos if a square is a circle then it�s not a square and if a circle is a square then it�s not a.. square� uhh, circle� and so a squared-circle can�t be a square or a circle or a square so for the purposes of this exercise then we shall say it�s a� hmm� triangle. I will pin Chasey in that triangle this weekend, why why oh for the love of ice cream why? �Cos I�m The Jackrabbit and �cos it�ll just be sooooo funny!�
The camera follows The Jackrabbit�s eyes slowly around to the television set slumped up against the tree. On the screen there is some sort of movie, or perhaps it�s a trailer, but nonetheless the feature of the production is Jason Chase, The Jackrabbit�s upcoming opponent. The Jackrabbit chuckles softly, whether at the movie or not is debatable, but he laughs even so. Folding his arms The Jackrabbit concentrates heavily on the screen.
THE JACKRABBIT: �See, I don�t get why Tal wants me to watch these movies. They�re not even funny, they�re not even exciting, they�re not even pretty and colourful and they talk about a load of stuffs I don�t even understand. What in the blue sky is a dildo� wasn�t that Frodo�s daddy or summat? I �spose it�s typical of this Chasey guy, going on about nonsense and getting all naked and icky. Ain�t gunna save him at Inferno though, �cos he�s gunna lose anyway. Chasey is the new dude in this place, not me no more, so that means he�s just gonna come in, get beat, and go out. Prolly. But hey-hey!! He�ll still change The Jackrabbit�s losing streak to a� the-opposite-to-losing-streak. Never mind Sully or Hop, The Jackrabbit wants to turn his liddle numbers around, yay-yay, and Chasey�s gunna help!�
A leather-gloved hand lands on The Jackrabbit�s shoulder and he spins around panicked, knocking over the stool on which he stands and landing clumsily with a thud on the ground. His eyes look up slowly, the sunshades having fallen off his eyes, and he sees stood before him a figure in long black robes, flowing brown hair over his face; Talon.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Hi-dey-Hi-Hi, Tal!�
TALON: �You have now viewed the evidence I gave you, old friend? Speak what you have learnt.�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Uhm�. Pass!?�
The Jackrabbit grins up at his friend and tag-team-partner hopefully, but Talon gives him a cold and silent glare.
THE JACKRABBIT: �Uhh. Okay okay! I learnt� I learnt� that Chase�s movies are boring! Mm-hm! And I learnt that.. .uhh� he�s prolly a wrestler �cos he�s betterer at getting all beat up than at being in movies. And I learnt that Chasey gets special treatment of pretty girlies sitting with him in restau-thingies and I doesn�t and it�s not fair but I get ice creams so it�s okay actually! And� more? Uhh� I learnt that Chasey thinks I�m a bunny rabbit, and he thinks the �Santanails� are freaks but Casanono says that he�s gunna get what�s coming to him one day anyway so it doesn�t really matter what he thinks. Well Cas-cas was right, Chasey will get what�s coming to him! Chasey will realize that this ain�t no laughing matter� Inferno is gonna get him all busted into ickle pieces by Your Friendly Neighborhood Jackrabbit! Hehehehhee!!!�
TALON: �You fail to tell of your in-ring strategy, Jay. You fail to tell of the weaknesses you have noticed and the flaws you have discovered in this Jason Chase.�
THE JACKRABBIT: �Uhhh�. He�s not as cool and great a wrestler as me? Uhm� and that The Last Laugh is prolly a bazillion times for fun than this Chaser thingy? I mean, what�s that �sposed to do exactly? Chase me. Well Chasey should know that chasing a rabbit is just a stupid thing to attempt, �specially a jackrabbit of all rabbits. Yup, that�s what I learnted, Tal! That The Jackrabbit is much much and much betterer than Jason Chase, and that The Jackrabbit isn�t gonna lose any more �cos I�m fed up of losing, it�s boring, and that� uhm� oh, and that at Inferno, like it or like it, The Jackrabbit will get The Last Laugh!�
The Jackrabbit begins to laugh crazily but is quickly cut off when he realizes the cold stare Talon gives him. The Jackrabbit sinks into himself, lowering his shoulders and neck, and looking like a puppy being scolded. Talon simply shakes his head and turns on his heels, his cloak swirling around him.
TALON: �Hopeless cause.�
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