Law. Some like it, some hate it, but we all have to abide by it. The law is a system put in place by governments of every country and every state to maintain order within that place, to ensure that a case of anarchy does not ensue and lead to the misuse of property, places and people. A lawless world would be a place where no one underlying opinion defined behavior and everyone would act exactly how they wished, which in many cases would cause disruption and harm. A general unit polices the world to enforce these laws and ensure they are carried out, and if they are not, an assessment of the criminal activity takes place and punishment ensues. The scene opens in a far more upper class, polished location than we are accustomed to from these sorts of promos on Headstrong television. The camera pans, taking it all in, the wood that makes up the majority of the furnishings. A raised wooden desk, known as �the bench,� fronts the bleakly-painted room, a second wooden podium beside it. This bench is at the very front of the room, aside from only the painting behind it. In front of the bench lies a twin pair of desks, each designed to seat two, and thus they are seating two, and between them a small podium containing a microphone only. Behind these tables there lies a wooden bar and then a row of chairs which are seated mostly by jabbering members of the public. The camera spins around what is now evidently the historic court room in Brockville, Ontario, Canada. A bailiff stands in his position of prominence against the wall, closest to the public than any other. Adjacent to the judge�s bench are the distinct seats of the court clerk and court reporter, apparently signifying that court is almost in progress simply by their seated position. The court room is a flurry of activity, very much unlike the calm scene we are shown in Hollywood blockbusters. The plaintiff sits in its position, as does the defendant, still awaiting his lawyer�s arrival. It is this defendant that our camera now spins on, focusing. As much as an attempt at fitting in with the formal suit-and-tie dress code has been attempted, nothing about the defendant fits the setting. Long blonde hair has been disregarded down his broad shoulders, silver chains hanging down from his neck and around the aqua-blue shirt that he wears, unbuttoned at the top to reveal a black T-shirt beneath it. The absence of a tie is apparent, and the dark grey jeans that are vaguely visible above the desk certainly do not match the man�s attire. White sneakers kick to and fro beneath the table. However, the most out-of-place item on this man�s look is the overly-thick white leather belt, silver-tinted gold plates shining under the court room chandelier, the embossed words �World Tag Team Champion� prominent amongst the flags of various countries and the logo of the Headstrong Wrestling corporation. This man, then, can only be one of two men, and his distinct appearance clearly removes any doubt that this is The Enigma. No, this man finding himself sat uncomfortably out-of-place in a Canadian court room is HSW Tag Team Champion; The Jackrabbit. THE JACKRABBIT: �Hmmm ho, hello �Rabbit Fans� it seems that for some reason or another that I don�t really be understanding, this Mr. Andies dude has decided to put The Jackrabbit�that�s me!� into this big court place. Now as far as me remembers, some dude in a wig will pop out, say something about The Jackrabbit has been a very naughty boy for advertising HS-Dub�s Global Denomination Paper-View (pre-order this weekend from your local cable provider, by the way!!!)� and then The Jackrabbit will get a slap on the wrist or be told he�s getting no pocket-money for a month, methinks. If I�ve been really bad, I will get grounded and won�t be allowed to go to the Paper-View, which sucks monkey-balls. I�ll tell you for why. If The Jackrabbit gets grounded by the dude with the funny hair, then I won�t be able to go to Global Denomination which means for sure that Talon will be having to defend these here World Tag Team belts all by his lonesome. Now, Tal is a big guy but I don�t be thinking he can beat up Krispy Carmaker and Jasey Sprite all by himself. They be the� uhm� Higher Arky. Which means, methinks, that they are a bigger arky than Fusion, or somethin�. So if Tal doesn�t have The Jackrabbit by his side at the Paper View, who will help him compete with Krispy and Sprite�s arky? Especially with Jonny Eff at ringside, too!� The Jackrabbit is interrupted from his monologue by the appearance of a woman at his side. The woman is attractive, short in stature but with a perfect, smooth face and deep brown curls falling down to her shoulders. She has green eyes looking at her defendant from behind spectacles, and her attire is formal dress, a black blazer over a buttoned white shirt and pressed black bottoms. She holds in a hand a folder, which she places on the desk next to The Jackrabbit. THE JACKRABBIT: �Hello, my name is The Jackra-� WOMAN: �I know who you are, Jay. I�m Lauren, remember? We met up this past week, to discuss your case.� The Jackrabbit eyes Lauren a moment, a look of uncertainty in the blue eyes that are, on this rare occasion, not shielded by tinted sunglasses. Slowly he nods, suddenly grinning and bouncing out of his chair, a small laugh escaping his throat. This only causes Lauren to sigh. LAUREN: �Sit down now, you can�t behave like that here, Jay.� THE JACKRABBIT: �You mean, Jackrabbit?� LAUREN: �Uhm yeah� Jackrabbit. Look, do you remember what I told you about this case? You cannot plead innocent�� She registers the blank look on his face. She responds as though she�s known him for years after only one meeting. �By that, I mean, you can�t say you didn�t do it. You did do it, Ja---� I mean, Jackrabbit. And the judge will eventually know you did it. Somehow, Headstrong Wrestling captured almost every incident whi-� This time it is Lauren who is cut off, by the sound of the presiding judge�s gavel on his bench, the ceremonial knocking reverberating around the court room. The judge takes his seat, dressed head to toe in black, the traditional white wig a-top his head. Lauren sighs wearily, an audible sign to accompany the tired look in her eyes, and the pair fall silent. She cannot help but notice The Jackrabbit watching the traditional court opening as though watching a gripping movie, rather than the beginnings of his own fate. JUDGE: �Court is in session, silence please! We are adjourned hear to trial the criminal accusations of one Mr. Jay somebody coughs over the judge�s voice, based on the accusation of trespassing, vandalism, escaping police intervention, and evading the United States taxing system. Withstanding evidence has negated the need for a jury, and the final decision will be mine, Chief Justice William Gilbert. We will hear first from the plaintiff. Mr. Attwood, the floor is yours. Proceed.� The Jackrabbit looks shiftily around, the scene very new to him and not entirely sure what he is supposed to be doing here. Lauren watches her defendant with a very watchful gaze, thinking for a moment that she almost saw The Jackrabbit raise from his seat when Judge Gilbert requested the plaintiff. She bites her lip in a way that would seduce many but under this particular occasion it is designed for a completely different reason. The plaintiff lawyer steps forward, a tall, middle-aged man, dressed in a black blazer almost matching Lauren�s, a plain red tie being the defining feature of his average shirt. He coughs once, almost for attention, and then proceeds. PLAINTIFF: �25th July, 2006. Break and entry into the White House, private residence of the President of the United States of America, in Washington D.C, Washington, America. 27th July, 2006. Three cases of private damages and theft of ancient artifacts incurred within the Osaka Castle, Osaka Japan. 3rd August 2006. Two cases of public damage to canal vessels in the city of Venice, Italy. 10th August, 2006. Damages, public disturbance, mispayment of purchases, and harassment of restaurant staff within the city of Monterrey, Mexico. 19th August, 2006. Trespassing and vandalism of public, protected building, the Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia. 23rd August, 2006. Another case of vandalism and disruption on the London Eye in London, England. 30th August, 2006. Finally, attempted breach of usage laws of Niagara Falls and evasion of police arrest, here in Ontario, Canada. Each of the aforementioned cases were captured on film which we able to obtain from the Headstrong Wrestling archives as visual evidence. As you can see, your honor, string of offenses across the globe, and these are only the ones we know about. This man also shows no remorse for his actions, who knows how long this might have gone on had United States police forces lead by Detective Inspector Anders been tipped off and caught this man. I call to the stands my first and only witness, twelve year old boy Chris Welsh. Chris was riding the London Eye tourist attraction in London, England, within the capsule that the defendant vandalized before fleeing.� The young boy passes the bar and is helped to the podium beside the judge. He looks straight ahead, barely moving, staring straight at head at the plaintiff Attwood, who readies to question him, as the boy occasionally twitches between words as the oath is spoken and sworn on the Holy Bible. PLAINTIFF: �Now Chris, I�d like you to explain to the courts, what you saw in that capsule the day you rode the London Eye.� CHRIS WELSH: �It was� it was crazy!� Twitch. �He just� he came on. It was bullshit! There he was� and� and� the� blue, everywhere!� The prosecution presents its evidence, Exhibit A, in a sealed bag; it is the clothes of a twelve year old boy, spray-painted blue all over. Chris continues. �I� I used to love HSW. But now� now� I get made fun of even when I say NOTHING!� Twitch. �This� this Jackrabbit� he�s a color-spraying, child-hating Nazi! Go to any� any� other fed and he�d be� destroyed.� Twitch. �And� and that is based on my opinion. Because in HSW, it�s sub par!! SUB PAR! And it is on purpose! I�m� I�m not Chris Welsh� I am Shawn! SHAWN!" Twitch. And I would appreciate if The Jackrabbit stopped� just stopped� He is a grade �a� [bleep]head! Thank you for your t... time� I�m� out..� Twitch. A stunned audience, Lauren, The Jackrabbit and the judge included look on with blank expressions as the plaintiff leads Chris Welsh away from the stand. He thanks Chris, before turning to the judge again. PLAINTIFF: �As you can see, clearly disturbed; disturbed and mentally scarred by his experience. That is all, your honor.� The plaintiff takes his seat at his table, looking himself a little bit worried about the character he just unwittingly presented to the courts. Before the judge can even open his mouth though, The Jackrabbit hops to his feet, much to the horror of the lady sat beside him. THE JACKRABBIT: �Do I get to sit over there now?� He points to where Chris Welsh was momentarily sat. The judge does not look impressed. �Is it my turn yet, Mister Judgey? By the way, Laurey here telled me to say that I done it, I do-� He is immediately pulled back into his seat by Lauren, who stands to her feet, clearing her throat and giving the judge an apologetic look. The judge nods to her, allowing her right of speech and she steps away from the table. Shuffling her papers as if to give herself an air of authority, Lauren proceeds, her eyes almost always on the judge through her spectacles. LAUREN: �Your honor, my client is not denying the charges brought forth against him. Allow me a moment, though. As you know, Jay here was bordering on impossible to both catch and to locate due to his apparent absence in all official records. This was caused by his being registered as deceased and by him going by his pseudonym �The Jackrabbit� for the past eight years or so now. This was no deliberate act of avoiding the law. Let me explain. From delving into the history of The Jackrabbit, aided in particular by archives kept from various professional wrestling promotions he has been a part of, I have determined that just over eight years ago, Jay was pushed from a building by his best friend, a man he now knows only as �Talon.� Jay was presumed and reported dead, however he had not died in the accident but instead suffered a series of psychological effects from the fall, including but not limited to a severe case of amnesia. His mind after the fall could be compared to that of a poorly-developed ten year old; a ten year old with a body and all the knowledge that an adult would have developed through their life. The fall turned Jay into the man you see here now, a hybrid between a grown man and a young child, a man that calls himself only �The Jackrabbit. I have given you a more detailed background, including evidence, within my substantiation package.� The point I am making, your honor is that this man I defend cannot be held responsible for his actions over these past months; due to his condition, he has no perception of crimes and laws much like a child does not know it is doing wrong until informed of this fact.� The Jackrabbit looks up from playing �thumb wars� with himself, and scratches his head; he looks across at Lauren, stood in front of the judge. THE JACKRABBIT: �I did wrong?� Lauren gives a look to the judge as if to say �see what I mean?� She shuffles her papers and continues. LAUREN: �Your honor� his behavior is no act. I have studied footage of The Jackrabbit in wrestling promotions as well as watching him on CCTV over the past week; to conclude only that if this were a fa�ade, he never drops it. The only inkling of losing this personality I have yet seen is during Jay�s rediscovery of the man known as �Talon� and his following attempts at retribution for what he considers an act of betrayal. Yet just like a child, your honor, the man has forgiven the whole incident like it was just a falling out in the playground. If you will, your honor� I am not pleading innocent for this man, but rather I am...� JUDGE: �...you are pleading a case of insanity, then Ms�� Lauren cuts him off, her tone raised as if to really emphasize her point. LAUREN: �No no, he is not insane by any usual definition. I am claiming that he has a mental condition that needs addressing before any form of appropriate action can be taken against this man. Bluntly, your honor, I am suggesting that the defendant requires help rather than punishment.� The judge nods and for a moment he just watches The Jackrabbit who appears to be trying to turn the bolted-down chair he sits on into a rocking chair by shifting his weight in it. He hits the gavel on the bench and raise a hand to Lauren and Attwood. JUDGE: �Court adjourned, we will re-commence in 15 minutes.� The public audience sigh a collective breath of relief and hurry out of the courtroom. Lauren leads her client out, taking him out into the corridor. She gives him a quick word of inspiration then heads to the ladies� bathrooms, leaving him to sit in the long corridor with only the red carpet and a cold, steel bench for his company. The Jackrabbit sits on the bench quietly for a minute, swinging his feet before producing his trademark sunglasses from his pocket and placing them on his nose and over his eyes. He looks to the camera for a second, then breaks out into an almost-hushed laugh, letting the noise escape his throat freely. When the laughter finally subsides, he reaches forward as though patting the camera. THE JACKRABBIT: �Blah blah blah blah! No, I�m not mimicking a Jason Sprite promo, I�m talking about that court room place back there. They talk all this nonsense that doesn�t mean nothing or anything to The Jackrabbit� that�s me, by the way!� and I just sit there hearing �Jackrabbit this, Jay that, insanity this and craziness that. That Laurey person even mentioned Talon once or twice, methinks. Wasn�t really listening past that. All me knows, is that the girly is trying to make the man with the funny hair let me go to Global Denomination. And so long as I agree that I done all those bad things, I will be allowed to go. I really want to, y�know? Me and Tal came here to show the entire wrasslin� world that all the stuff Laurey was talking about in there, is over and done with. It�s in the past, it�s ancient history like that big war with everyone shooting each other. I think that�s finished, anywho, not totally sure. Either way, this isn�t GWO, this is HS-Dub, and here in HS-Dub there is a little thing called �Fusion.� Fusion means, or so I do be told, that me and Tal fight like one� that�s why we have the exact same belts as each other. �Cos we be a unit, and we are the single strongest unit in all of HS-Dub. We came here with two real true aims� to show the world we are friends, and to create a stronger, betterer Tag Team division in Hugstrong Wrestling. Well, we�ve done the first one. Methinks, anywho. We overcamed Constantine and Amphalongwordthatmakesnosense to win our first Tag Team titleness, and we beat The Mexico-an Jack-In-The-Boxes to defend it. But now we have to go through this random pairing of Krispy Carmaker and Jason Sprite to help make the Tag Team division stronger; and on our shoulders too. Not literally� �cos some of the dudeys here are quite heavy and I don�t think my shoulders were hold �em all up. But without literallyness, the Tag Division is going to rest on Fusion�s shoulders and we will be the rulers of them all with pride! Now, Tal tells me that these bullies are actually wrestling legends or something. Krispy Carmaker is some sort of HS-Dub hardcore legend� which means nothing �cos Tal has been hardcore champino of every single place he�s been. And Jonny Jae is actually a bazillion time World Champino. Oh big freakin� deal, screwball. I beat World Champs before, and Tal�s beat World Champs before, and the only real World Champ that me knows of especially is The Steamer. Jonny Gee couldn�t beat Streamer, he couldn�t beat Tal, and he won�t beat Fusion; but me sposes that�s why he stepped out and let Sprite in. Now, apart from being a Talon rip-off, Sprite is some CORE legend or something�. Now, correct me if I�m wrong but I�m not wrong� but that means he�s just a hardcore legend like Krispy, but without the HARD bit. So Jason Sprite is like� a softcore legend. Mwuahahahahahahaha!! Higher Arkies� me and Tal, we know how it feels like to lose matches here in HS-Dub. We fell to I-pod and Al CoPop when we first came here. The Jackrabbit� that�s me!� fell to you, JonJon, and to Vain only weeks apart� but one thing that Fusion don�t do is lose titles. Tal only done that once, and that was my fault for interfering in the match� sorry, Tal! And me, I never lost a belt, like ever. It�s �cos I like belts almost as much as ice-cream, y�see� belts are pretty. And these here World Tag Team belts are really special and if I be allowed to go to the Paper-View, I don�t be planning on losing �em to some upstart softcore legends like the Higher Arky only a few weeks after winning �em. JonJon, Krispy� you picked the wrong dudeys to try to bully. Bullies are cowards, and that�s exactly why Spritey got dragged into this whole thing. But Spritey is just gonna have to learn how HS-Dub works the hard way by being pinned for however many seconds it is you have to pin someone for to beat �em� I forget. Bank on something� the non-Jesse version, that is� and that is that Fusion will not be losing on their first pay-per-view event. Fusion will not be losing on their first non-Mexico-ans title defense. You three started this whole thingamabob by picking on us, and you guys got the first laugh. But they always say that he who laughs last, laughs loudest. And everybody and their momma and their papa and their little niece Sarah-Jane knows that, along with his buddy Talon, The Jackrabbit always always always gets The Last Laugh!! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!� The Jackrabbit�s laughter echoes around the corridor, causing him to receive glances from curious passers-by, many of whom are returning to be spectators at his trial within the confines of the court room. The Jackrabbit is silenced suddenly by a woman�s hand on his shoulder, and he glances up to see Lauren looking down at him. He can tell just from the look on her gentle face that the laughter needs to stop, and after a moment he has slowed it to a soft snicker and finally silenced himself. She nods to the court room entrance, a pair of big wooden doors, and The Jackrabbit takes the hint and returns to the room with a hop, skip and a jump. Lauren waits a moment by the doorway, running a hand through her wavy hair, nibbling gently on her lip. She lets out a fatigued sigh, feeling no gain from the water she momentarily splashed on her face in hopes of bringing more life to her features. The truth was, she had spent much of the night watching professional wrestling tapes; something she had never before done in her life. The moves meant little to Lauren, the commentary and plots meaning less. But she was not flicking through years old tapes of TAW, GWO and ICWF footage for her pleasure. She was gaining evidence and knowledge about her client this day, the man known only to everyone around him as The Jackrabbit. The only man that could shed any further light on the case had been impossible to find, living true to his nickname of �The Enigma,� and Lauren had resigned herself to the fact that the tapes and CCTV footage was the only truths she had in front of her. One meeting with The Jackrabbit had been plenty to tell the woman that she was not dealing with a dodgy criminal, not defending the acts of a shadey felon who wanted a cheap reprieve for his actions. This man was ill; this man didn�t need locking up, he needed help. He needed someone who could understand him and help him. Lauren wasn�t that person; she was a lawyer, her life�s work was the law. Lauren couldn�t get inside The Jackrabbit�s complex head, but she knew somebody, somewhere, would be able to. Lauren knew that what she had requested in that court room was more than just a little hopeful. She had seen from the judge�s reaction that he was not expecting such a far-fetched request, and deep down she doubted it would even be properly considered. She had not gone for the easy route here; a simple plea of guilty and acceptance of the attached fine, perhaps even some community service, and her client would be free of his actions. But Lauren wasn�t in this case to pick up her check from a wealthy wrestler, anymore. Lauren was here to help the man calling himself The Jackrabbit. Lauren was a lawyer, but first and foremost, Lauren was a caring person. Rubbing her tired eyes, Lauren re-entered the court room and found her seat beside The Unorthodox One. The court room was its noisy, bustling self as spectators filled their seats, the court clerk and the court reporter preparing their materials, the prosecution preparing itself for the judge�s return. Finally Judge Gilbert makes his return to the court room. Standing slowly behind his bench, he bangs his gavel for order, and without wasting anybody�s time, he breaks into the final decision granted him by the absence of a jury in this particular procedure. Lauren looks almost as eager, if not more so, than The Jackrabbit sat beside her fiddling with his sunshades in his lap. JUDGE: �I find the defendant, Mr�� Somebody sneezes over the judge�s speaking. ��guilty of the charges. Taking into account the evidence presented by the plaintiff, it seems clear that the defendant had no intention of ceasing his crimes nor any regard for international regulations. It seems only fair that a monetary fine be issued forth, a sum to be decided within the next seven days. However, taking into consideration the points made by the defendant and the evidence folder provided to me, the defendant�s case of mental deficiency being a cause is a valid one. Therefore, sessions will be set up with the attempt of locating and aiding the psychiatric illness, and the defendant will be ordered to attend these sessions with a top psychiatrist over the following months. Failure to attend�� The judge continues reading his final verdict as a figure stands at the very back of the spectators. Wrapping his long black cowl around his dark jeans and black T-shirt depicting a gold falcon, the tall man exits silently through the large doors. The Jackrabbit, on the other hand, just looks up from the table, scratching his head and looking at his lawyer. THE JACKRABBIT: ��psychi-whats?�