i miss David, the last time i went to his house, he was in a rotten mood, and he wouldn't even let me in. now, if that had happened to me a few years ago, i would've thought that he didn't want to be friends anymore. but now Rhiannon is ignoring me too, but she doesn't have cable tv. David doesn't ring me, or answer any messages, so why do i miss someone like that? i feel like i've made another bad judgement of character, and he really is a loser after all and not worth knowing. do i still want someone to look after me?

i keep remembering what he looked like, like pissed off "You understand why i can't let you in?" he said, well, frankly no, i don't understand, worse, i can imagine that i might get like that one day

i surfed yesterday on web, and discovered more than i ever wanted to know about lobotomies, and shock treatment, and i found some personal stories about depression, they were the best, and a woman emailed me yesterday about going WWOOFing, her name is Lily and she has lived in the city all her life and she is 50yo, she has set herself a departure date of August, three months to get ready, like i did