Slaindeer Games

By Larilyn

Rating- NC-17 baby

Summary- The morning after Life Serial…the geeks aren’t finished playing their reindeer games. Much Spuffiness ensues.

Notes- Thanks to my Splendiforous beta Alana who is…well…splendiforous.

Disclaimer- Joss owns everything and everyone. I own some dryer lint.

Spike burst into the Summers’ kitchen, smoking under his blanket. He unceremoniously dumped it on the floor and nodded a quick hello to Giles & Willow who stood there staring at him.

Buffy sat at the breakfast bar, nursing a cup of coffee. Damn, should’ve cut off the whiskey. Girl looks like death. And not in a good way.

"Hello, he of much whiskey," she acerbically commented.

"Morning luv. How’s the head?"

"Spike?" Giles stammered. "Can you understand her?"

Spike regarded the Watcher with confusion. Trick question? "Uh…yeah. Can’t you?"

"No." Willow babbled, "Everything she says is all nonsense-y.

Buffy grabbed Spike’s arm, "You can understand me? How is that possible? I can’t even understand me." Her eyes were wide with excitement.

"All right, either the lot of you have gone completely mad…or my hangover’s worse than I thought."

"We’re serious, Spike," Willow asserted. "We can’t understand a word. Say something Buffy."

The Slayer rolled her eyes. "What the hell do you want me to say?"

"What did she say?" Willow demanded, practically bouncing on her toes.

"What did you hear?"

Giles admitted, "Chicken soup gurgle fetish."

Willow and Buffy both cast their eyes downward at Giles’s translation. Bloody hell! They’re serious about this. "Time loops? Nonsense talk? What the hell is causing this?"

"More importantly," Buffy sighed, "How do we fix it? Cause, I gotta say, not enjoying this."

Spike shrugged. Giles and Willow eyed him expectantly. Oh this is bloody lovely. Now I have to translate for the Scoobies. It was so much easier when I was supposed to kill the lot of them.

"Well?" Willow demanded, "What did she say? Cause I know she didn’t mean for us to watch out for the running kettle corn."

"Slayer’s more concerned with how to fix this. She’ll kick the ass of whoever’s involved once she can quip properly. Right luv?" Buffy nodded in assent.

"Well, it would seem that the two go hand in hand. This demon you saw last night? Could you describe it?"

Buffy opened her mouth to answer Giles, then realizing that it was a waste of time, she gestured to Spike.

"Right. Big bloke. Red. Horns. Garden variety demon."

"Tell him about the van!" Buffy urged.

"There was a van. Black. We saw it last night."

"Yes," Giles changed gears, "about last night…"

Great. I come over here to check on the bird and I’m gonna get scolded by the Watcher. Lovely way to spend a day. "Right…gotta go…evil to do."

But it was Buffy that stopped him, not Giles. She caught his sleeve and looked up at him, pleading with her eyes. "Spike…I can’t…"

"All right, luv."

***

"Its working!" Warren said proudly as the trio watched the monitor.

"Its funny," admitted Jonathan, "But is the Slayer sufficiently freaked?"

They watched Buffy grab Spike’s sleeve and beg him to stay.

"Oh, I think she’s pretty freaked," bragged Warren.

Andrew spoke with a hint of awe, "You were in the Slayer’s bedroom. The inner sanctum."

"The inner sanctum of kicking your ass if she had woke up."

"An earthquake couldn’t have woke her up, Mini Me," Warren told Jonathan, "Man oh man was she having one hell of a dream."

Jonathan grumbled, "I just hope you hid this device better than the last one."

"Don’t worry, its well hid. Its somewhere where she would never look."

Jonathan accused, "Its not somewhere dirty, is it?"

"Naw, its behind her right ear. Although, with the way she was spreading her legs last night, I could’ve put it there."

Andrew asked innocently, "Put it where?"

****

"So…" Spike glanced around the Summers’ living room awkwardly. Dawn & Willow had both gone off to school, and Giles had gone into the Magic Box to research Buffy’s condition. "Wanna watch the telly?"

Buffy shrugged and flopped onto the couch, "Sure, why not?"

The sat there companionably for several hours, watching soap operas and daytime talk shows. Spike supplied a running commentary on the stupidity of humans during the Jerry Springer show.

"Luv?" His deep drawl pulled her from her reverie. She quickly wiped the advancing tears from her eyes.

"Sad show," she insisted.

"Jeopardy?" He smiled at her lie. "Yeah, blooming tragic."

Spike reached up and took a tendril of her golden hair in his fingers. He assured her gently, "You’re gonna be fine." Then he smirked in that way of his, "Would I lie?"

"Let me see… yes?"

He afforded her a small smile but kept his reassuring tone, "S’gonna be all right, Slayer. You have my word."

She teased him without a single bit of malice, "The word of an evil guy? Not so encouraging."

A full blown smile erupted on his face. Nice. He should smile more often. Its very…bad! Bad Buffy! Spike is not appropriate boyfriend material. He’s evil. And dead. And holy God so very very sexy.

She dropped her eyes.

Spike took her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. Oh shit…this is bad. Those lips are just inches away. If I leaned in just a bit, we could be kissing. And then maybe we could finish my dream.

Buffy shot up out of her seat and paced the room, ranting, "Oh this sucks! My friends don’t understand me, I don’t understand me. Who understands me? Evil dead. No offense."

"None taken." He just sat there, smirking at her.

Hands on her hips, Buffy demanded, "What?"

Spike stood and sauntered over to her, "S’just, they don’t really understand you anyway."

"Are we having the creature of the night discussion again? Cuz I’m so not. I’m a daylight girl." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Really? Then why aren’t you out in it?"

"Well…it would be rude…to leave you here…alone…in my house."

"Afraid I’ll nick something, luv?"

"Yeah. Baby pictures, underwear."

Spike chuckled.

"You don’t even feel the littlest bit guilty do you?"

"Hardly ever," he replied, but he was distracted. What the hell is that? Spike was intent on studying her neck and even pushed her hair out of the way as he leaned closer.

She felt his fingers brush against her skin and settle in that sensitive spot behind her ear.

"What are you doing?" Buffy breathed. Ohgodohgodohgod. I’m feeling bad Buffy feelings. Having a very bad Buffy reaction.

Spike’s eyes widened noticeably. Do I smell what I think I smell? Startled by her physical reaction to his proximity, Spike shot back, "What are you doing?

"Nothing!" she protested, flushed with both arousal and embarrassment.

"You were gonna let me bite you!" he accused with a sort of glee.

"I was not!"

"You were. You were leaning." His voice changed a bit. With his naughty voice he asked, "You want me to bite you Slayer?"

Yes! "No! Ew."

"Not ew, luv. Erotic. Intimate."

"Hot. Wet. Throbbing…"

Willow burst in the door in her usual sunshine and kittens way, "Hey guys whatcha doing?"

"Nothing!" stammered Buffy, "Just you know… bills! Spike was giving me some financial advice."

"Buffy you can talk!" Willow exclaimed.

"I can? I can!"

"Found this on her." Spike held up a small device of some sort. So that’s what he was doing with my neck. And now…really embarrassed. And kind of wet…for Spike…

"Wow. I’ll start analyzing it. Must have a microprocessor in it cuz its teeny…." Willow wandered off.

Spike looked Buffy up and down and then told her, "I’ll pick you up at sunset luv."

"I’m not going anywhere with you." A beat passed and then, "Where are we going?"

"To fix your life."

She mumbled, "I’m sure you’re not that good."

"Not what I was talking about luv, but if you insist…"

Damned vampire hearing. And my mind, still way in the gutter. "What are you planning? Something evil?"

"Not evil…just a little bad. You game?"

***

"Okay score me," Warren instructed his fellow villains in training.

"Well," Jonathan mused, "For sheer comic value, I’d have to give you a four."

"A four? That’s ridiculous!"

Jonathan sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "It wasn’t as good as my time loop."

Andrew added enthusiastically, "It wasn’t even as funny as the episode of Voyager where the EMH meets the EMH2 and they have to save the prototype ship from the Romulans."

"We are not scoring on comedy!" Warren reminded them. "We are scoring on the ability to test the Slayer, make her think, make her work."

Jonathan snorted, "Well she didn’t have to work very hard since Spike could understand every word."

Andrew mused aloud, "Spike’s hot." Two heads swung and looked at him, mouths agape. He covered with, "I mean he’s like a total chick magnet."

Warren chose to ignore Andrew. "Okay, I forgot about the Spike factor when I designed the device. Can you do better?"

"Damn right," Jonathan asserted. "The Slayer won’t know what hit her."

End part two