dec 27
well it must be nearly time for brekky and a shower and then going into town looking for a phone charger it is very strange being here i want to clean the keyboard and i keep forgetting that i am going into the kitchen to get a cloth or something to wipe it down with hmm maybe i am starting to get a bit hungry i'd like to ring up jUNE today but i'll do that if i think of it again or just look in my lill diary it is going to be humid today i fixed the shower door i guess it wasn't that hard and now i've started on the floor and the desk in this room i am being a cleaning fairy you know how you go to bed at night and the fairies do the work and then when you wake up again in the morning it is magically transformed well if there is one thing that i have learned from magic working it is that magic is hard work i do like this desktop though maybe this version of paint accepts other files other than bitmaps and this keyboard is doing that weird thing that it does with my eardrum maybe i should get that looked into but if my mum thinks that she is only just starting to fall apart now then that is good and they look at me and tell me i don't know what it is like to get old and i've just realised that i won't know how long three pages is maybe i could just declare it to be three of these pages and then i am sure that i can figure it out by now i am a little bit scratchy but not that much i suppose and there goes another train i think i must have slept through most of the trains this morning cause there didn't seem to be that many even though i know that it is a public holiday today oh mi god someone has got a guy sebastion CD errk hm yes well this room will be next till i can see the desk top to clean it off i might have to do the cleaning shuffle you know how i shift piles of stuff from one side to the other to clean underneath and then i shift them all back again i wonder if Gaye would like to come over and clean or whether she would think it was strange i just don't know i have got two of these little pages now but i know that i can write more than that and i am getting hot and hungry though more water drink more water that would be a good name for water bottles that you buy for the drinking of things out of them onto this third page now wow this monitor is just so much bigger than mine i wonder why there is no solitaire on here maybe the same reason why there is no solitaire on my computer and that table out there is going to get cleared too and the coffee table i need all those spaces to be able to think and then when the house is sufficiently clean to be less annoying then i will sew it is very exciting it is my first rennovation i have moved the window and resized it and it does the word wrapping properly like i couldn't figure out why mine wasn't doing it yes indeed very exciting didn't sleep much last night i was peaking out and the mosquito net kept all mossies off me and it was good and then the cat came in in the morning and slept with me and it was good yes indeedy i am due for a good grounding some of these tracks i have heard before and i like living in a house that i do not have to close all the windows for it is good excellent i wonder what anyone would steal there is heaps of stuff downstairs i have to find the keys cause i've forgotten where i put them in my bag i hope but there you go i am listening to the anthem foxtel cable station it isn't very anthemy though the anthems are very heavy bordering on being dance and the dance station is heaps more boring because i want to go to freestyle for dessert maybe i can just go there by myself

dEC 29
went to CoDA last night and finally met alan and he wasn't nearly as scary as he was made out to be the phone is broken and it doesn't ring so i can't hear it don't know when ppl are calling there was a storm the other night it was cold last night want to ask Suze and Hannah if it snowed down there the cats are ok, but i haven't seen the grey one since yesterday or the day before sounds like a BCC public announcement like they do when they are cutting the water or it could just be someone talking really loud i did sleep a bit this morning after i had been mudding with carol all night allan and i talked about the state of coda and i hear these little thumpy sounds which sound like the cat jumping down from somewhere my toes are cold! i can feel them like cold against each other found a place to buy a battery charger and it will cost forty dollars and why does louise hay's stuff work going to go to thursday alanon and have coffee with jacquie at the hilton and see how i can support her and it was really interesting talking to allan i must send a message to jane to get in touch with me cause infolink is closed this week and i want to check in on quentin nd i am thinking feeling this thought that the only way that i can be healthier than those around me is by not working but maybe that isn't it either it is more about dum di dum more about where my priorities are if my priority is my health and dam computer popped up some other window that was going to dial the modem again hm inhale breathe in the happy grass it loves you wants me needs to have me i it is all about me my priority is my health happiness and sanity to affirm to myself that i am healthy happy and sane and getting healthier happier and sanner every day by degrees and that is right for me and the work thing is an extension of myself and i could start a busines doing computer referrals for things i need to do a budget before i spend all my money so i know how much money i can pend on things other rent HK gave me fifty dollars for doing her hair and if she wants to repay me for cleaning the house she can plait my hair and undread it and clean it and all that stuff and give me belly dancing lessons and i would like to join the circus and do circus training and show people how i can do amazing things with my body and all the things that they could do to if only they tried whole heartedly with all their enthusiasm my enthusiasm for my health knows no bounds i have done al lot of mental training it is really quite a lot if i sit down and write it all own and i would amaze myself with all the things that i have done and all the things that i could yet do that i haven't even started to try yet i ant to talk to luigi again cause he is amazing to talk to especially when he woke up and smelled like a rotting cabbage the train is a luxury to have it go by so many times a day is really a convenience last night i trusted in HP that there would be another train for me to catch and i see that this three page thing is quite abritrary cause all kinds of people will use all kinds of different sizes of pages and stuff and well they are all different so they'll do different amounts of writing but i guess the point is to go for consistency and to write the same minimum amount everyday