Victory. A feeling that can make a man higher than any drug could take him. A feeling that could give him a rush that would make him feel alive again. A feeling that could overshadow any ill feeling or defeat he may have experienced before, and lift him back up and send him soaring into the sky, as light as a cloud. So long as that victory doesn�t go to your head and take over your mind, a victory is a good thing for a person to have every once in a while. The scene fades into a large logo on a symbol. A symbol of the letters �J� and �R� mixed into one, single, new letter. This logo spins at the camera and instantly it is gone and the cameraman must find himself in a long, dark street. Streetlights cast small pools of illumination in areas around the street, as busy cars whiz by to do their daily work. People huddle into the buildings beside the road� they are newsagents, bars, gun stores, and sex shops! The street appears, actually, to not be the most pleasant type of place a guy could be in� or a girl for that matter. And then, surprising, onto the scene walks a man with long-blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, and his eyes are hidden behind dark, stained sunglasses. The familiar character is wearing blue, tartan long shorts, and a black T-shirt. On the T-shirt, the image of a flaming eagle being engulfed by a large, open-mouthed rabbit is emblazoned. The character is quite unmistakably The Jackrabbit from GWO; he�s the only guy crazy enough to wear tartan long shirts and sunglasses on a cold, dark night like this! The Jackrabbit is, quite crazily, jumping up and down with excitement� literally. He stamps his feet up and down on the pavement, as he hops, skips and struts, Flair-style, down the road. JACKRABBIT: �Yahoo! I won! I won, I won, I won! I beat Acao! I beat Talon� Acao� I got my revenge� ha ha, he�ll never push me off a building again, cos I got revenge and beat him in a wrestling match! Wahoo! I rule, I know it, I rule, I show it! Yeah! Yeehaa! Eat that, Talon!� It seems that The Jackrabbit is celebrating his victory over Talanacao at GWO�s Monday Night Murder. And it also seems that he has probably been doing it for the last three days! Many passers-by give Jackrabbit a strange look. Suddenly, up to him walks a man, dressed in a leather jacket and torn-up jeans. The man has long black hair, and sunglasses. As he passes The Jackrabbit, the man pulls out a knife from his pocket and holds it near to The Jackrabbit�s chest! VILLIAN: �Look �ere, �appy man� empty out ya� pockets if�n ya� don�t wanna be sliced up wif ma� knife, you hear?� JACKRABBIT: �Matey, I can�t understand a word you saying. You remind me of Kirk James!� VILLIAN: �Wot the �ell are ya� talkin� �bout? Jus� empty ya� damn pockets or I�ll slice an� dice ya,� you hear?� JACKRABBIT: �What�s with the accent and all the �you hear?� VILLIAN: �Don�t ya� try�n be funny wif me, �appy man, cos� I ain�t �avin� it.� JACKRABBIT: �You listen up, screwball. My name ain�t Happy Man, it�s The Jackrabbit. You hear? And stop doing Kirk James impression, cause it�s driving me sane! Now� why in the blue sky do you want me to empty out my flumin� pockets, screwball?� VILLIAN: �You is well f*cked up, bunny rabbit! I�m gonna slice n� dice ya� for tha �ell of it, now, you hear?!� JACKRABBIT: �What up, old chap. Think about your actions just for a second here� number 1) you can�t kill The Jackrabbit. Talon found that out himself. Number 2) If you bring pointy there anywhere near me, I�m going to kick you onto this floor, sit on your head and do a great big Eddie Amazing in your mouth� you hear?� VILLIAN: �Wat� in the f*ck are ya�?� JACKRABBIT: �Who, me? I�m your friendly, neighbourhood Jackrabbit!� As The Jackrabbit says this last line, he pulls up his arm, and whistles. The taxi driving past them stops, and Jackrabbit hops in without hesitation, leaving the villain watching after him as the taxi drives away. The driver turns around to see his next passenger. TAXI-DRIVER: �Where to, mate?� JACKRABBIT: �Mont-Joli Airport, please, mate.� TAXI-DRIVER: �The Eastmain Airport is closer, man.� JACKRABBIT: �Nah thanks, I�d rather have Mont-Joli. It sounds like a jollier place.� The taxi-driver gives The Jackrabbit a curious look, before turning back to his wheel and driving on. TAXI-DRIVER: �Not from Canada, are you mate?� JACKRABBIT: �Nah, from Pittsbuggha, Pennyslivania I think� at least that�s what my bio says.� TAXI-DRIVER: �Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?� JACKRABBIT: �Okay, Okay� you�re right, I�m wrong� no need to rub it in!� Again, the driver cannot help but show a curious face. He considers asking his passenger what he is talking about, but then thinks better of it. TAXI-DRIVER: �So, mate, what brings you to Canada.� JACKRABBIT: �Well, I stay in an abandoned house� summat about a bomb scare� or was is it a radiation scare? Anyway, I got bored of just sitting on a stool in there, �cause I do that day in day out, every single day 24/7. I figured I�d get out a bit.� TAXI-DRIVER: �Err�.. yeah�. So why did you decide to come to Canada?� JACKRABBIT: �Well, back in TAW I was the first-ever and undefeated champion of Canadia, you know, I was Canadian champion. So I figured I come see what the �Rabbit Fans in Canadia think of me now�� TAXI-DRIVER: {half-sarcastically} �Yeah�. Err�. good reason.� The Jackrabbit, throughout the conversation, has been squirming to get comfortable on the back seat. There seems to be a lump at the edge of the seat, where The Jackrabbit is trying to plant his ass. JACKRABBIT: �Taxi seats are so annoying!� TAXI-DRIVER: �What the hell?� The taxi driver turns around to see The Jackrabbit on his knees on the floor, lifting up the taxi seat. He puts his arm underneath the seat, feeling in the gap between the leather cushions. Suddenly, like the mozzarella from a pizza, The Jackrabbit pulls a shiny golden title belt from under the seat. The Jackrabbit catches the belt up into his arms, and cradles it. It has a black, leather strap and golden plates� on the largest, centre plate are the words �COMMONWEALTH CHAMPION� and above that the letters �GWO�!!! Jackrabbit flips the title over and over in his arms, and polishes the gold. JACKRABBIT: �Hey cool, I found a title belt!� The Jackrabbit replaces the seat and sits back down on it, now feeling much more comfortably seated. He puts the belt over his shoulder; like so many different wrestlers have before� he doesn�t seem to show any concern that this title belt happens to come from the company he currently works for, or for the fact that this belt is Silvio Syn�s lost GWO Commonwealth title belt! TAXI-DRIVER: �You want me to hand that thing in to lost property?� JACKRABBIT: �No! Finders Keepers!� TAXI-DRIVER: �Hmm�. Strange. � Whether the driver means the belt or The Jackrabbit, who knows? But he continues to drive, and eventually they reach the Mont-Joli Airport in Quebec, Canada. The Jackrabbit gets out of the taxi, and almost walks off without even glancing back at the driver. TAXI-DRIVER: �Hey mate, that�ll be $45 please, mate.� JACKRABBIT: �Oh, right, yeah.� The Jackrabbit bends over and opens the suitcase he has been carrying his luggage in. He takes out a little red, blue and green wallet, and tosses the newly found Commonwealth Title belt into his bag. He slams the case shut, and takes out $45� in the form of 45 Silver Dollars! Jackrabbit counts through the coins, and then hands them to the taxi driver. The taxi-driver checks the amount twice, and then nods and sends The Jackrabbit on his way, with a slightly relieved and concerned look on his face. He then drops the coins on his dashboard, and notices with alarm that they don�t make the normal noise of metal� suddenly, he grabs one and fiddles with its shiny surface� then the truth hits him! TAXI-DRIVER: �Hey you! Get back here� these coins are chocolate!� But The Jackrabbit does not hear and does not stop� he is not trying to get away with a cheap taxi drive though� no, he probably just simply doesn�t realise that paying with chocolate money just isn�t acceptable. The Jackrabbit toddles off towards the airfield, where all the aeroplanes wait for their takeoff, and then leave for their destination, only to return with the next days or two at most and they will then repeat this boringly endless cycle over and over and over again. Nevertheless, The Jackrabbit hopes and skips towards the ticket area, his luggage in hand, in search of a plane that can take him to Australia in time for GWO�s Murder event this coming Monday in which he will be main-eventing in the comeback match of the infamous Eddie Amazing! After checking through the passport areas, The Jackrabbit hands in his luggage, and after an awfully long p*ss, he boards his plane and takes his seat (after over five minutes if searching for it.) The Jackrabbit�s face shows nothing less than absolute and pure horror as the plane finally takes off for Australia� he really doesn�t like heights� unsurprisingly. Eventually, after shutting the blind on his window and rocking backwards and forwards in his seat for about ten minutes, The Jackrabbit becomes calmer, and decides to address what is in the seat next to him� the camera. �I really really hate heights� I never used to� I used to love sky-diving, but then a certain �friend� of mine decided to push me from a god-knows-how-many-storey high building, and since that day I just� had something against heights� dunno why. Oh sorry, how rude of me� Hey-a �Rabbit Fans! You�re listening to The Jackrabbit� that�s me! Until I got into this blasted plane, I was feeling pretty good about myself� I guess I�ll get over the plane� probably after I�m off it. Last Sunday at Murder I managed to kick Talanacao�s ass. Deep down he is still Talon� but now he is weaker� he may have snapped, but he took this whole thing a little too far. The Jackrabbit got his revenge on Talon for nearly killing me over five years ago, and now what many of your �Rabbit Fans call a saga� an era� has finally come to an end. Is it because Talanacao�s got his ass whooped like� as if� as if by a professional ass-whooper? Nah, it ain�t that. It�s over because The Jackrabbit says it�s over� I plain out got bored of Talon, Talanacao, The Stigma, The Hunted Turn Hunter Turn Hunted� whatever. So I decided to leave the poor chap alone, wot wot. Seriously, a one-all draw is cool with The Jackrabbit� But this isn�t over Acao� when you least expect it �old friend.� But not only did I beat punk Acao at Murder� just moments ago I found me a title belt. How cool is that, huh? I am now a champion� not quite sure which champion, but I am a champion nonetheless� and not saying I don�t deserve it� after all, I am The Unorthodox One, The Jackrabbit! I wrestled pretty well at Murder, didn�t I? Well, whether you�re a �Rabbit Fan or not� actually, is there such thing as a Un-�Rabbit Fan? Nah� silly, silly me. I would spank myself, but I�m straight as a barbed wire 2x4. Err�. oops. Anywho, lately there�s some big hype about this Gauntlet thing� but I got the advantage �cause I used to watch The Gauntlet on tele. So I know what I�m going into� what I wanna know is, in this match-up with Eddie Amazo, who has the big plastic pads, and who has to do the running? �Cause when I saw it last, there was like seven or twenty guys in the runway with plastic gloves, pads and stick-things, and the other guy had to run through �em all�. Had a name I think� Err� Warriors? No, knights? No�. I dunno. But what I do know is that this Monday at Murder, I am going to beat Eddie Amazo. This guy is making some big comeback or summat, as if that�s a real cool thing� And everyone is all like �Oh, Eddie is back. Oh no, we�re all doomed, cos he�s some big tough rough guy or summat, and he�s just gonna kick everybody in� and �oh my God� The Jackrabbit�s the first in his path!� Whoa whoa whoa-oh-Oh! Hold on there, Buck Rogers! Who says The Jackrabbit is gonna be the first in little Amazo�s path? �Cause to be completely bloomin� honest here, I don�t wanna be the first in his path! It�s not fair! Why me? Why? Why? Why? I�m just not havin� it! No, Eddie may be some jumped-up little livid legend or whatever, but I am The Jackrabbit� Eddie isn�t the man, �cause to Be The Man, You Gotta Beat The Jackrabbit. And Eddie most certainly hasn�t beat The Jackrabbit� I don�t think� well, if he has, I certainly can�t remember it. Like, why in the blue sky is Eddie a legend anyway? And how exactly do you get legendom? Hey cool, I invented a new word to add to my dictionary! Err� back to the point, how do you get legendom? Is it like a great big library where you sign up, and then seven months later you get a reply saying whether or not you have been accepted to be a legend. Or maybe there�s some great big guy with a white beard and a pointy hand who says to people �Eddie Amazo, you are truly Amazo-ing and so now you is a legend!� Ahh, who knows? But basically, if this Eddie guy is a real legend, mayhap when I do a Jackrabbit on him, whoop his Amazing ass all over this Aussy arena, then I too will be a legend. I will be The Man, The Myth, The Jackrabbit! Yeehaa! Eddie Amazo is just some smoke fags, drink beer, screwball type of person. Bo-ring! Eddie, basically �dude� Ready Or Not� Here I Come! This is the first match I get in GWO outside of that psychotic killer Talon� I ain�t gonna blow this Edward. That�s ya real name, right? Well, bad ass Eddie Amazo� not quite sure what makes you think you�re so Amazing, after all� you�re not The Jackrabbit, are you? Hey, you�re not even a Jackrabbit clone� or are you? Good Lord, what if you are� two Jackrabbits in one ring� coooool! But even if you are are my clone Edward, you will still have to learn that The Jackrabbit always gets The Last Laugh! � The Jackrabbit lets out a long, hysterically crazy laugh. He sits back in his chair and closes his eyes. The scene re-opens some many, many hours later, as The Jackrabbit gets off the plane� he looks like he has probably been asleep, yet he is chucking to himself� must have had a funny dream� again. The Jackrabbit moves casually to the area he must collect his luggage from� his luggage that includes several pairs of tartan long-shorts, some trademark �Jackrabbit� T-shirts and his newly acquired Commonwealth Title. Reaching the luggage collection point, The Jackrabbit searches through the many bags and suitcases. He begins to get frantic� his case isn�t there. He has lost his long-shorts� he has lost his T-shirts� and he has lost his Commonwealth Title belt! The Jackrabbit tips back his head and looks up at the clouds� �NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!� Scene.