Montel Vontavious Porter: The world's our oyster.. and no, Kennedy - I don't mean blue oyster.

Kennedy doesn't look too happy.

Ken Kennedy: Now why the hell would you go and say that?

Montel Vontavious Porter: I'm feeling the need to entertain myself seeing as someone forgot to hire the entertainment for tonight.

Ken Kennedy: Give me a break, didn't I tell you why I forgot? I've got a few more important things on my mind than some stupid entertainment. If you wanna be entertained pal, get yourself a stripper..

Montel Vontavious Porter: If you would of hired the entertainment, I would of had myself a stripper!

Kennedy looks as to say " oh, yeah. "

Ken Kennedy: Well.. that's probably a good point.

Montel Vontavious Porter: That's what I thought.

By now the limousine has stopped, the driver opening the door and both men stepping out. A few silent moments pass by with Kennedy and MVP both looking at each other. The baggage handler rushes out, realizing he forgot something and waving a finger.

Baggage Handler: I'm sorry, I've forgotten something, I'll be right back.

He rushes off, MVP looking at Kennedy and shaking his head.

 Montel Vontavious Porter: This is what we've gotta deal with? First we're told to be facing Scott Steiner and King Booker.

Ken Kennedy: Which completely suck's seeing as how we'd like some competition in our debut match.

Montel Vontavious Porter: THEN we're late arriving..

Ken Kennedy: Because the driver had trouble finding that big white thing namely our hotel.

Montel Vontavious Porter: AND NOW we're stuck waiting for some minimum wage earning moron to come get our bags - I bet he asks for a tip.

Ken Kennedy: Drink and Drive, that's the perfect tip for that idiot.

Montel chuckles slightly with Kennedy.

 Montel Vontavious Porter: Anyway, where's that damn baggage handler, he said he'd be right back - doesn't he know who I' am?

Ken Kennedy: You mean, who we are?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Yeah, well, I guess so.. bah, what does it matter? Where the hell is that incompetent idiot?

The " incompetent idiot " comes back and grabs Ken Kennedy's bag, walking off into the lobby of the hotel leaving MVP looking rather confused.

Ken Kennedy: Apparently he has no idea who YOU are, MVP.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Hey.. you.. get your ass back here.

Being an " incompetent idiot " he leaves Kennedy's bag where he stands, walking over to MVP and grabbing his.

Ken Kennedy: Oh, yeah - that's smart.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Looks like we're dealing with an young Einstein here, doesn't it? What's your name, pal?

Before he speaks, MVP cuts him off.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Yeah Yeah, it doesn't matter. Haha, I couldn't even pretend to care, how about that?

Kennedy laughs all of a sudden being joined by three people, two women and a man, each carrying bags and utilities.

Montel Vontavious Porter: It's about time you guys showed up, what type of crew takes this long to arrive?

Crew Man: The type of crew that ride in a taxi instead of your limousine?

MVP slowly removes his glasses, approaching the now gulping crew man.

Montel Vontavious Porter: I don't remember telling you you could speak. Perhaps you mistook my self questioning as a question for you, Barbie - well let me assure you, the next time I want to hear incompetence speak, I'll ask you, or the bell boy here.. hell, I might just walk into the nearest town centre of this disgusting vile state and pick any idiot at random and ask them.

Now he sighs.

Montel Vontavious Porter: So this is what we're gonna do, you're gonna zip that lip of yours and keep your mouth shut and I'm going to save myself some time by not standing here berating someone who probably doesn't understand what I'm saying anyway!

Montel walks off, straightening his glasses and entering the hotel, watching as the bell boy grabs all the bags this time and along with his crew and Ken Kennedy, follows him inside the building. MVP heads towards the check in desk, ringing the bell.. no-one comes to.. he rings again and again, no answer.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Excellent start to the day, huh? Incompetence accompanied by more incompetence with a side serving of what, Crew man?

Silence.

Montel Vontavious Porter: HEY, I'm talkin' to you, moron - answer me!

Crew Man: Incompetence?

MVP rolls his eyes.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Shocker. Was that difficult for you? No? Really? Because it seemed difficult.

MVP rings the bell again.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Where the hell did I hire you from anyway, eh? Did I run the big blue special bus off the road and hand pick you from a set of retards?

Finally the check in desk guy arrives, looking through his book.

Check in Clerk: Name please sir?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Haha, funny..

The clerk doesn't see the humour, the crew guy behind MVP almost spelling out with his mouth the words " Mr. Porter ". The clerk still doesn't get it.

Check in Clerk: Name? Please?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Okay Whitney, that's funny.. but I'm over it, move on. I'd like to see my room, make sure everything is up to standards.

Check in Clerk: I'd love to check you in sir, you seem.. well.. overwhelming, but I can't unless you give me your name.

That doesn't impress MVP not one bit, Montel grabbing the clerk by the jacket and dragging him across the counter, screaming what can only be heard as jibberish at him, the crew man again spelling out " Mr Porter " with his mouth and FINALLY, he gets it and clicks on.

Check in Clerk: M.. M.. Mr. Porter..

MVP lets him go, smiling some what.

Check in Clerk: My.. My apologies sir, I was told you liked to joke.. and.. and.. and thought I'd try to be funny, my mistake.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Yeah, whatever - show me to my room will you, I need to relax, all that shouting has giving me a throat ache.

Ken Kennedy: Maybe that throat ache can be attributed to deep throating your way into UPW? Oh and with a name like Montel Vontavious Porter, you know you had problems Haha.

Montel Vontavious Porter: What is it with everyone thinkin' they're a comedian, eh? At least my parents had imagination, Kennedy.. who names their kid Ken, anyway? Not to mention with a last name Kennedy? Ken Kennedy... KENNNEEDDDYYY..

MVP laughs.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Sounds like you have an elongated stutter.

No-one laughs at that statement, MVP just walking off in a huff, his crew soon following after him.

The scene opens with Montel sleeping in his hotel room when suddenly there's a bang at the door waking him up. It's a shock to him, seemingly he wasn't expecting to be awoken up and stumbles out of bed slowly trundling over to the hotel room door and opening it slightly.

Montel Vontavious Porter: What do you want?

MVP opens the door wider, walking away.

Ken Kennedy: C'mon buddy, we've got some business to take care of today - you know, match preparation for next week.

Montel laughs, yawning.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Haha, that's funny. You're startin' early with the jokes tonight, huh?

He gets back into bed, pulling the sheets over him, Kennedy pulling them off.

Ken Kennedy: Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can get your ass back into bed. We've still got somewhere to be, we're facing Scott Steiner and King Booker in a matter of hours.

Montel Vontavious Porter: King Booker?

Ken Kennedy: That's right, King Booker!

Montel Vontavious Porter: I wasn't asking in awe you idiot.

Ken Kennedy: Surprise Surprise.. so what?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Nothing. I mean, hey, if you want to rush off to facing Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner and the self proclaimed " KING " Booker then go ahead. But I'm going to lay my sweet ass here and focus more on NOT wasting my time and energy.

Kennedy thinks about it, sitting down on the bed.

Ken Kennedy: So you're just not going to turn up?

MVP sighs.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Do I have to draw you a picture? Are you really that blonde Kennedy? Really? I thought it was perhaps peroxide but the more time I spend with you, I just don't know, it seems stupidity runs straight through you in exactly the same way it would say, I don't know - Trish Stratus? Barbie? Britney Spears? Hell, give me 10 seconds.. c'mon, let me see if I can name as many bimbos as I can in which YOU remind me off..

Ken Kennedy: Are you done?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Christina Aguilera, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Brooke Hogan, Jessica Simpson, That blonde girl outta Scrubs - uhh.. uhhh..

Ken Kennedy: BUZZZZZZ... Time up Moron, are you finished?

Montel Vontavious Porter: I guess I' am. What are you still doing here anyway, don't you have some Hugh Jackman films you just HAVE to watch before you just DIE?

Ken Kennedy: Yeah, that's right, I've gotta rush off and watch Hugh Jackman movies. Tell you what MVP, if you don't get your ass out of bed and get a move on, I'm going to beat the snot out of you until you do - I don't want to lose this match and we both know the only way we're gonna lose is if we don't show up.

Montel laughs.

Montel Vontavious Porter: You'd sound so much more scary with, oh I don't know, a set of balls?

Kennedy looks set to pounce, MVP holding up his hands in a calming motion.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Haha, alright, alright, I'm up I'm up - Keep your bimbo wig on, Jesus Christ.

We return to Montel Vontavious Porter sitting down on a stool talking on his cell phone, looking rather tired.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Yeah I know, don't even ask. I mean I'd probably understand if the competition were anything to be afraid of, but Jesus - it's only Scott Steiner and King Booker. He's had me here since early morning waiting for this match, I've had to watch UPW promote this match with Scott Steiner flexing every muscle and  part of his body except that small pea sized brain of his and King Booker transformed from Spinning Top to Queen in a matter of months. It's been a nightmare, a complete nightmare and to make matters worse, I can't find my so called " team " anywhere.

He stops to listen for a second.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Alright bro, yeah man you keep ballin' too. Alright, I'll catch up with you in a little while.. You still Rollin' as V.I.P? Good stuff. Alright, out.

MVP flips his phone down, shaking his head in complete frustration.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Today has been hell. You wouldn't believe it if anyone else bar MVP told ya. Ken Kennedy has had me sitting here from dusk til now waiting for some stupid match. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to get out there but why should I arrive early and pretend to focus myself when the only problems my opponents pose is that of themselves in general and their ability to actually find their way to the arena tonight.I mean come on, does anyone out there really believe King Booker or Scott Steiner has what it takes against MVP alone, let alone Montel Vontavious Porter and Ken Kennedy as a unit? Alone we're amazing, but together we're phenomenal. Now I know some of you people might consider me arrogant and hey, thats your opinion and I don't care much for it. You see when I step into that ring, you're lookin' at the single most valuable player UPW has ever seen - I don't wear all these jewels and ice because they make me look fly, I don't wear them because lay away was an available option to me and trust me when I say, lay away was an available option. I wear these iced out pimp pieces of jewellery because I worked hard for them, they show the world exactly why Montel Vontavious Porter is where he is in the business today.

He smirks, the cockiness flowing through him now.

Montel Vontavious Porter: King Booker and Scott Steiner might have some experience over both myself and Ken Kennedy, but I don't have to assure anybody how little that means when you compare how each one of us competes. You see Booker has that whole I'm gonna run like the black plague and Steiner would rather drop and give you 20 push up's to show his muscular strength than pin you for a three count. So if you think about it, whilst Booker is running scared and Steiner is pushing up for the love of, well, himself.. MVP and Ken Kennedy will be right there to score the much needed pinfall, because yeah - if running like a bitch and impressing no-one bar yourself with push ups could get you a win, I'm sure we'd be beat - but seeing as this isn't the X-Files or Mr. Universe, I'm pretty sure we're safe.

Kennedy just then enters the room laughing.

Ken Kennedy: What are you, stoned? I can hear you talking to yourself from outside, it's quite funny actually.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Give me a break bro, I'm just lettin' one or two people know somethin' about our match with King Booker and Scott Steiner next week.

Ken Kennedy: We've still got some more time to kill before the match.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Well you're the idiot who got us here so early.

Ken Kennedy: You're sat in here talking to yourself and I'm the idiot?

Montel Vontavious Porter: Have you ever heard of a promo?

Ken Kennedy: Is that what you call it? Anyway, why don't you use some of those black man skills of yours and take us to one of those clubs you like.

Montel Vontavious Porter: Black man skills?

Ken Kennedy: Yeah you know, all that " player " this " player " that, home-boy, homie, vanilla slice, ballin', bouncin' hippity hip hoppity stuff.

MVP looks confused, but then clicks on.

Montel Vontavious Porter: You mean call my contact in the V.I.P room?

Kennedy smirks.

Ken Kennedy: That'll do.

Both guys head off and leave the scene as we cut out.