Culture. A variety of traits that distinguish one person from another, one place from another, or one whole race from another. Culture is defined by the way we as people act, the way we look, our beliefs and the surroundings we live in. Some cultures are considered stronger than others, some are more �morally right� and some are considered unacceptable, but only by those of different culture. Culture is the general understanding that we are all different, and acceptance that difference is not a dividing factor but rather a way to embrace peoples of different lands and times. The scene opens first to what is quite apparently the sky, a deep stark blue streaked only the wispy white of clouds; gentle summer clouds, rather than the deep dark grey that would signal for shivering rain in the imminent future. These clouds, however, are the perfect symbolism of the coming day of warmth and mid-year entertainment. A sound is heard on top of this idealistic image, a faint thrum growing louder as the camera�s sight gradually lowers from its vertical stance. The sound is a swinging rhythm, beat out in single notes one after the other, melodic in its historic nature. Around this peace-inspiring noise we hear the sound of voices, a hundred and one conversations exploding around us and yet to our ears they are completely worthless. The words are foreign, and to the eardrums of the English-speaking viewing audience the words mean nothing. The camera finally lowers enough to catch the sights that set forth this audio that has been running only a few brief moments, so telling in its intricate simplicity. The people are the most obvious thing, for the sheer number of them, the majority wrapped in unusual clothes of all sizes and colors and known to this culture as jinb� and jūnihitoe. These people stand around stalls and food vendors in a large open plain, the plain itself surrounded by traditional Japanese architecture. The swinging rhythmic sound comes from a long set of drums, wide, round and red in color. These are the taiko drums, manned by people in dark black hakamas, patterned with white Japanese symbols and red and yellow rope. Around each of their heads; white headbands. The taiko drummers continue to beat out their tempo, sending their cultured sound across the plain. As inspiring as the unusual Japanese sight before us is, it is the structure behind it that is dominate in this landscape. Only a hundred meters or so behind the taiko drummers is a huge building, tall and overlooking. It�s stark green and gold colorings are a contrast to its white, and to the blue sky behind it. Moving up in growing spines, the structure resembles the tower of a castle; in fact, castle is the correct word for the camera�s focus now is the famous Ōsaka-jō, or Osaka Castle, thus pinpointed our present location to Chuo-ku, Osaka, Japan. The camera notices something now, suddenly, that does not fit. It is not a food vendor offering burgers and fries, which would most definitely not fit in with the assortment of fried seafood, raw seafood, rice and sauces. It is, in fact, a very American man in a very American attire of jeans and a T-shirt. This very American man, is skipping (or even hopping) across the huddle of Japanese natives. He wears a big plastered grin on his face, and long blonde hair in a ponytail to try to keep him cool under the heat of the Land of the Rising Sun. This man, in his jovial manner, can only be HSW�s own, and one half of the tag team Fusion, The Jackrabbit! Of course, he is here in Osaka to promote the HSW Global Domination tour that he, unwitting, elected himself to be the official representative of, and to wrestle his upcoming match at Friday Night Shocker against former Equilibrium member Jonny Kae. The Jackrabbit, for the first time, notices the camera and spins around on his heels, bouncing towards it. The camera does not falter for a moment, even as The Unorthodox One sticks his face, sunglasses and all, right up into it. THE JACKRABBIT: �Hey-there �Rabbit Fans, especially the ching-chong hong-dong ones over here in Japan! I would �spose everyone is wondering just what on Earth their favorite Jackrabbit is doing in Japan, well then I shall tell all! As you know, or you should, �cos if you don�t, seriously, where have you been for the last millennium?! The Jackrabbit was �specially selected by Mr. Itchy Pod from all of the other HSW guys.. he picked me to be the official HS-Dub Global Denomination Representer. That�s why I have been flying all over the world, and it�s a big place don�tchya know, to make everyone buy the Paper View. Well now here I am in Japan. I must say, the first thing �bout this place is the way everyone talks funny and you can�t understand a word they�re saying; it�s almost like listening to a Taurus promo! Except without the �bitches and hoses�� and without all the naughty words� and the pretty cars and bling blings� and without superballin� outta control! Woo. But apart from all that, as I was saying, I hate Taurus muchly. Yep. They also have strange icky foods here� like frying squids and octopuses and mussels� I mean, correct me if I�m wrong but never ever is The Jackrabbit wrong.. but shouldn�t muscles be used for wrestling and lifting heavy things and stuff, not munching. Hm? Maybe it�s just me though, haha! I should maybe ask someone with big muscles some day� maybe after I beat Jonny Kae, I�ll get a match with someone with some muscles!? Hehehehehehaha!� Giggling to himself crazily, The Jackrabbit turns on his boot heels to see the impressive Ōsaka-jō castle behind him. He makes a long �Ooooooooooooooooh!� sound at the sight of the white, green and gold spectacle and immediately begins hopping towards it like a child that�s just seen a playground. Frighteningly, this metaphor might be closer to the truth that one would expect. The HSW superstar makes light work of the queue of tourists, both Japanese and otherwise, that are lining in hopes to see the interior of the Castle, by hopping in between each visitor in turn, muttering words along the lines of �sorry,� �exsqueeze me,� and �you don�t understand me so it�s okay.� After handing over some yen (probably too much), The Jackrabbit finds himself entering the sacred building. The entrance hall is just that, a long hall with deep white stone-looking walls, the long stretching expanse only jarred by the presence of automated elevators, the doors of which stand in a deep brown. INFORMATION DESK ASSISTANT: こんにちは大阪へのそして歓迎は城郭で囲む。 好むツアー情報をか。 The Jackrabbit blinks at the Japanese, shrugs his shoulders, and hops into the nearest elevator. The assistant calls after him, but the Japanese words fall on deaf ears. The Jackrabbit hits the nearest button, not understanding the unusual symbols on the buttons, and the elevator doors closes as elevators have a habit of doing. One short judder later, and The Jackrabbit exits the elevator and wanders out into a huge open area that must fill the width of the Ōsaka Castle. In one far end he sees something that to him looks like nothing more than a bright red room; but is in fact a life-size replica of The Golden Tea Room, the original built by the founder and creator of the Osaka Castle, Hideyoshi Toyotomi. This �bright red room� bears no interest to a man like The Jackrabbit; however, the Exhibition of Historical Materials directly next to the Golden Tea Room does. The wrestling superstar bounds across to the huge glass panel and begins sticking his face up against the glass, licking and slobbering all over the container that holds within it many of the famous Japanese artifacts from the history of the Osaka Castle and Hideyoshi Toyotomi himself. THE JACKRABBIT: �Oooooh, fancy little.. uh.. things. I bet these must be real important for them to be all inside glass and such and such like in this big� castle thing� in Japan. Yeah, you know what, I reckon JonJon would really love some of these things. His big posh house is full of funky artifacts and thingamabobs from old dead people. These would fit right in. Y�know �Rabbit Fans, methinks that just goes to show the type of wrestler this Jonny� uh� Jonny� I know it�s a letter of the alphabet I just can�t remember which one� uhm� Jonny Jae. Yeah, that sounds about right. Jonny Jae is the type of wrestler what likes to prance around being all posh and all rich and la-di-dah, but when it comes down to actually wrasslin�� JonJon just winds up staring at the lights. I don�t mean that he stands in the ring� with a light bulb in his hand, and looks at it. Silly. I mean he�s flat on his back �cos The Jackrabbit or some other dudey has just pinned him. I mean, take Steamer for example. Steamer beat Jonny Jae for the big top title� and JonJon, well, he was all sad �cos he wanted the big top title likes most wrestlers here do� so Jonny Emm, he said he�d have another fight at the Paper View to beat Steamer for the belt. All la-di-dah, like I said. And what happened? Steamer beat him. Again. Now this leads The Jackrabbit� that�s me, by the way!� to wonder. What in the blue sky and the orange grass makes Jonny Pee think that he has any chance of beating The Jackrabbit, just a couple weeks after Steamer beat him at Atrociousnessity? I�ll tell you �sactly what makes him think that, curious �Rabbit Fans and �Rabbit Fans alike. �La-di-dah� that�s what! Methinks and youthinks and everyone-thinks, that La-di-dah is what is gonna make Mr. Dee lose this match-up with your Friendly Neighborhood Jackrabbit. He�ll be all posh and prancing around grabbing little artifacts like these ones here, and this will make The Jackrabbit come along, and whilst Jonny Ex is laughing about his artifacts, The Jackrabbit will slam and bam and wham jam him with a Standing Joke and Jonny Ell will be beaten. Hm, that�s an idea! I think I�ll grab one of these here artifacts to distract JonJon with on Shocker! Oooh, strategies� Talon will be proud!� And with this said, The Jackrabbit attempts to grab one of Hideyoshi Toyotomi�s ancient artifacts; stopped only by the glass. This does not stop our Jackrabbit though, and he immediately mutters about �stupid glass� and drives his fist through it. Before he can even grab one of the many relics with his bleeding fist from within the now-broken glass, an alarm begins to sound loudly. This is an international sound that even The Jackrabbit can understand, and without even noticing the security guards dressed in un-security-guard like Japanese attire, The Jackrabbit has gone rushing towards the elevators, an ancient rolled-up scroll in hand. The elevator doors shut just as the security reaches them, and hitting wildly at a Japanese symbol, the elevator goes speeding upwards. The doors reopen now on a higher floor in the Osaka Castle, and The Jackrabbit steps out; surprisingly calm again as if this new location has completely wiped his memory of the madness he caused just a few floors down. This floor is decisively smaller than the last, but just as adorned with Japanese history and culture as the previous. Japanese writing is commonplace, and a polished oak makes up the walls and floor all around us. The camera pans the room, taking in the panorama vision folding screen chronicling The Summer War of Osaka, and the screen on the far left of this showing the twenty-one generals that depict the Summer War and tell of it in all its glory. Apparently though, none of this has caught the attention of The Jackrabbit. His focus of thoroughly on a glass container on the far right of the Panorama Vision. Dropping the scroll artifact he had moments ago stolen for Jonny Kae, the wrestler moves towards it. He does not notice the scroll itself get lodged in between the elevator�s doors, preventing it from going back down to where, no doubt, security is summoning it. Inside the glass container that our superstar has found is a highly detailed reconstruction of the epic battles between Osaka legends Yukimura Sanada and Tadanao Matsudaira in The Summer War of Osaka. The reconstruction is created by miniature figures, each one correctly created, painted and positioned to recreate the action as it was so many centuries ago. THE JACKRABBIT: �Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! Do you �Rabbit Fans know what we have here? Oh, this is something very special indeed. This is magical and mind-blowing in all sorts of ways. It is an honor for me to be stood here with these things� these� toys!!!!!� Without a second glance, or apparently a memory of his previous foolishness only two floors below, The Jackrabbit breaks the glass container with his fist, again setting off an alarm. However, no security rushes forward this time. Apparently any security that may or may not have been set up here was out of position. The floor only consisting of television displays and recreations undoubtedly would also warrant more lax security measures here. The Jackrabbit suddenly seems quite content with playing with the miniature Japanese legends, making them attack each other, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that men of the same army generally don�t attack each other. The reason for this mistake becomes apparent, however, when The Jackrabbit begins his commentary. THE JACKRABBIT: �Take that! And that! And that and that and that! How many times did I have to tell you that The Jackrabbit always gets The Last Laugh, Jonny Eff? Perhaps now you will release! Smash bash crash! Arggghhhhh!!! Yes, I bet that hurts doesn�t it, JonJon? Well there�s a reason for that. That reason is, you�re not really as �bad ass� as you like to pretend. Everybody knows nobody can be a �bad ass� and a La-di-dah at the same time! Your �bad ass� side tells you that the Two Bosses, that is Boss One and Boss Two in case you didn�t realise� you think they put you up against The Jackrabbit because HS-Dub fears you? Jonny Arr, HS-Dub doesn�t fear you; The Jackrabbit� that�s me!� doesn�t fear you, neither. Though I am a bit of HS-Dub. Or so Tal tells me, anywhoodles. But that�s not the point! Don�t get me right, JonJon, I think you�re a pretty good wrestler and all. You been at the main event fighting Steamer, and everyone knows Steamer is awesome and the bestest� that�s why he�s World Champino. See, apparently, World Champino makes you better than everyone! But you�re not World Champino, are you Jonny Tee? No, you�re not. You�re not even Junior Heavyweight Champion! You�re especially not Tag Team Champino like me and Tal are. Well we practically are, anywho� Constantine and Amphalongwordthatmakesnosense are keeping them warm for us. Very nice of them, too. Jonny Que, you said that �on Friday night, there are no reporters, no hype, no lights and no cameras�� right? Actually, JonJon, you�re wrong. Dead wrong! See, on Friday Night, at Shocker, there will, in fact, be reporters. They�ll be there to write about what happens in our match. Oh, and there�s also lots of hype� Talon tells me this match is quite antsi� antic-� looked-forward-to. So, lots of hype� people expecting big things from us, JonJon. And actually, as it happens, there will be lights. Wrestling in the dark would be really difficult and pretty silly, don�tchya think? I do, anywho. And uhm� JonJon, this match is going on the telly.. so that means there�ll be cameras. Quite a lot of �em too, silly you!� The Jackrabbit bursts out laughing, to himself, before stuffing a couple of the miniatures into the pocket of his torn, grey jeans. He hops to his feet and skips across to the elevator, scooping up the scroll artifact on his way. As he does so, the elevator does immediate close with The Jackrabbit inside and the elevator begins its descent. Only a moment too soon, it would seem, as the moment the doors slide shut on the alarm-filled �World of The Summer War Of Osaka� floor, does the fire exit burst open from the outside, the plastic seal on it breaking apart, and a score of security guards rush into the room to find; nothing at all. The camera now cuts fluidly to the entrance of the grand building known as the Ōsaka-jō, the Osaka Castle to English tongue. A moment passes in which all there is to be seen are the busy Japanese people in their colorful robes at all the oriental vendors and stalls, but then suddenly like an unwelcome burst of lightning The Jackrabbit comes tearing out of the Osaka Castle, screaming �ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!� at the top of his lungs. Numbers of the Japanese look at the apparently-crazed lunatic running out of their sacred castle as he comes skidding, literally, to a halt just a foot in front of the camera from which he is being viewed worldwide. He stands there now, looking back warily at the Ōsaka-jō, panting and holding his knees. Then he laughs. And laughs. As only The Unorthodox One can do, The Jackrabbit laughs. The laughter subsides in a snap, just as it started, and he stares into the camera through his reflective sunshades. A grin that shows off all his pearly teeth crosses the man�s unshaven face, and he begins, in his usual high-pitched and fast-paced babble. THE JACKRABBIT: �LLLLllllladies and gentlerabbits, this is your public service announcement brought to you by Your Friendly Neighborhood Jackrabbit and official HS-Dub Global Denomination Representer! Japan is a country you should avoid at all costs, due to loud nasty alarms, icky foods, strange languages, Jonny Double-Us, and security dudes what chase you through castles. The only thing this place has going for it is the cool little toys and Global Denomination itself; order it now! As for this Friday Night on Shocker, Jonny Vee, you�re not going to know what hit you. I shall tell you what will hit you. The Jackrabbit. That�s me! JonJon, you think I�m some� what-was-it? �Unworthy midcard competitor!� Well more-the-fool-you screwball, when this �unworthy midcard competitor�� oh dear, now look what you got me doing, I�m calling myself an �unworthy midcard competitor� now! Except, this one is going to pin you. Then what will that make you? An unworthy bottom-of-the-card competitor? HAHAH! Well Tal reckons you�re one of those types I shouldn�t underestimate� he says that�d be making the same mistakes that you are, Jonny Ess. So I won�t say you�re bottom-of-the-card, JonJon� I�ll call you a main eventer; that way, I just look super cool when I beat you, right? Mwhahahaha! I�m not staying in bed, JonJon! I�m not I�m not! I�m not tired; please don�t send me to bed! Let me stay up late like all the cool kids, please! I can handle it! You�re just making me madder and madder by sending me to bed early, Jonny! Yes, you may be the aging carnival. But I am not the new rabbit. Screwball, I am The Jackrabbit, and that�s all I need to be. Keep your dang carnival, JonJon, all the clowns and candy and hook-a-duck can�t save you from me! Well, maybe the candy� depends how much you�re offering. Mmm.. Uh� where was I? Ah yes, HS-Dub wants blood, you say? Well I was a donor once, I�d be happy to donate! Where do I sign? Oh Jonny Jonny Jonny� why, Jonny Wiy? You�re going to learn a cold hard lesson about this Jackrabbit, and about Fusion in general. Your lesson is this� well; actually, I don�t know what lesson you�re going to learn. Tal didn�t elaborate on that bit. What I do know though, is that you will find out why they call me The Jackrabbit. They call me The Jackrabbit because The Jackrabbit always gets The Last Laugh! Mwuahhahahaahahahahahehehehehe!� And right on cue The Jackrabbit tips back his head, and stares at the darkening sky as the Japanese bustle around him. The camera out to see three Japanese security guards exiting the Osaka Castle and looking right across in The Jackrabbit�s direction. Either alerted of this by the cameraman or by sheer luck itself, The Jackrabbit looks back and notices this arising complication. His Adam�s apple bobs up and he scratches the back of his neck, loosening the collar of his felt-tipped Global Domination T-shirt. Without another second�s thought, The Jackrabbit dashes past the camera, which has to do a complete 180-degree turn to keep him in its view. The security guards notice this and take chase after the speedy man, who flees the scene screaming behind him. �ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!� The camera cuts to static.