We all like to express ourselves through one means of the arts or another, getting our message across to those who care and often as not to those who don�t. Some expression comes in the means of a narrative prose, often hidden meanings put behind the tales, whilst some prefer to words to have a more appealing tone, in the form of poetry or song. Then there is the act of performance, be it live or on film, recreation or creation of an event as the creator imagines� The scene opens. The camera takes its opening opportunity to pan slowly around the large hall, taking in every minor and major detail. It is in a theatre, by the looks of the rows upon rows of red, velvet chairs, lined up perfectly so that one can see over another, the uppermost of which are lining a long balcony around the outside. The stage is at the very back of the theatre, in reference to the entrance, and it is towards this stage that the empty seats of course face. As far as theatres go, it is to be said that this one is somewhat small, but sizeable enough for a low budget or amateur performance� The camera swiftly zooms in towards a pair of red curtains drawn over the stage, hiding it from the absent audience. The camera actually pushes through the split in the curtains, staring at the backstage area. As the curtains fall behind the lens.. THE JACKRABBIT: �Booooo!!!! Hahaha!� Stood in the way of the camera, preventing it from advancing further backstage is none other than ICWF�s The Jackrabbit , clad in his usual attire of a black company T-shirt and blue plaid shorts, his long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail and his eyes hidden behind his usual sunshades, despite being in a low-lit indoor theatre. THE JACKRABBIT: �Hey hey �Rabbit Fans here there and everywhere, weeeeee! Got a oh-so-very special show for you tonight, but more on that later! First, the contestants! But we don�t have contestants cos this is a promo not a quiz show, silly! Well� hum, does Zimderelly count as a contestant, cos he�s gonna be getting a surprise in the bonus round with Your Friendly Neighborhood Jackrabbit at the Paper View, Deadly Revenge! And and and the winner of the show gets to walk away with this loooovely ICWF Television title belt, but there IS a runners-up prize folks! That�s right, the loser� err, I mean, runner-up gets to keep a good ol� fashioned aching head �cos The Jackrabbit� that�s me!� gave them a Last Laugh onto it! Hehehehee!!! Odjie told me Zimdelly�s finishing thingie is the Very Best In Pain� he wouldn�t tell me it�s name, he kept saying �that is it!� and I kept saying �that is what!?�� I don�t think he understood�. But anywho, I don�t think t�is really the very best in pain, �cos surely the Last Laugh is the very best in pain �cos it really really hurts lozza lots� that�s why peoples always just lie there afterwards and if you prod them with a stick, they don�t move. I miss Larry, he was nice. Anywho� The Jackrabbit� me again folks!� will have to demonstrate on Zimby, so he knows �sactly what I means when I talks about the very best in pain. See Zimby� when Talon pushed me off that big high building all that time long long ago in a galaxy� uhh� a long long time ago, that hurt lots, Zimby� that was the very best in pain, maybes� not all the funny strange, whipping and poking and stroking (ooh, rhymes!) that you does. Tickling too, tickling is fun�. But this is about tickling, Zimderelly, this is about you! Today, for the first and second time ever� we is all going to see a Jackrabbit Performance of Zimderella and the Glass Slipper� �cept, we is using an old sandal instead �cos we couldn�t find a glass slipper; oopsy�.� Without even bothering to further explain himself, The Jackrabbit takes a step forward, and a microphone is tossed to him from off camera. The curtains are heard drawing and the camera takes the opportunity to move back into the seats, as The Jackrabbit looks out and addresses an imaginary audience. THE JACKRABBIT: �Ladies and gentlemens, and gentleladies if there be any out there! Welcome to the one, the only, the one and the only Zimderella and the Glass Slipper by yours trulyist, The Jackrabbit (and co.)!!!� The Jackrabbit bows to the applause that exists only in his head, and then exits the stage. He is instantly replaced with two unknown �actors�, dressed in big curly wigs, one blonde and one brunette, suits under their shirts to make them look obese, and makeup applied to their faces to give them warts, moles and bright red cheeks. UGLY SISTER #1: �I�m an ugly sister!� UGLY SISTER #2: �No, I�m an ugly sister!� UGLY SISTER #1: �Noooo!! Me! I AM an ugly sister!� Onto the stage strolls The Jackrabbit, to join the two ugly sisters. On his head is long blonde wig, arguably pointless for his own natural long blonde hair, though the artificial brand is considerably lighter. He is dressed in rags, though around them are bondages chains, collars and straps, which clearly he knows nothing of but for the fact that he has seen them in Zimdela promos. THE JACKRABBIT/ZIMDERELLA: �I am Zimderelly and I is the ugliest of all the sisters! Heehehe!� UGLY SISTERS #1 and #2: �Agreed!� UGLY SISTER #2: �Zimderelly, I need you to bondagate me!� UGLY SISTER #1: �Zimderelly, I need you to stroke me in naughty ikky dirty ways!� THE JACKRABBIT/ZIMDERELLA: �Oh oh oh, I can do that! �Cos I is Zimderelly, and I am only good at doing dirty ikky things that no one wants me to actually really do. But at wrestling I can�t do nothing �cos I am too busy giggling and grinning over dirty ikky things. I say naughty F words lozza lots, and I say I�m going to F the Jackrabbit well really he�s going to F me really really bad. F for finish, I means. Hehehehe. I think that rabbits just makes babies and eat poop, but I�m wrong. Oh yes your wrong. Rabbits fight for survival! �specially jackrabbits! Rabbits don�t go down when rabbits are cornered, they hop and hop and hop and then rargh!! Whenever something corners them. I�m Zimderella and I�m going to corner The Jackrabbit� that�s me� no, wait, it isn�t �cos I�m Zimderelly� oops� and The Jackrabbit is going to fight out of the corner and run away with the spoon� uhm� title, I means. Hehe.� UGLY SISTER #1: �Zimderelly, you thought The Jackrabbit was a lamb, though!� UGLY SISTER #2: �Yeh Zimderelly, you weird little muppet, you think The Jackrabbit is just a message, a bloody message, about the Sentinels!� THE JACKRABBIT/ZIMDERELLA: �Ooooh, giggle giggle, oh oh oh! No! You see, I changed my mind like a good ikkle Zimby. I may be stoopid and dumb to not know that a rabbit is a rabbit, not a lamb, a rabbit rather than a lamb and a lamb is a lamb is a lamb and not a rabbit but a lamb instead of a rabbit� too silly and daft to notice that a rabbit has long teeths and big pointy ears and sheeps are just boring with big wooly coats�. But I isn�t stoopid enough to think I can beats The Jackrabbit. Oh ho no, I knows The Jackrabbit is betterer than me, �cos he was the first-ever ICWF Jobber Champion, and he is gonna be Television Champion soon too. I know I says Jackrabbit is just a message that the Sentinels of Insaneness is on top again, but actually the match is really just a message saying how Mistah Odjie owns me, and The Jackrabbit is better �cos Mistah Odjie picks him to have Television Champion shots �cos he knows The Jackrabbit will represent all the TVs in the world much more than I will. Truthfully, see, thing is, Ugly Sister One and Ugly Sister Two, no matter how many Sentinels there be, Mistah Odjie will always own them just like I will, surely, own The Jackrabbit at the Paper View Deadly Revenge.� UGLY SISTER #2: �But Zimderelly, you know that the Glass Sli-Sandal only fits the real Television champion! Does it fit you, Zimderelly?� Ugly Sister #2 holds out, in his/her hand, the old sandal, a small gray thing with bits of dirt and grime on it. The Jackrabbit, as Zimderella, snatches the shoe from her, and sits down on the floor with a thud. Pulling off his combat boot, he then proceeds to try to force the sandal onto his feet, seeming not to notice that it is three or four sizes too small. After a while, he gives up and looks up helplessly to the two ugly sisters. UGLY SISTER #1: �Zimderelly, it seems it doesn�t fit you, Zimderelly! That means you cannot be the rightful Television Champion!� THE JACKRABBIT/ZIMDERELLA: �I guess you be right, then. I really am just an annoying, weird, swearing screwball who does odd, strange, confusing things to peoples and doesn�t deserve to be champion of all teles! But who then, mewonders, is the real worthy Television champion?!� UGLY SISTER #2: �Zimderelly, what about that Jackrabbit guy you face at Deadly Revenge V?� UGLY SISTER #1: �Yes, The Jackrabbit!?� With this said, The Jackrabbit pulls off the wig and the rags and bondage gear, revealing his original attire of black T-shirt and blue shorts. He makes a bow to his imaginary audience, and grabs up the sandal, forcing it onto his already bare foot! UGLY SISTER #1: �It is, it is The Jackrabbit who should be the Television Champion!� UGLY SISTER #2: �The Glass Slipper fits The Jackrabbit! Congratulations Champ!� The Jackrabbit grins and wiggles his toe, now in the filthy sandal, around, raising one arm to the air. He then looks to where the camera sits. THE JACKRABBIT: �You see that, Zimby? The Glass Slipper fits me �cos I be the best cand-candid� candy for the Television Championship. You talks the talk about odd thingies that no one �cept you understands, Zimby, but that doesn�t makes you big and it doesn�t make you clever and it certainly doesn�t make you big. When The Jackrabbit talks, The Jackrabbit talks sense. People�. �Rabbit Fans� know what The Jackrabbit is all about� and that�s climbing the great big imaginary ladder in the sky. Zimby, The Television Title is the first stepping-stone on that ladder� and I didn�t make that up, Tal told me it! Hah! You may have two ugly sisters, a glass slipper, a girly in a funny suit and poems, Zimby� but The Jackrabbit has a poem, too, ya know!? Here� Jackrabbit and Zimby fought at the Paper View, And there was� uhm.. nothing Zimby could do.. To stop the Jackrabbit�s ferocious wrath� Uhm� what rhymes with wrath? Gosh-darn it, I needs Tal� uhm� oh oh, I get one, hehehe� �cos The Jackrabbit always gets The Last Laugh! Heheheheeheh!!� The Jackrabbit tips back his head, laughing hysterically and as he does so, the curtain on the stages draws across, until he can no longer be seen, only he laugh echoing around the theatre as the camera focuses in on some words spray-painted on the curtain that it could be sworn weren�t there before. �See you at the Paper View�